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"My father likes ketchup on knishes. My father also likes ketchup on latkes. But he's a goy." [ view | more ]

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Category: puns

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2019

most quoted re "puns": Jonathan North Washington (25), Tristan Alexander McLeay (9), other (8), professors (6), Niko (4)

other categories found with "puns": language (17), linguistics (17), sadness (9), computers (8), french (6)



Viewing 55 of 1466 Result(s)
[ sort: date / rating, ↓ ]


[link] heard: 18 June 2019
[edit] added: 7 February 2021

"You know what they say—everyone has their own o-pinyin about how to transliterate Chinese."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 December 2014
[edit] added: 28 December 2014

(23:34:45) vigneshv: 140 px :D

(23:34:54) firespeaker: vigneshv: I can think of words longer than that

(23:35:01) firespeaker: I have some 153px words

(23:35:17) sushain: (10:35:00 PM) firespeaker: I have some 153px words <- wait, was that random?

(23:35:30) sushain: or do you actually have a 153px word

(23:35:30) firespeaker: i.e., not a good measure of word-length ;)

(23:35:33) sushain: LOL

(23:35:34) sushain: ok

(23:35:35) vigneshv: ill change

(23:35:40) firespeaker: point made? ;)

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 February 2014
[edit] added: 24 February 2014

Brian: "Do you know why circular reasoning is so fun to make fun of?"

Jonathan: "Why?"

Brian: "Because it's fun to make fun of it."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 July 2013
[edit] added: 30 July 2013

"On the bright side—uhh, inverse pun not intended—the sun has set so it won't be as hot out."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 May 2013
[edit] added: 1 May 2013

(00:15:16) alexr: ... but it's looking like -- and this is kind of interesting -- using an HMM is actually slightly worse than always just taking the most-frequent-translation.

(00:16:04) [jonathan]: HMM?

(00:16:08) alexr: hidden markov model.

(00:16:36) [jonathan]: ah

(00:17:14) [jonathan]: hrm

(00:17:17) alexr: No, hmm.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 15 March 2013
[edit] added: 15 March 2013

(13:11:51) spectie: қ:ғ {а}: ь: {☭}: >: {S}: ы: ь:ь {n}:н ы: __HFST_TWOLC_.#.

(13:12:00) spectie: uh oh, communism in our transducer

(13:17:45) selimcan: Фонологи всех стран, объединяйтесь! :)

Fran and Ilnar commenting about the Kazakh transducer
puns, phonetics, linguistics, programming, kazakh, russian, SSSR, politics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 January 2013
[edit] added: 11 January 2013

"No, no Noğays have ever wanted to sleep with me. To my knowledge."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 September 2012
[edit] added: 25 September 2012

CB: "Niko, are you straight on your paper?"

Niko: "Yeah. But that's the only thing I'm straight on."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 April 2012
[edit] added: 6 April 2012

(00:10:10) selimcan: oh, I have to make a small break and grep some coffee

"you know you've been coding too long when..."
non-nativisms, caffeine, programming, puns, linux, sadness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 March 2012
[edit] added: 18 March 2012

(04:14:07) نىكو: cypriot also has no question particle

(04:14:10) jonathan: oh???

(04:14:18) jonathan: (pun not intended)

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 January 2012
[edit] added: 1 February 2012

я: "Здесь, когда хотим повернуться нет никакого светофора, а раньше, когда хотели просто побыстрее ехать, полно было. Вот закон подлости!"

Илшат: "Да, вот единственный закон который в России работает."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 March 2011
[edit] added: 4 March 2011

Traci: "So yeah, you should submit to the Online Working Papers!"

Elijah: "You see, that has the word ‘work’ in it..."

Aaron A: "We should rename it ‘Relaxing Papers in Linguistics.’"

Traci, Aaron, and Elijah
gradschool, linguistics, puns, sadness, time
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 February 2011
[edit] added: 23 February 2011

"I have problems with gender."

apparently talking about French?
language, french, sexuality, puns
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 December 2010
[edit] added: 11 December 2010

me: "it's completely predictable"

me: "which isn't what most linguists would expect"

Baatar: "or isnt what they would predict"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 November 2010
[edit] added: 1 November 2010

Baatar: "It says here that the republican candidates were going ‘reverse trick-or-treating’."

me: "What does that mean?"

Baatar: "They call it ‘trick-or-campaigning’. But it should be ‘trick and campaigning’."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 October 2010
[edit] added: 4 October 2010

"I don't think I would've gotten in a car with that guy even if I did know his name. That's probably just because the sketch artists made him look extra sketchy."

"...Which is probably why they call them sketch artists."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 0 April 2010
[edit] added: 14 April 2010

Тэмүүжин: "‘Дулаахан’ means ‘slow’, right?"

