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Matt Sachs
Yet another one of the weird people I know. I wish DDR was his primary excuse, but I have a feeling that it runs deeper (and I don't think DDR is any DDRer's primary excuse..). Knows computers, and knows linux inside-out and backwards (think about that one.. yeah.;). Also a linguistics minor.

top categories: sex (17), computers (13), weirdness (11), sadness (10), food (7)

most quoted with: Jonathan North Washington (16), oberon (9), Vickie F (9), Nat Budin (6), Jon Sagotsky (2)

(BETA) Matt Sachs's quotes have been rated 10 times, with an average rating of 3.8/5

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Viewing 43 of 1459 Result(s)
[ sort: date / rating, ↓ ]


[link] heard: 17 May 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

"I had a girlfriend once who had problems with 'l's and 'r's, but the mail-order bride company said that wasn't going to be a problem."

Matt, in response to Jonathan talking about how a one-time girlfriend of his talked a little funny
relationships, language, sketchiness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 May 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

"Go in the stupid bitch, bitch!"

Josh, talking to Matt's printer and a piece of paper
anger, silliness, computers, inappropriateness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 14 April 2005
[edit] added: 14 April 2005

"For you, walking backwards is forward."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 April 2005
[edit] added: 1 April 2005

Matt: "Could we reschedule the conversation about the meaning of life?"

Jonathan: "It's not really about the meaning of life; it's about the driving factors."

Matt: "Could we also reschedule the conversation about the conversation?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 20 March 2005
[edit] added: 20 March 2005

Vickie: "I'm a year older than Matt."

Matt: "No you're not, because if you were, we wouldn't both be 21 right now."

Vickie: "Fine, I'm 9 months older than you."

Nat: "That's enough time to make a baby."

Vickie: "Yeah, I could be your mother."

everyone else in room confused.

oberon: "Uhm, that's not ... how ... it works."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 13 March 2005
[edit] added: 13 March 2005

Jonathan: "That's a lot of rice."

Matt: "Yeah.."

Jonathan: "So I'll put a lot of corn on it."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 March 2005
[edit] added: 2 March 2005

"Four straight hours of Star Trek watching.... I wish that was a euphamism."

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 28 February 2005
[edit] added: 28 February 2005

"I get a lot of complaints about my url being too long."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 February 2005
[edit] added: 23 February 2005

Matt: "Well, I'd rather be able to feed you than put jalapeños in it."

Vickie: "Why?"

Matt: "Because I like you more than I like jalapeños."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 February 2005
[edit] added: 23 February 2005

"I trust a webpage more than I trust myself."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 February 2005
[edit] added: 10 February 2005

"I have to file taxes in like 5 states."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 February 2005
[edit] added: 11 February 2005

"My laptop's drive is never floppy; it's always hard."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 January 2005
[edit] added: 25 January 2005

"Crack is rocks, cocaine is powder."

[Vickie pats Matt's head.]

"What?... One's for rich people and one's for poor people. I have to know which one to buy."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 January 2005
[edit] added: 25 January 2005

Ian: "With slight modifications, the iPod could greatly benefit the blind."

Nat: "With slight modifications, the iPod could be made into a tricorder."

Matt: "With slight modifications, the iPod could be made to be sentient."

Jonathan: "But then how would you know the iPod is sentient and not just the sentience inside?"

Matt: "I'm not allowed to discuss that."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 January 2005
[edit] added: 23 January 2005

Nat: "Reciprocical could be a type of popsicle."

Jonathan: "You mean a `recipopsicle'?"

Vickie: "The popsicle that sucks you?!"

Matt: "Well, it would go numb after a while."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 17 January 2005
[edit] added: 17 January 2005

[discussion about birth control in Kazakhstan]

Jess: "Well, there are always used kvas bottles."

Jonathan [hands Jess a glass bottle]: "Here. You know where to put it. Be my guest."

Ian: "Well, if the condom breaks, you'll know right away."

[Whole room cringes in pain.]

Ian: "Mental note: no glass condoms."

Matt: "Well, there goes my version of Cinderella ."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 December 2004
[edit] added: 12 December 2004

Matt: "Wait, how does nudity get rid of variables?"

oberon: "Because clothes are variable—everyone's always wearing different things."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 December 2004
[edit] added: 6 December 2004

"Okay, well, none of you are 10-page papers, and none of you are due on Monday. Except possibly Vickie."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 December 2004
[edit] added: 6 December 2004

Matt: ".. and I still have a paper to write."

Jonathan: "You're still writing it?"

Matt: "Well, I'm done, but it's not long enough."

Jonathan: "How many pages do you have left?"

Matt: "Four."

Jon: "Matt, is it a 3-5 page paper?"

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 6 December 2004
[edit] added: 6 December 2004

Vickie: "To sleep with Vickie."

Jon: "Uhm."

Vickie: "Yeah, you know, like `to bed with me'."

