"I wonder if they make almond-shaped marzipan candy."
Quotes
Interesting things said in my presence
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2003 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2004 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2005 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2006 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2007 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2008 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2009 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2010 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2011 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2012 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2013 |
other categories found with "food": sadness (30), weirdness (29), badness (27), gradschool (27), bad-ideas (25)
[ sort: date / rating, ↑ ↓ ]
[edit] added: 3 September 2012
(01:41:16) Aaron B: they are like, the crappiest, lowest quality, processed horribleness
(01:41:19) Aaron B: but they are so good
(01:41:33) Aaron B: you know what i mean
(01:41:36) jonorthwash: yes
(01:41:41) jonorthwash: I'm a grad student too you know
[edit] added: 16 February 2012
me: "Why do I suddenly want coffee?"
Andy: "Well, you do have cake. Or is that banana bread?"
me: "No, it's coffee cake... [sudden realization]"
[edit] added: 1 February 2012
Андрей: "А почему свинину не кушаешь?"
я: "Моя мама еврейка, и поэтому у нас такая семейная традиция есть."
Андрей: "А мой дед был Удмурт, и поэтому я все кушаю."
[edit] added: 16 December 2011
(03:10:38) spectie: i've done it before with a russian girl
(03:10:41) spectie: so i know the principles
[edit] added: 12 November 2011
(10:55:17) spectie: it's saturday
(10:55:29) spectie: i am permitted to eat breakfast of blinnchiki and nutella after 4pm
[edit] added: 25 October 2011
"My family doesn't ever have a ham for Christmas dinner because we're Jewish."
[edit] added: 24 July 2011
(17:24:59) ragib: in fact, I'm bangladeshi
(17:26:53) zfe: are there still tigers there?
(17:34:52) ragib: yes, the royal bengal tiger :D
(17:37:25) zfe: cool
(17:42:24) zfe: can you privately own one
(17:42:28) zfe: in bangladesh?
...
(17:45:47) ragib: zfe, no i guess
(17:46:16) zfe: :(
(17:46:21) zfe: i wanted to be like scarface
(17:46:23) zfe: in bangladesh
(17:46:24) zfe: my villa
(17:46:27) zfe: my tiger
(17:46:27) ragib: oh
(17:46:29) zfe: my cocaine addict wife
(17:46:31) zfe: :(
(17:46:46) firespeaker: zfe: first you have to join the mafia though
(17:46:57) firespeaker: ... *be* the mafia
(17:46:59) ragib: hm
(17:47:18) zfe: "be" is more proper
(17:47:30) firespeaker: I suspect if you were that rich, you probably could own a tiger
(17:47:47) TinoDidriksen: Legally, only if you build a zoo.
(17:47:50) firespeaker: whatever laws exist could be avoided by payments to the right officials
(17:48:01) firespeaker: TinoDidriksen: I'm not talking legally
(17:48:08) firespeaker: TinoDidriksen: this is Bangladesh we're talking about
(17:48:19) TinoDidriksen: True true
(17:48:23) zfe: well, buying a zoo license
(17:48:30) zfe: is not that expensive probably
(17:48:41) firespeaker: zfe: but there would probably be restrictions associated with it
(17:48:46) firespeaker: like letting people in to see your tiger
(17:48:52) zfe: sure
(17:48:58) zfe: but who told you i will keep the tiger in a cage?
(17:49:14) zfe: food for tiger √
[edit] added: 24 July 2011
(18:05:32) zfe: also tomorrow i'm getting on a boat
(18:05:38) zfe: and a turk will be driving
(18:05:43) zfe: which feels extremely wrong
(18:05:56) zfe: like i get invited by spectie and he cooks me spaghetti
(18:06:13) zfe: or i don't know, vietnam invading usa
(18:06:19) zfe: it really looks upside down
(18:06:27) zfe: a turk and an italian on a boat
(18:06:30) zfe: and the turk is driving
[edit] added: 14 May 2011
(21:24:01) [redacted]: ok, time for operation "holy crap my sink is so full of dishes it might be a breeding ground for new forms of life so i'd better do something about it"
(21:24:15) [redacted]: (good operation names are SO hard to come up with these days)
[edit] added: 8 February 2010
(21:43:46) Aaron B: and H&R are like "um, you got peanut butter in my chocolate; NO, you got CHOCOLATE in my peanut butter"
(21:43:51) Aaron B: except they don't like Reese's
(21:44:04) Aaron B: so they're grumpy about it
(21:44:19) Aaron B: basically they're like "phono is a completely arbitrary, abstract computation system; anything else = lame"
...
(21:46:37) Aaron B: lol, sorry
(21:46:50) Aaron B: sometimes i need to anthropomorphize complex theoretical issues
[edit] added: 25 January 2010
"Yeah, someone's throwing lemon harangue pies at me."
[edit] added: 9 September 2009
"And then I was planning on not eating lunch, but they had taco salad, and so I had to."
[edit] added: 19 July 2009
Jonathan: "Yeah, I remember being in the dark about stuff a lot when my Russian and Kazakh weren't very good: ‘Where are we? Why're we here?’"
Tekla: "‘Why's there a sheep boiling in the front yard?’"
[edit] added: 2 July 2009
[edit] added: 28 May 2009
me: "What happened to that banana?"
my mother: "They missed with the flame thrower they were using to kill the bugs."
[edit] added: 22 May 2009
"Flips like a pancake, lands like a rock—that's your father."
[edit] added: 21 March 2009
(03:46:50) Michael T: why do you think rice-a-roni was such a big hit ?