Everyone: "No."

Тэмүүжин: "‘Дулаан’ then?"

... [everyone pauses]

Тэмүүжин: "I'm getting colder, aren't I?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 January 2010
[edit] added: 25 January 2010

"Yeah, someone's throwing lemon harangue pies at me."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 July 2009
[edit] added: 30 July 2009

(23:26:35) kesuari: "Use boldface for certain forms in Oscan and Umbrian, and to distinguish Gaulish and other forms originally written in the Greek alphabet." i don't suppose you have any idea why?

...

(23:30:58) kesuari: (actually, that's pretty ironic: using bold instead of italics for italic languages like oscan and umbrian)

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 July 2009
[edit] added: 20 July 2009

(01:03:16) kesuari: it's very difficult to say "psycholinguistics" differently from "psycho linguistics", and a lot of people think that's an apt description of me/what i do

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 5 April 2009
[edit] added: 5 April 2009

(16:45:11) cassowary: he was being a prick and thought putting a smiley on would make him not a prick

(16:45:19) [me]: yeah

(16:45:22) [me]: people do that a lot

(16:45:27) [me]: I know people who do that irl

(16:45:46) cassowary: what, they say "you're an idiot colon closing bracket"?

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 March 2009
[edit] added: 11 March 2009

prof. Kara: "Benjamin, what's regressive assimilation?"

...

prof. Kara: "Well, you could say, when the Chinese borrow from the Tibetans, for example."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 December 2008
[edit] added: 16 December 2008

(17:29:30) Michael T: vowels are always plotting against me.. especially ɯ. you never know what ɯ is thinking.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 August 2008
[edit] added: 23 August 2008

"This is a reminder that all electronic devices must be turned off. This includes Blackberries, strawberries, blueberries, and lemon meringue pies."

a flight attendant
puns, technology, badness, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 15 August 2008
[edit] added: 16 August 2008

"I think they're going a little overboard—no pun intended—on this ocean theme."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 24 July 2008
[edit] added: 24 July 2008

(19:13:28) [me]: yeah, they have a lot of quays in canada

(19:13:39) [Tristan]: probably to keep the americans out

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 29 February 2008
[edit] added: 29 February 2008

(17:14:36) [me]: I wonder if Turkish F-type keyboards are related to Turkish F-type prisons

(17:14:49) kesuari: ? i think the F comes from first letter

(17:14:54) [me]: oh

(17:15:07) [me]: what about the prisons?

(17:15:17) kesuari: they probably don't have any keys

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 26 February 2008
[edit] added: 26 February 2008

(22:39:11) [me]: well, we all know the French are chauvinists. They even invented the word.

[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: 2 January 2008
[edit] added: 3 January 2008

Jonathan: "Суп жақсы екен."

Қали: "Суп емес—повор жақсы."

Қали brags about his soup.
food, machoism, kazakh, omnipotence, puns
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 8 December 2007
[edit] added: 8 December 2007

(15:17:35) [me]: you just have to think like me is all, and then you'll understand things like this :-P

(15:17:46) kesuari: yeah

(15:18:06) kesuari: i, on the other hand, got my thinkingways from a more reputable dealer than you, i think

(15:18:14) kesuari: you probably got yours from a kyrgyz bizarre

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 September 2007
[edit] added: 16 October 2007

Баха: "Ты исследователь?"

Jonathan: "Да."

Баха: "Или шпион?"

Jonathan: "Ладно, я шпион."

Баха: "Где ты учился тогда?"

Jonathan: "Назвается ‘Шпионский Институт Америки.’"

Баха: "А! Мы всегда знали!"

Jonathan: "Ты знаешь как сокращается называние этого института? C.I.A.—‘Шпионский Институт Америки.’"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 July 2007
[edit] added: 23 July 2007

"Somehow I think the soda market is more fluid than the music industry."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 6 July 2007
[edit] added: 6 July 2007

Stefan: "Okay everyone, remember, besh barmaq at my place on Friday."

Michael: "More like yigirme besh barmaq."

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 2 July 2007
[edit] added: 3 July 2007

"I can just see Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin sitting down over a glass of Sam Adams."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 26 June 2007
[edit] added: 26 June 2007

(23:53:48) Derek: That's a really well preserved blade

(23:53:53) Derek: for how old it is

(23:56:13) [me]: it's metal.

(23:57:07) Derek: "it's metal" doesn't cut it

(23:57:12) Derek: because iron rusts

(23:57:18) Derek: and steel rusts really fast

(23:57:27) Derek: ha - doesn't cut it

(23:57:29) Derek: I made a funny

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 11 April 2007
[edit] added: 11 April 2007

Jonathan: "Maybe they just think that */p/ turned to /b/ in Germanic. But it only went half way."

