me: "What happened to that banana?"
my mother: "They missed with the flame thrower they were using to kill the bugs."
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2003 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2004 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2005 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2006 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2007 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2008 |
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
2009 |
me: "What happened to that banana?"
my mother: "They missed with the flame thrower they were using to kill the bugs."
(15:53:42) Sarah: My brain is like a supernova - it's so pretty when it explodes, but so dangerous.
"We have gas and matches. And a device that makes sure we don't create an explosion when we mix the two."
Jonathan: "The Cuyahoga River Fire prompted the Clean Water Act of 1969. Wow, that's an important fire."
Gretchen: "Yeah, it's bad when water catches on fire. It's like ‘maybe we should stop letting our kids swim in the river now…’"
Michael: "‘Hey mommy, I float better over here.’"
"I hate the 4th of July—I'm always afraid someone will burn down my apartment. I have terrible neighbours. Not in my building, but within bottle-rocket distance."
"I thought, ‘Wow, another weird side effect of my cold medicine: olfactory hallucinations.’"
"You can tell it's cold outside when humans start turning off the lights and watching something hot inside glow."
"That's interesting: if you eat spicy food with the back of your mouth, the back part gets burned."
"This is, like, the ultimate incarnation of toast."
Rianna: "What should we do with the bread?"
Jonathan: "Well, we could toast it."
Rianna: "Yeah, that's what I was thinking—that'll make it easier to spread the avocado joy."
(21:33:01) Laura C: i just set my homework assigment sheet on fire.
(21:33:59) Laura C: I have 3 or 4 pages between me and becoming a junior.
(21:34:26) Laura C: But it's actually a lot of work. So in 5 hours, i should be done. But i can't bring myself to do these STUPID ASSIGMENTS so i set it on fire.
(21:35:46) Laura C: Now i think i'll clean out my fridge
"Laura, no fucking fire."
"I smell incense. That incensitive bastard."
Jonathan: "I like how our suite event is, like, Linux."
oberon: "We're all sitting around the TV watching the Linux burn. It's like 5'000 years ago, but with a different word for 'fire'."
Jon: "Next week on shelter-vision, BSD!"
(08:34:57) Laura C: I accidently lit my pencil on fire
(08:35:03) Laura C: And now it won't work.
(08:36:52) [me]: what kind of pencil
(08:37:05) Laura C: mechanical.
(08:37:20) Laura C: I wanted to see what happened if you lit the lead on fire.
(08:37:29) Laura C: except i caught the plastic on fire
(08:37:39) Laura C: and the top part kinda melted off.
(08:38:46) Laura C: And the peice of lead is completley covered in melted plastic.
(08:39:13) Laura C: BUT I CAN STILL WRITE WITH IT!
(08:39:33) [me]: I thought you said it didn't work?
(08:39:51) Laura C: Well, the tip of the piece of lead pokes through the plastic
(08:39:57) Laura C: So i can technically still write with it
(08:40:28) Laura C: But it's not like i can reverse the damage i did. When that peice of lead is through, it'll be completley broken.
(08:47:54) Laura C: this is the coolest pencil EVER
(08:48:56) Laura C: It's now more like an abstract art idea of a pencil
(08:50:30) Laura C: It's all twisted and seperated
[Jonathan continues to add quote to quotes page]
(08:50:51) Laura C: DAMNIT, You're making me seem like an insane crazy pyro who always burns shit at 8 in the morning.
(08:52:00) [me]: well...
(08:52:20) Laura C: shhh
Peter: "Did you know they sell birthday candles at the C-store?"
Jonathan: "Yeah, I think I saw that."
Peter: "... Wanna light some?"
[Peter fiddles with a box of candles he pulled out of pocket]
Jonathan: "It smells again."
oberon: "Of what?"
Jonathan: "Burning."
oberon: "All I smell's the beef."
(01:44:27) оберон: Women are like toasters. You've got to wait for a bit, and then they go ding. And if you keep waiting, you get a fire. And then you get a guy beating you senseless with a chair.
"I'm the kind of guy who would pour acid on my hand to see how fast it burns."