(03:46:52) Michael T: it was based on plov
[edit] added: 29 January 2009
anon: "So is this worse than the topic you didn't bring up?"
Liv: "Nah."
Jonathan: "Yeah, sex goes fine with food."
Lennea: "And sometimes it makes it better!"
[edit] added: 16 December 2008
(17:35:25) Michael T: i wonder if you can make eggnog from mayo
[edit] added: 22 October 2008
(00:57:37) Hannah: i don't understand why people can't pay me to cook and listen to music.
[edit] added: 18 October 2008
(21:58:30) Hannah: dude, i get nutrition. not when i eat mac&cheese, though :P
[edit] added: 29 September 2008
(23:14:35) Aaron B: i was at the dept from 9-6, had ice cream for dinner, and have been working since, excluding a few minutes when i fell afk (=asleep face-on keyboard)
…
(23:16:10) [me]: ooh though, ice cream
(23:16:18) Aaron B: yeah, i know, right?
(23:16:38) Aaron B: cookie dough
(23:17:05) [me]: I have mint chocolate chip
(23:17:17) Aaron B: but does yours have peanut butter in it?
(23:17:22) Aaron B: mine didn't, until it did
(23:17:28) Aaron B: but then it became better than yours
(23:18:40) [me]: that would make me so sick
(23:18:54) Aaron B: i feel sick right now, but that's the only reason i'm not laying down --
(23:18:59) Aaron B: because if i did, i'd barf
(23:19:07) Aaron B: it's me keep-working mechanism ;)
(23:19:14) Aaron B: (not really, but it sounded too good to pass up that story)
[edit] added: 23 August 2008
"It's my wedding, but I didn't plan it. I'll show up at the appointed place and time and say the appointed things. I'm told there will be food."
[edit] added: 15 August 2008
"What's that bean curd stuff?"
[edit] added: 9 June 2008
(15:45:30) [me]: you make gourmet food from foodbank handouts?
(15:45:39) Aladnsane: This is the PNW.
(15:46:07) Aladnsane: Foodbank handouts are raw ingredients, some canned goods, bakery rosemary diamantes, fresh fruit and veg... *shrug*
(15:46:15) Aladnsane: If you know how to take your pick, yes, I do
...
(15:49:05) Aladnsane: Seriously though; the Food Bank here is amazing
(15:50:49) Aladnsane: I've gotten fresh bell peppers, fresh cilantro, there's ALWAYS good bread (largely because most people going there have families, so they need whitebread for the kids, because they don't seem to realize that kids are /trained/ to be picky, rather than being naturally picky - it's serving them 'kids food', that makes kids picky), I mean, there's always things that are hard to find,
(15:50:51) [me]: in Seattle, I can imagine
(15:51:06) Aladnsane: Bellingham
(15:51:13) Aladnsane: In Seattle, I could get all of that Dumpster Diving
[edit] added: 13 May 2008
(13:31:11) Aaron B: i've taken to calling lots of things adventures now
(13:31:17) Aaron B: like, if i get lost -- that's an adventure
(13:31:30) Aaron B: forgot to buy something at the grocery and have to go back -- an adventure
(13:31:35) Aaron B: it makes me feel like my life is exciting
(13:31:57) Aaron B: i haven't yet gotten so desperate that i need to "adventure" to the living room
(13:32:00) Aaron B: but that day may come
[edit] added: 19 April 2008
To celebrate passover, i tried to make bread. Guess what? It didn't rise.
[edit] added: 15 April 2008
"Where's the rice at? No, the good rice, this is the rice with rocks in it."
[edit] added: 14 April 2008
"I'm scared of your fridge. I never know if it's some strange experiment or food."
[edit] added: 13 April 2008
"I've found that mayonaisse enhances the flavour of a lot of things."
[edit] added: 13 April 2008
"So I was reading this ethnography written by this Russian guy who went to what's now Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan in 1913. Apparently, in the jayloo, the women do everything, even up to herding the animals; the men sit around on a rock or sit around and sun themselves; when they get bored, they pull out their shotgun and shoot a marmot, and skin it while the women cook dinner. All they've done is brought that system down into the city."
[edit] added: 26 March 2008
"Well, it's like a protein bar."
[edit] added: 19 March 2008
мен: "Таңга чейин чай иче алам."
Тралик: "Давай спор!"
[edit] added: 19 March 2008
Тралик: "Чай ичесиңби?"
мен: "Уф, жок, болдум."
Тралик: "Давай, паслений стакан."
мен: "Макул. Элүү грам."
[edit] added: 19 March 2008
Elmira: "Oops, I think I did something to [i.e., spilled something on] your pants."
Soviet: "That's okay, you're the one who's going to wash them [by hand]."
[edit] added: 19 March 2008
Elmira: "Oops, I think I did something to [i.e., spilled something on] your pants."
Soviet: "That's okay, you're the one who's going to wash them [by hand]."
[edit] added: 26 February 2008
(17:02:31) [me]: I can't think of anything to make from potatoes
(17:03:34) kesuari: mashed potatoes?
(17:03:43) [me]: nah
(17:04:12) [me]: I mean, soup, mashed potatoes, and omlit (tortilla española) all come to mind
(17:04:18) [me]: but I don't want any of those
...
