firespeaker.org

Я: "Lucky точно так думает: ‘Я королева джунгли!’ деп."

Толгонай: "У родителей точно джунгли."

"But you're not getting [your abstract] done, you're having Washington-family faculty meeting."

Андрей: "А почему свинину не кушаешь?"

я: "Моя мама еврейка, и поэтому у нас такая семейная традиция есть."

Андрей: "А мой дед был Удмурт, и поэтому я все кушаю."

"Мне нравится эта песня потому-что старая. Она моя бабушка."

"Okay, here's one of my stories about moonshine. So I have this uncle named Sam, and he's married to a French woman..."

"It's my wedding, but I didn't plan it. I'll show up at the appointed place and time and say the appointed things. I'm told there will be food."

Жыкы: "Орустарда, ‘семья-мемья’ деген бар."

Jonathan: "Сиздерчи? ‘Үй-бүлө—сүй-бүлө’?"

my mother: "Did you put all your candy in a bag?"

me: "Nah, I just took some wrapping paper and put it all in there."

my mother: "But it's not a bag..."

me: "It's taped together though."

my mother: "But I taped it..."

Jonathan: "I don't like the 373 bus as much as the 66 bus, because instead of dropping you off a block and a half from the house, it drops you off √50 blocks from the house."

Derek: "Uh, I think that's where my mother lives."

me: "How far back is his Cornish ancestry?"

my father: "Five or six generations."

me: "So he's got a lot of other stuff mixed in then?"

my father: "I wouldn't count on it."

me: "How inbred is he?!"

Hannah: "That's how he got that colour hair."

"If we could put the bathroom out in the carport, we wouldʼve done it a long time ago."

Vickie: "I'm a year older than Matt."

Matt: "No you're not, because if you were, we wouldn't both be 21 right now."

Vickie: "Fine, I'm 9 months older than you."

Nat: "That's enough time to make a baby."

Vickie: "Yeah, I could be your mother."

everyone else in room confused.

oberon: "Uhm, that's not ... how ... it works."

"Dem totns gelt. I'd like to get my hands on dem totns gelt, yo?"

"My father likes ketchup on knishes. My father also likes ketchup on latkes. But he's a goy."

"It's like a little thing in the breakfast nook that's in their way and blares at them at newstime."

"My uncle... Well, actually my aunt."

Matt: "People who dislike homosexuals should support gay marriage because everyone knows after you get married, you stop having sex."

Jonathan: "How do you know that?"

Matt: ...

oberon: "Well, we do know your birthday."

Matt: "I do have younger brothers, though."

Ian: "Are your brothers married?"

Matt: "I have two younger brothers and two cats. You do the math."

oberon: "That leaves three days of the week."

Amy: "My grandmother had back surgery today."

Aaron: "Yay!"