Matt: "I'm not disagreeing with any of the words you've been saying."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 December 2004
[edit] added: 6 December 2004

"Well, let's just say I'll land my Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria at her Plymouth Rock."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 3 December 2004
[edit] added: 6 December 2004

Jonathan: "I mean, what sort of person founds an all girls school? I guess you have to be a rich guy with weird dreams."

Matt: "Yo."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 November 2004
[edit] added: 18 November 2004

Matt: "We haven't dated, but I have gone on dates with her."

oberon: "You do know how past tense works in English, right?"

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 18 November 2004
[edit] added: 19 November 2004

Jonathan: "Matt, what sorting algorithm are you using?"

Matt: "MattSort."

Jonathan: "That means that if you know the original state of the cards, you can recalculate which cards everyone has."

Matt: "No, because it's O(...look over there!)"

[comment] [rate] 4/5




[link] heard: 15 November 2004
[edit] added: 15 November 2004

Vickie: "Your computer stole my hair!"

Matt: "It loves you too."

oberon: "It just wanted something to remember you by."

Matt: "It wants a lock of your hair to use as its favour in a jousting tournament. Oh, by the way, I told you I entered your computer in a jousting tournament, didn't I?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 November 2004
[edit] added: 12 November 2004

Matt: "Given a perfectly spherical tongue of uniform density..."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 October 2004
[edit] added: 26 October 2004

"No, you don't get it. Domino's is bad pizza for the same reason steak is bad pizza."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 16 October 2004
[edit] added: 15 October 2004

[in a seductive voice]

"You say you like prime numbers? Well.... I've got something that's only divisible by one.. and itself."

Matt to Vickie
sex, math, analogies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 October 2004
[edit] added: 16 October 2004

Nat: "If you keep speaking French, I'll be forced to hit you."

Jonathan: "What's wrong with French?"

Nat: "French sounds like ass."

Matt: "Nat, I don't know what your ass sounds like."

Nat: "I can show you."

Matt: "If it sounds like French, then okay."

Matt, Nat, and Jonathan, originally directed at Viktoriya, who was speaking French
french, weirdness, language, analogies, violence
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 October 2004
[edit] added: 6 October 2004

(01:11:36) Matt S: Lemurs stole my syllabery.

(01:11:42) [me]: ?

(01:11:56) Matt S: They tricked me, they said they just wanted to borrow it, and now they're all, like, "What syllabery?"

(01:12:05) [me]: oh?

(01:12:18) Matt S: Yeah. Well, just wanted to let you know to be on the lookout.

[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: 4 October 2004
[edit] added: 4 October 2004

"Aw man, playing Nintendo games and naming your characters `Cunthead.' That brings me back."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 September 2004
[edit] added: 30 September 2004

oberon: "Yeah, they're not even allowed to talk to eachother. It's not even a debate, it's a joint press conference."

Matt: "That's why the only appropriate way to respond to the political system in this country is to imbibe alcohol."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 September 2004
[edit] added: 30 September 2004

"This chocolate gives me female orgasms."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 September 2004
[edit] added: 30 September 2004

"I don't think I've had enough to drink. I can still type all my passwords."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 September 2004
[edit] added: 26 September 2004

oberon: "In one of those tests linked to on Jon's test page, there's a question that asks 'Do you frequently make references to things that you have heard or read?'"

Matt: "No, most of my conversations are smell-based."

Nat: "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."

oberon, Matt, and Nat, in reference to Jonathan's test page
philosophy, humanity, star-trek, randomness
[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 10 September 2004
[edit] added: 10 September 2004

Jonathan: "This sound card should work right and shouldn't."

Matt: "That's because everyone and his mom has messed with it."

Jonathan: "Yeah, you and Nat."

Matt: "Well, I'm everyone and Nat's his mother."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 April 2004
[edit] added: 13 April 2004

all: "Where's the die?"

Jonathan: "I think it went under Matt's chair."

oberon [to Matt]: "You have a pompom. It's making die-like noises."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 19 March 2004
[edit] added: 19 March 2004

Matt: "People who dislike homosexuals should support gay marriage because everyone knows after you get married, you stop having sex."

Jonathan: "How do you know that?"

Matt: ...

oberon: "Well, we do know your birthday."

Matt: "I do have younger brothers, though."

Ian: "Are your brothers married?"

Matt: "I have two younger brothers and two cats. You do the math."

oberon: "That leaves three days of the week."

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 4 November 2003
[edit] added: 5 November 2003

Matt: "I don't care if the TV is depressed—only if it commits suicide."

oberon: "What if it turns off DDR every 10 minutes and complains that no one loves it?"

Matt: "Well, I do that, but nobody seems to notice."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 October 2003
[edit] added: 20 October 2003

"Have you seen that guy—Matt Sachs? He's such a stud!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 27 August 2003
[edit] added: 27 August 2003

(00:58:16) Matt Sachs: Well, I'm glad to see that there are sufficiently twisted freshmen, so I won't have to be that weird hermit guy who mumbles a lot for my senior year.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 June 2003
[edit] added: 10 June 2003

(23:26:32) matthewg: Fah, real men telnet to the X11 port.

[comment] [rate] no rating