(17:05:51) [me]: maybe I'll just make that really good curry again
(17:10:05) kesuari: you can also make stamps out of potatoes
(17:10:17) [me]: I was thinking of food
(17:10:23) [me]: not .. other stuff
(17:10:27) [me]: that I have no use for :-P
(17:10:37) kesuari: given you're talking to me, you really should've specified
[edit] added: 24 February 2008
(02:21:33) Rianna: i'm hungry for something, but i'm highly unsure what
(02:22:20) Rianna: but i dunno, i don't wanna cook up pea soup now
(02:22:40) [me]: well, bawırsaq might be good
(02:22:46) [me]: I had some really good boorsoq today
(02:23:01) [me]: bog'irsoq isn't too hard to make
(02:23:05) [me]: I have a recipe
(02:23:09) [me]: though I've never actually tried it
(02:23:19) Rianna: mitä vittuu toi o?
(02:23:30) [me]: a type of fried dough / bread
(02:23:31) [me]: kind of
(02:23:37) Rianna: hahaha
(02:23:38) Rianna: nice
(02:23:41) [me]: ?
(02:23:50) Rianna: you answered my question :-p
(02:23:54) [me]: ..?
(02:23:55) [me]: so?
(02:24:08) Rianna: it was in another language..?
(02:24:13) [me]: oh shit
(02:24:15) [me]: wtf
(02:24:19) [me]: okay
(02:24:26) Rianna: i just asked you what the fuck is that
(02:24:30) Rianna: and you just answered that
(02:24:30) [me]: I guess I'm just used to guessing what people are saying half the time anyway
(02:24:46) [me]: don't really pay attention to how they say it unless I'm in linguist mode
(02:24:47) Rianna: you should put that on your quotes page to show off your mad skillz
(02:25:16) Rianna: you're a....demigod among linguists, Jonathan
[edit] added: 19 February 2008
[MTVде уйду соосу көрсөтүлөт]
мен: "Неге саап жатат?"
Траллик: "Саабаса болбойт."
мен: "Жок, сааганын неге көрсөтөт?"
Траллик: "Просто, реклама, билбейм."
[edit] added: 6 February 2008
Thatcher: [makes face] "What is this stuff?"
me: "That? Vitamins."
Thatcher: "... Yeah, it is."
[edit] added: 1 February 2008
(23:23:55) Sarah: Hmm...I'm not sure if this soup is safe...
(23:24:29) Sarah: It's supposed to be chicken and dumplings....but it looks like vegetable soup with dumplings thrown in here and there
(23:24:58) [me]: sounds like someone went fishing all the good stuff out
(23:25:25) Sarah: This is in a can though!
[edit] added: 1 February 2008
(23:28:44) Sarah: Blech...this is vegetable soup with chicken and dumplings....does not compute :|
(23:29:39) Sarah: It's the Healthy Choice shit so maybe that's why
(23:30:41) Sarah: I'll make it unhealthy. I'm going to eat chocolate covered pretzels afterwards.
(23:34:07) [me]: send me some?
...
(23:35:15) Sarah: Hmmm....do you want me to send you some?
(23:35:27) [me]: heh, I was just kidding
(23:35:32) [me]: unless you can find a way to e-mail them to me
(23:35:55) Sarah: I only have one bag here and I am NOT sharing them.
(23:36:00) [me]: aw
(23:36:35) Sarah: I'll share some of my weird soup with you?
(23:36:40) [me]: ROFL, no thanks
(23:37:07) Sarah: Good, because you'd probably vomit and hate me for the rest of your life.
(23:37:21) [me]: is it that bad?
(23:37:55) Sarah: It would be fine if it were just vegetable soup, but it's like they tried to add chicken and dumplings.....but it's VEGETABLE soup.
(23:40:17) [me]: what's the soup call itself?
(23:40:45) Sarah: It says that it's chicken and dumplings. I got maybe 3 pieces of bite sized chicken?
[edit] added: 26 January 2008
(22:53:40) [me]: it's the cheapest wine I've seen
(22:53:59) [me]: it's cheaper than like soda
(22:54:02) [me]: and bottled water
(22:54:30) Rianna: I some how doubt Jesus has been active in their area :-p
[edit] added: 8 January 2008
Jonathan: "I mean, I've heard bad things about the place."
Lara: "What sorts of bad things?"
Jonathan: "That people tried pizza for the first time there and never wanted to eat pizza again."
Thatcher: "Yeah, 'cause it doesn't have mutton fat in it."
[edit] added: 3 January 2008
Jonathan: "Суп жақсы екен."
Қали: "Суп емес—повор жақсы."
[edit] added: 1 December 2007
[a woman cuts ahead in line at store to get a dirty, brown, unappetising-looking root vegetable weighed]
guy at head of line to woman: "Это бесплатно, наверно."
[edit] added: 25 November 2007
"You don't know Central Asia if you think eating trumps toasts."
[edit] added: 6 November 2007
"If they wanted it to be pronounced [latkəz], they should've spelled it ‘lutkers’."
[edit] added: 29 October 2007
"We have gas and matches. And a device that makes sure we don't create an explosion when we mix the two."
[edit] added: 23 October 2007
"Кантип жаңгак ача албайсың? Таш бар го?"
[edit] added: 23 October 2007
"Well, he just came from America, where people have jobs and have to do stuff, but now he's in Central Asia, where people drink tea."
[edit] added: 6 September 2007
my father: "Wait, why's it that much cheaper?"
employee at undisclosed fast-foodery: "I gave you the senior discount. ...Not sayin' there're any seniors around here—I just hooked y'all up."
[edit] added: 5 September 2007
"You guys had lots of things growing up that other people had never heard of, like broccoli cookies."
