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Gabe: "So in other words, every time something stupid came into your head, you'd have to do it immediately."

Jonathan: [playing with something on the table at a restaurant] "Like me!"

"RMS: poor man's absolute value, rich man's decadent absolute value."

Gabe: "When people tell me they're vegan, I just feel like shoving a steak down their throat."

Derek: "I'm vegan." [opens mouth]

Rabbi Dan: "Turn to page 185. Someone once commented to me that these sidurim are like Choose Your Own Adventure books."

Gabe: "Yeah, open to a random page, and you get inscribed in the book of death."

"Maybe you should implement the medieval system, where if one of the grad students misbehaves, they whip one of the undergrads."

Jonathan: "Why did the French decide to settle Louisiana? What were they thinking, with the bayous and the prehistorical aligator-looking thingies that eat you?"

Gabe: "Well, the French are frogs, right?"

Jonathan: "Well, they eat frogs."

Derek: "Maybe they were looking for Yoda."

"There's some sort of weird issue between the Papuan part and the New Guinea part—you know, local geopolitical stuff."