Peter, rummaging through the food drawer at work: "Ooh, coffee beans. Those will keep me awake in class. Do you think they're caffeinated?"
me: " ... Probably. I mean, why would Dave have coffee in the office if it weren't caffeinated?"
Peter: "How many do I need?"
me, Adam: [laughter] "Uhm, Peter...."
Peter: [humbled voice] "I'm serious."