[edit] added: 29 August 2007
me: "How can you recall food?"
my mother: "If you don't, it recalls itself."
[edit] added: 23 July 2007
"Somehow I think the soda market is more fluid than the music industry."
[edit] added: 13 July 2007
"It's probably been about 20 years since I've eaten play-dough, but I still remember what it tastes like."
[edit] added: 10 July 2007
"I don't think I've ever had smore burn-out."
[edit] added: 6 July 2007
Stefan: "Okay everyone, remember, besh barmaq at my place on Friday."
Michael: "More like yigirme besh barmaq."
[edit] added: 23 May 2007
"I need some real food. Ooh, Reese's!"
[edit] added: 29 April 2007
[oven beeps]
Gretchen: "Yay, food that isn't peanut butter and jelly!"
[edit] added: 28 April 2007
Jonathan: "Look at all the different kinds of mould in there! There's white ones, black ones, grey ones, and green ones."
Derek: "And they're all living in harmony."
[edit] added: 15 April 2007
me, holding a can of Mountain Dew: "You know what would probably be good? This and orange juice."
Derek: "I donno man...."
me: "I mean it's green and orange—how can you go wrong with… oh, wait."
[edit] added: 30 March 2007
Anara, Palao isn't Kazakh for plov, plov is Russian for palao. Don't ever forget that.
[edit] added: 21 March 2007
(00:31:27) [me]: btw, safeway's website claims that this one is 24hours
(00:31:32) [me]: is it sketchy to go there at 1am?
(00:31:39) Derek: yes
(00:31:47) Derek: you're probably a crack dealer
[edit] added: 4 March 2007
"I did have the dishes washed..."
[edit] added: 4 March 2007
Derek: "Blood sucks."
Jonathan: "Then it'd be a vampire, but blood can't be a vampire—then it'd be cannibalistic."
[edit] added: 11 February 2007
Jonathan: "Mm, easy mac. I'm hungry. We don't have easy mac, do we?"
Derek: "No, but we have hard mac."
[edit] added: 12 February 2007
Gabe: "So in other words, every time something stupid came into your head, you'd have to do it immediately."
Jonathan: [playing with something on the table at a restaurant] "Like me!"
[edit] added: 12 February 2007
Girl at check-out: "You just want the bagel?"
Derek: "Yeah. But I want the stuff inside too. Is that okay?"
Girl at check-out: "Sure."
[edit] added: 11 February 2007
"Kazakh is sweet piece of cake comparing to Russian.. Russian is even more harder than English..."
[edit] added: 15 January 2007
(19:48:35) [Aladnsane]: Kosher slaughter generally seems a good idea to me. Simple. Effective. Not Traif.
[edit] added: 9 January 2007
my mother: "Did you put all your candy in a bag?"
me: "Nah, I just took some wrapping paper and put it all in there."
my mother: "But it's not a bag..."
me: "It's taped together though."
my mother: "But I taped it..."
[edit] added: 11 November 2006
"Do you want me to stir this with another spoon or a different spoon?"
[edit] added: 5 November 2006
"If I were a buffalo, and I tasted this good, I'd want to be factory farmed."
[edit] added: 21 October 2006
"Women are like the eternal food source. They make things like beverages, and meats."
[edit] added: 14 October 2006
"That's interesting: if you eat spicy food with the back of your mouth, the back part gets burned."
[edit] added: 13 October 2006
Jonathan: "Hey, Derek, gonna get tested for rabies?"
Derek: "Yeah, I guess I should—I wouldn't want to infect the squirrels."
[edit] added: 8 October 2006
Gabe: "When people tell me they're vegan, I just feel like shoving a steak down their throat."
Derek: "I'm vegan." [opens mouth]
[edit] added: 11 September 2006
Hannah: "You have to come taste the icing to see if it's still any good."
Jonathan: "Why do I have to come taste the icing?"
Hannah: "Because the Reeses bits are old."
[edit] added: 7 June 2006
"Are you sure we should be, like, mining for nuts in the ice-cream tub?"
[edit] added: 30 May 2006
"Do you want another slice of iced tea and some more bread?"
[edit] added: 28 May 2006
"This is, like, the ultimate incarnation of toast."
[edit] added: 28 May 2006
Rianna: "What should we do with the bread?"
Jonathan: "Well, we could toast it."
Rianna: "Yeah, that's what I was thinking—that'll make it easier to spread the avocado joy."
[edit] added: 27 May 2006
"Everybody does that to salads. It makes them look like they're bleeding."
[edit] added: 11 May 2006
"IHOP serves shit, not breakfast. However, it is becoming increasingly tempting."
[edit] added: 5 May 2006
Aladnsane: "Don't tip this. There's a beverage involved."
Jonathan: "But I like tipping things with beverages involved… like cows."
[edit] added: 4 May 2006
Jonathan: "Why did the French decide to settle Louisiana? What were they thinking, with the bayous and the prehistorical aligator-looking thingies that eat you?"
Gabe: "Well, the French are frogs, right?"
Jonathan: "Well, they eat frogs."
Derek: "Maybe they were looking for Yoda."
[edit] added: 2 May 2006
"In Japan, I met people who had made rice makers their personal bitch: they made bread, cookies, brownies, and baked potatoes in a rice maker."
[edit] added: 1 May 2006
"I got cold, instead of hot. I asked for a little whipped cream—and got a lot."
[edit] added: 1 May 2006
"I got cold, instead of hot. I asked for a little whipped cream—and got a lot."
[edit] added: 21 April 2006
"This tastes like melted lollipops."