Derek: "Yeah, that's how they got þorn."

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 8 March 2007
[edit] added: 8 March 2007

anon1: "Whatever, I don't have a problem with a girl being flirty and hitting me if I say something stupid. It's not like she'd actually beat me."

anon2: "Yeah, you'd just stand up and grab her boob."

anon1: "That's so wrong."

anon2: "Tit for tat."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 16 November 2006
[edit] added: 16 November 2006

(03:17:16) [me]: never heard of æ tensing? ;)

(03:17:55) Qatharsis: D'oh, of course. It's the opposite of q crumbling. ;)

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 27 August 2006
[edit] added: 1 September 2006

1c a song? That explains the pricing of Apple hardware---somewhere in their books, they're confusing dollars and cents!

in an e-mail, upon learning that you can buy CDs of 99 local music videos for about $1 in Kyrgyzstan
money, confusion, technology, computers, SSSR, non-p.c.ness, puns, kyrgyz
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 5 June 2006
[edit] added: 6 June 2006

"Basically, if you can read a double entendre into it, do it. No pun intended."

giving advice for how to read Shakespearean comedy
sex, puns, books, bad-ideas, hormone-driven, euphamisms, language, wisdom
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 June 2006
[edit] added: 2 June 2006

"Greek and Latin show ablaut as well, but not as strongly as Germanic. No pun intended."

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 2 May 2006
[edit] added: 4 May 2006

Jurgen: "You know, some people say I'm hard—I don't think I'm that hard."

Jonathan: "Well, you're flexible."

classmate: "You're the xantham gum of professors."

Avram: "Flexible, but still with integrity."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 27 April 2006
[edit] added: 1 May 2006

"French can be said to be ‘oxytonic.’ Not to be confused with ‘Occitan.’"

[comment] [rate] 1/5


[link] heard: 27 April 2006
[edit] added: 1 May 2006

"In French, we'll find out that it underwent two phases of apocope; I had a student once who said, ‘this sounds like the apocalypse.’"

[comment] [rate] 1/5


[link] heard: 8 February 2006
[edit] added: 8 February 2006

05:28:39 [Tristan]: otherwise it'd just be a co-incidence

05:29:16 [me]: what's a coïncidence?

05:29:27 [Tristan]: when two incidences coincide?

05:29:34 [me]: …

another typical conversation, about the quotes page, ironically enough
irony, coincidence, silliness, puns, language, obviousness, quotes, typical-conversations, quotes, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 8 August 2005
[edit] added: 8 August 2005

[02:51] Aaron B : you should get a cool linguistic alias

[02:51] Aaron B: like, you know how weathermen always just "happen" to have a geological reference in their names?

[02:51] Aaron B: around me we have "johnny mountain"

[02:51] Aaron B: and "dallas storm"

[02:51] Aaron B: you can be like...

[02:51] Aaron B: "jon minimality"

[02:52] Aaron B: or like "Al O. Phone"

[02:52] Aaron B: (short for Albert Optimality Phone)

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 April 2005
[edit] added: 5 April 2005

"The raw act of boy fellating man would not go down well in mainstream America. No pun intended."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 31 January 2005
[edit] added: 31 January 2005

"I smell incense. That incensitive bastard."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 12 December 2004
[edit] added: 12 December 2004

Matt: "Wait, how does nudity get rid of variables?"

oberon: "Because clothes are variable—everyone's always wearing different things."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 September 2004
[edit] added: 26 September 2004

Jonathan: "What's Microsoft encumbered technology?"

oberon: "SOAP. That's why Nat never showers."

Jonathan: "Wait, what? ... Oh."

oberon: "I think chunks of shampoo are owned by Sun."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 November 2003
[edit] added: 23 November 2003

(18:43:06) Mark: There comes a point where you can reduce anything to anything. I mean, reconstructions of reconstructions of reconstructions - they're building a PIE in the sky

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 27 August 2003
[edit] added: 27 August 2003

"Well, Scheme is kinda Tclish."

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 24 August 2003
[edit] added: 24 August 2003

(01:41:03) [me]: my modem doesn't like handshaking

(01:41:18) Kesuari: my cat doesn't either.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 May 2003
[edit] added: 2 May 2003

(18:39:23) Qatharsis: There's a Swiss pen&pencil company called Caran d'Ache.

[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

(16:39:22) [me]: and also, scratch the "isn't sex" part. it is sex, just not full-blown sex. (pun *NOT* intended)

(16:39:36) Qatharsis: LOL

(16:40:11) Qatharsis: Yeah, such unintended puns *suck*, don't they.

(16:40:21) [me]: hehe

(16:40:48) Qatharsis: You had it coming. ;-)

(16:40:54) [me]: oy

[comment] [rate] no rating