[edit] added: 21 April 2006
"This Birthright haggadah has less hebrew and songs, and more ‘Come to Israel.’"
[edit] added: 14 April 2006
01:28:50 [sn withheld]: Seattle has one MAJOR downside.. how the hell do you ask a girl out for coffee if you ONLY EVER SEE HER IN A COFFEE SHOP!?!
[edit] added: 31 March 2006
"We'll make you a deal—if there's a lunar eclipse, we'll give you something to eat; if there's not, we eat you."
[edit] added: 15 February 2006
Guy at checkout: "What is that?"
me: "That's a rutabaga."
Guy at checkout: "Uh, how do you spell that?" [fumbles through code guide]
me: "R-U-T-A-B-E-G-A"
Guy at checkout: [finds code and punches it in]
me: "What is this world coming to?"
Guy at checkout: "Well, sir, we have a lot of produce, and I don't know what it all is."
[edit] added: 2 February 2006
02:26:13 [me]: meh. I'll do this later
02:26:29 [me]: more food
02:26:43 [Tristan]: food's always good
02:27:01 [Tristan]: that's why people spelt "food" and "good" with mostly the same letters, even tho they don't rhyme
02:27:23 [Tristan]: this nonsense about "phonetic drift" and "irregular splits" is just that.
[edit] added: 17 January 2006
01:04:54 [me] (Autoreply): trying to get my spaghetti sauce recipe to taste right for once
01:18:07 qatharsis: May His Noodly Appendage guide you on this endeavor.
[edit] added: 27 December 2005
My father: "I ate breakfast for a whole year."
Hannah: "Yesterday."
[edit] added: 3 December 2005
20:23:03 [Laura]: I want a pack of black flesh eating squirrels that i can command to attack people i don't like.
20:23:37 [Laura]: Hungry squirrels. It's better than say, hungry rats, because it's so much more degrading to be killed by a squirrel than a rat.
20:24:09 [Laura]: Wouldn't you love to sic a pack of meat-eating squirrels on your enemies?
[edit] added: 19 August 2005
[00:00] Aaron B: eel is like fish that got mutated...
[00:00] Aaron B: i bet if you genetically combined a sheep and a fish, the first few would come out like eels.
[edit] added: 9 August 2005
"India's got a billion people; there's gotta be a few bad apples."
[edit] added: 25 July 2005
"Don't swallow endings, Scott. Otherwise you'll be getting fat."
[edit] added: 12 July 2005
Laura [03:49]: If there were a vampire come to get me, he wouldn't be able to sleep for days i drink so much coffee
Laura [03:50]: JOLT GUM IS DELICIOUS
[edit] added: 6 July 2005
Aaron B [20:47]: in *america* we don't have an "h"
go to any store
[edit] added: 4 July 2005
(21:59:14) [me]: isn't it funny, that it's C Store and Java City
[edit] added: 5 April 2005
(00:35:10) Оберон: I get the vision of a squirrel eating
(00:35:18) Оберон: you know how they eat with rapid, tiny bites, looking around furtively?
(00:35:24) Оберон: the way you qualify the same statement about four times
(00:35:34) Оберон: it makes me think you're waiting for something with binocular vision to eat you
[edit] added: 27 March 2005
"It makes me calm every time I take a sip."
[edit] added: 15 March 2005
"Greer, did you fry beef in my hat?"
[edit] added: 13 March 2005
Jonathan: "That's a lot of rice."
Matt: "Yeah.."
Jonathan: "So I'll put a lot of corn on it."
[edit] added: 27 February 2005
Jonathan: "Чё готовишь? [What're you making?]"
Vickie: "Cauliflower."
Jonathan: "С яйцами? [With eggs?]"
Vickie: "Yep."
Jonathan: "И с флафом?! [And with marshmallow fluff?!]"
Vickie: "Yep. And with paprika and Tony's."
[edit] added: 25 February 2005
"I was like wait a minute, I can taste the alcohol in this, but then I realised it was the grapefruit."
[edit] added: 23 February 2005
Matt: "Well, I'd rather be able to feed you than put jalapeños in it."
Vickie: "Why?"
Matt: "Because I like you more than I like jalapeños."
[edit] added: 10 February 2005
"My father likes ketchup on knishes. My father also likes ketchup on latkes. But he's a goy."
[edit] added: 29 January 2005
Jonathan: "Homntashn's good shit."
David: "That's exactly what it is."
[edit] added: 28 January 2005
Nat: "Don't you want 50cc of chocolate ice cream?"
Vickie: "Oh! I need to call my mother!"
[edit] added: 28 January 2005
"Yes, we're writing character sheets for silverware. Shut up."
[edit] added: 23 January 2005
Nat: "Reciprocical could be a type of popsicle."
Jonathan: "You mean a `recipopsicle'?"
Vickie: "The popsicle that sucks you?!"
Matt: "Well, it would go numb after a while."
[edit] added: 17 January 2005
[discussion about birth control in Kazakhstan]
Jess: "Well, there are always used kvas bottles."
Jonathan [hands Jess a glass bottle]: "Here. You know where to put it. Be my guest."
Ian: "Well, if the condom breaks, you'll know right away."
[Whole room cringes in pain.]
Ian: "Mental note: no glass condoms."
Matt: "Well, there goes my version of Cinderella ."
[edit] added: 15 January 2005
(01:26:33) Aaron B: let's focus here
(01:26:38) Aaron B: ihop
(01:26:43) Aaron B: we need to get a car
(01:26:56) Jonor Thwash: we could steal and hotwire one?
(01:27:09) Aaron B: yes!
(01:27:11) Aaron B: oh wait
(01:27:14) Aaron B: that's a "bad" idea
[edit] added: 18 December 2004
Nat: "Yeah, Hood chocolate milk is good..."
Jon: "Chocolate cheese is not."
[edit] added: 25 November 2004
Jonathan: "Whoa, there's all sorts of junk in there."
Vickie: "Yeah. It's a trash can."
Jonathan: "Well, there's like styrofoam and banana peals."
[edit] added: 23 November 2004
"Mmm, human subjects!"
[edit] added: 20 November 2004
Jonathan: "If the flour turns into pie crust, then how do those kids in plays deal with getting it out of their hair?"
Nat: "They don't put flour in their hair—they put shoe polish or baby powder in their hair."
Jon: "Or Kool-Aid."
[edit] added: 14 November 2004
oberon: "It's just funny that you have a picture of your boyfriend framed and labelled 'Kitty'. One of them you leave bowls of cream out for. One of them's a cat."
Ian: "No, one them you put bowls of cream out for; the other one puts bowls of cream out for you."
[edit] added: 14 November 2004
"I'll just show up to Waban Market in the morning and take all their bread. `This am mine now!'"
[edit] added: 12 November 2004
Matt: "Given a perfectly spherical tongue of uniform density..."
[edit] added: 9 November 2004
"Where'd my 'feine go? Who stole my—?! Oh, I finished it. Aw, that was the last 'feine."
[edit] added: 26 October 2004
"No, you don't get it. Domino's is bad pizza for the same reason steak is bad pizza."
[edit] added: 25 October 2004
"This is chocolate and not bugs, right?"
[takes a sniff]
"Yeah, good."
[edit] added: 15 October 2004
oberon: "The cheese is in the fridge, the cheese is the fridge, hi-ho the dairy-o, Illegal Audio-MPEG-Header 0x54414750 at offset 0x1e0800"
Jonathan: "... Uhm.."
oberon: "What? You don't know that verse?"
[edit] added: 15 October 2004
Jon: "I've got a sugary beverage in my pants."
oberon: "Uh, Jon, that's not a beverage."
Jon: "No, more like a protein shake."
followed by oberon confused and grossed out, spending 30 seconds trying to come up with a "shaken, not stirred" joke and failing
[edit] added: 11 October 2004
"In the morning, the dish drain will be different. By that point, it'll've turned into a clean-dish-eating robot."
[edit] added: 8 October 2004
Nat: "You wanna try my cheese popcorn?"
oberon: "I'll try anything food-like—ooh, that's not so much like food."
[edit] added: 4 October 2004
"I'm sorry, you can't buy that here, we don't sell those. You'll have to put it back."
[edit] added: 2 October 2004
"PHO-NOLOGY. Starts with Vietnamese soup and ends with `nology'."
[edit] added: 2 October 2004
"No, I'm fine with vegetarians—they can eat anything they want—I just want more cow."
[edit] added: 2 October 2004
Jon: "Who left the iced tea pitcher with 2 shots in it?"
Vickie: "Wait, you don't measure iced tea in shots."
Nat & Jonathan simultaneously: "Jon measures everything in shots."
[edit] added: 30 September 2004
"This chocolate gives me female orgasms."
[edit] added: 30 September 2004
"There's nothing that starts with chocolate and rum and ends with balls that's not good."
[edit] added: 25 September 2004
oberon wanted to try a brandy-filled chocolate
Greer: "Sorry, you don't get that kind because there's only one left."
Jonathan: "You can have my half if you want."
oberon: "That's okay, a vodka and a lawyer are enough for me."
[edit] added: 25 September 2004
(21:31:32) Aaron B: if (oberon.making_garlic_bread_p) {
aaron.go(geekshelter)
}
[edit] added: 10 September 2004
"That's spinach. You're confusing it with food."
[edit] added: 5 May 2004
[oberon eats cheddar goldfish with chocolate frosting (with real butter)]
"This is making me sick."
[edit] added: 5 May 2004
(02:26:38) [me]: you staying up all night?
(02:28:22) Оберон: Probably
(02:28:24) Оберон: Bring cheese
(02:28:26) Оберон: I've got chocolate
(02:28:28) Оберон: oh, and bring root beer
(02:28:48) Оберон: Hell, bring whatever the fuck you want ;)
(02:28:54) Оберон: We can even boil some water and put it in my freezer
(02:29:01) Оберон: that should make it safe to drink when it cools
[edit] added: 3 May 2004
(18:20:28) Оберон: I'd never miss free, easily accessible food
(18:20:35) Оберон: Though I'm afraid dinner may consist largely of tainted cow
(18:22:01) Оберон: ...which would make a much better band name than entree
[edit] added: 22 April 2004
(19:17:13) Оберон: http://www.goats.com/comix/0104/goats010402.gif
(19:17:37) Оберон: Some might say that's offensive because it depicts a man being reassured by the promise of cookies.
(19:17:49) Оберон: What those people miss is that, without women to reassure us and bring us cookies, men would be hopelessly lost.
[edit] added: 18 April 2004
"I almost inhaled the horseraddish, and I was thinking 'If that goes down wrong, I will die.'"
[edit] added: 11 April 2004
"It's Easter and we need chicken."
[edit] added: 29 March 2004
"I trust the Boulevard not to actively poison me, just not to not passively poison me, like this crap."
[edit] added: 14 March 2004
"I really do know how to bang bottles of coke."
[edit] added: 6 March 2004
Jonathan: "Freckles are good."
Jess: "Yeah, they're like little specks of chocolate."
[edit] added: 28 February 2004
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of peppermint schnapps."
[edit] added: 25 February 2004
(06:12:40) Оберон: If a woman walked up to you tomorrow and said "I bet you have a wonderful snapple, and I'm absolutely not asexual -- how about you come back to my place and do me?" would you assume she wanted to know the way to Usdan?
(06:12:51) [me]: I might...
[edit] added: 17 February 2004
Vickie: "We can make margaritas, but we need a blender"
oberon: "Render? Burritos? Huh?"
[edit] added: 14 February 2004
(15:12:13) Alex: Oh, talking about eating - have you eaten any of your booty yet?
[edit] added: 12 February 2004
"Asian food is like Cajun food, but without the /k/.... Using that fact you can derive the taste of /k/."
[edit] added: 12 February 2004
Jonathan: "It smells again."
oberon: "Of what?"
Jonathan: "Burning."
oberon: "All I smell's the beef."
[edit] added: 10 February 2004
Chef: "I don't even know what to put in these things [Calzones]. What veggies do we have?"
Manager: "Bacon."
[edit] added: 10 February 2004
"My mouth is tingling funny. As long as it doesn't go bang I'm fine."
[edit] added: 10 February 2004
"I'm saying i ~ ɪ; you're hearing the airhead."
[edit] added: 4 February 2004
"That's why Aramark doesn't need a hazardous waste disposal license. They can just make things like that."
[edit] added: 1 February 2004
[on phone with Aaron]
"Hold on, I need to go make some soup."
[a couple mins pass]
"Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line for the next available customer service agent."
[more mins pass]
"Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. Your call will be answered in .. two minutes."
[more mins pass]
"Tiki house, what you want ɔːdɐː?!!"
[edit] added: 28 January 2004
"Why does the diet coke here [Usdan] taste different than at Sherman?"
[edit] added: 25 January 2004
"By the way, don't get the veggie wrap the way they normally make it; it's like 30% veggie and 70% mayonnaise. It's mystery-sauce-alicious."
[edit] added: 17 December 2003
Jonathan: "That peppermint ice cream would probably be good with some of those mint hershey's kisses melted and dribbled on top."
Hannah: "Ugh.. ... Mmmm...."
[edit] added: 25 November 2003
(19:42:39) Aarón: i misplace sodas a lot
(19:42:46) Aarón: they usually end up exploded in the freezer
[edit] added: 24 November 2003
"It's freezing; can we go get ice cream now?"
[edit] added: 23 November 2003
(18:43:06) Mark: There comes a point where you can reduce anything to anything. I mean, reconstructions of reconstructions of reconstructions - they're building a PIE in the sky
[edit] added: 8 November 2003
[at Lizzie's, we hear a muffled scream coming from another room]
Ben: "That's why the ice cream tastes so good—they make it from gentile children."
[edit] added: 6 November 2003
(03:32:19) [me]: heh. Norwegian is a funny language
(03:32:28) Оберон: lol, yes.
(03:32:33) Оберон: thanks for pointing that out
(03:32:35) Оберон: or something
(03:33:16) [me]: ack, too much Norwegian. Need Silly Wizard
(03:33:45) Оберон: lol
(03:34:44) [me]: mmm, Macedonian
(03:34:52) Оберон: lol
(03:35:23) Оберон: at first, "(03:34) [jonathan]: mmm, Macedonian" looks like a random quote
(03:35:28) Оберон: but with some creative editing we have:
(03:35:42) Оберон:
(03:33) [jonathan]: I like the taste of European flesh
(03:34) [jonathan]: mmm, Macedonian
[edit] added: 6 November 2003
Peter, rummaging through the food drawer at work: "Ooh, coffee beans. Those will keep me awake in class. Do you think they're caffeinated?"
me: " ... Probably. I mean, why would Dave have coffee in the office if it weren't caffeinated?"
Peter: "How many do I need?"
me, Adam: [laughter] "Uhm, Peter...."
Peter: [humbled voice] "I'm serious."
[edit] added: 5 November 2003
(16:50:20) Оберон: in the past two days I've eaten...a muffin
(16:50:24) Оберон: maybe that's why I feel tired.
(16:50:31) Оберон: half a muffin, really
(16:50:56) Оберон: now that I think about it, it's odd I passed max300 on a 36 hour caloric intake of probably about 500 C
[edit] added: 5 November 2003
"I don't mind smelling funny at Usdan because everything smells funny at Usdan, including the food."
[edit] added: 3 November 2003
"I feel like I should pay. I technically ate the technically food."
[edit] added: 21 October 2003
(02:22:15) Mark: what kind of pizza is cheeseless pizza?
(02:22:22) [me]: what Kathryn eats
(02:22:32) [me]: I've had sauceless pizza... it's pretty good I guess
(02:22:48) Mark: yeah i wouldnt want to eat non real pizza
(02:23:28) Mark: Non-real pizza is defined as (pizza)i where i=sqrt(-1), or the (-cheese) factor
[edit] added: 20 October 2003
"Mm. Chicken-fried doughnut."
[edit] added: 30 August 2003
[Kathryn is vegan]
Laura: "I should spray some squirt cheese at you. We could fill a watergun with it."
Kathryn: "I'm sorry, I don't think that has any dairy products at all in it."
Jonathan: "You could always melt a block of cheddar and put that in a watergun."
Laura: "But then it would get hard."
Kathryn: "And that would destroy the watergun."
&c.
[edit] added: 7 August 2003
(05:17:01) Kesuari: umm... clag is a kind of glue that children in kinder/grade prep/1/2 use... i can't describe it any better, but i mean it seems similar to that.
(05:17:11) [me]: paste
(05:17:32) [me]: My first thought with that word was glue-like stuff
(05:17:46) [me]: though I don't think I've heard that word before in my life
(05:17:50) [me]: it's an onomotopoeia for glue!
(05:18:08) Kesuari: do you mean you haven't heard the word clag?
(05:18:10) Kesuari: or claggy?
(05:18:12) [me]: or maybe it's because of its striking phonetic similarity to coagulate
(05:18:16) [me]: nope
(05:18:23) [me]: hey, you don't know what gyros are..
(05:18:30) Kesuari: true. what's a gyros?
[edit] added: 7 August 2003
(05:04:59) ***Kesuari wonders why america is the centre of the world if they don't have fish and chips, pineapple on hamburgers, or affordable buyable nice bread.
[edit] added: 31 July 2003
[standing by an orange tree trying to get down a good orange]
me: "Ooh, try to get that one up there."
Mahesh: "I'm not a monkey, man."
[edit] added: 19 July 2003
"I just want something that's `I can't believe it doesn't taste like crap.'"
[edit] added: 9 July 2003
(15:25:24) Qatharsis: Though it's more like /awa/ in quick speech. Then again, Bäärner never speak any quicker than a Zürcher on Valium with two spoons of peanut butter in his mouth.
[edit] added: 22 June 2003
(19:49:51) ¡Luz!: got a fortune cookie tonight:
(19:50:16) ¡Luz!: "A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Ouch!"
[edit] added: 21 June 2003
(02:51:51) Casuarius: though you can tell something's going to taste bad when it's advertised as being good for you and the most well-known brand is called 'so good'...
[edit] added: 18 June 2003
(16:08:18) Adam Batkin: GCM is this really complex client-server program that lets you edit the clipboard, modify all sorts of internal properties, probably talk over an XML-RPC or SOAP interface to it and toast your bread, but it can't fucking grab the actual clipboard
[edit] added: 18 June 2003
(02:54:29) [Shreyas]: i better eat soon
(02:54:36) [Shreyas]: i'm trying to reset my sleep cycle
(02:55:03) [me]: I should sleep soon, myself
(02:55:14) [me]: I didn't get enough sleep last night so napped today
(02:55:16) [me]: big mistake
(02:55:19) [me]: now I'm wide awake
(02:55:28) [me]: and have class in 5 and a half hours
(02:55:38) [me]: well, not *wide* awake
(02:55:46) [Shreyas]: crazy
(02:55:53) [me]: I had a tired spell around 12:30 when my sugar crashed from snacking on fig bars
(02:55:56) [Shreyas]: yeah, you should sleep
(02:56:07) [Shreyas]: that's probably a way to do it
(02:56:15) [Shreyas]: you could sugar crash again
(02:56:19) [Shreyas]: and sleep then
(02:56:24) [me]: I'm out of fig bars
(02:56:32) [Shreyas]: maple syrup?
[edit] added: 17 June 2003
(02:03:48) [me]: and I have ten salts in my soup
(02:04:01) оберон - desktop: I usually put in 12.
(02:04:03) оберон - desktop: Gives it more flavor.
[edit] added: 15 June 2003
(18:50:38) [me]: it's sad that it has to say "made with real fruit :)" on this box of fig bars..
(18:51:04) [Tristan]: with a *smiley*?
(18:51:19) [me]: well, it looks like a smiley, but it could be a ray of sunshine
[edit] added: 30 April 2003
"George Lucas was a starving artist. Now he's fat."
[edit] added: 21 April 2003
"Yeah, I tried Matzah once. Someone said it was like couscous and I was like 'I'm down with couscous' and I tried it and was like 'Where's the flavour at?'"
[edit] added: 13 April 2003
David: "If you virus my computer, I'll eat your soul."
Rameez: "How are you going to do that?"
David: "The same way I eat this shit."
[edit] added: 28 March 2003
"That's the white trash thing to do to chocolate."
[edit] added: unknown
"Broccoli is a tool of the devil. It looks like a green brain."
[edit] added: unknown
"That always freakin happens to me—I'm always thirsty."
[edit] added: unknown
"Eating eggs is like eating unborn fetuses—look, you dropped fetus on your lap!"
[edit] added: unknown
Me: "What's that thing when you mix orange juice with vodka?"
Hannah: "Suicide?"
[edit] added: unknown
"Man, it's late; I need some chocolate."
[edit] added: unknown
[22:36:06] LunaCamilla: ugh i feel sick for some reason. those noodles shouldn't have made me sick! they're asian.
[edit] added: unknown
[21:41:53] LunaCamilla: my biscotti tells me that if it makes me happy, to do it at least once
[21:42:08] firespeaker org: that's not always possible
[21:42:18] LunaCamilla: yeah, i was thinking that
[21:42:23] LunaCamilla: i told the biscotti that
[21:42:27] LunaCamilla: but it wouldn't listen
[21:42:32] LunaCamilla: so i ate it
[edit] added: unknown
"Tiki, Tiki, bobiki, banana bana...."
[edit] added: unknown
"I'm Turkish; I can eat as many fortune cookies and get as many fortunes as I want."
[edit] added: unknown
"OOH—I still have orange Tic-Tacs. Barukh haŠem...."