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top categories: sadness (46), linguistics (42), language (37), SSSR (33), weirdness (31)

most quoted with: Jonathan North Washington (51), professors (7), spectie (5), Derek Gulas (4), Joyce (3)

(BETA) other's quotes have been rated 37 times, with an average rating of 3.65/5

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Viewing 220 of 1459 Result(s)
[ sort: date / rating, ↓ ]


[link] heard: 16 May 2017
[edit] added: 16 May 2017

[22:37:24] <selimcan> <firespeaker> need to upgrade my firmware. bbiam

[22:37:34] <selimcan> didn't know firespeaker was a bionic

[22:39:48] <fotonzade> selimcan, they're slowly replacing all americans actually

[22:41:23] <selimcan> ola bilir

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 November 2015
[edit] added: 14 December 2015

"What about the grammars that don't allow it at all? Like ours. ... Like mine."

native intuitions on Turkish syntax
sadness, linguistics, syntax
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 August 2014
[edit] added: 22 August 2014

(03:55:29) taylskid: well they get the girl

(03:55:36) taylskid: so they don't care about the other stuff

(03:55:45) jonorthwash: yeah

(03:55:50) jonorthwash: "get"

(03:56:18) jonorthwash: not in the romance movie sense of the word

(03:56:38) jonorthwash: more like in the horror movie sense of the word

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 August 2014
[edit] added: 22 August 2014

(03:44:57) taylskid: living in a notorious party area definitely has its pros and cons

(03:45:04) taylskid: on one hand, it's loud a lot of the time

(03:45:22) taylskid: on the other hand, you get to watch people make that awkward walk of shame home

(03:45:49) taylskid: tonight I saw a guy throw a punch and fall over, and some girl just puked in the street screaming "get turnt"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 June 2014
[edit] added: 22 June 2014

(20:59:11) spectie: weFFIOJEoiweg;oiejg

(21:06:20) spectie: oijoij

(21:09:23) sushain: er

(21:09:24) sushain: hi spectie

(21:09:27) sushain: are you ok?

(21:21:17) spiegelian: sushain, it's a code, you have to break it

(21:45:07) sushain: spiegelian: hmmm

(21:46:07) sushain: 'weFFIOJEoiweg = went to the bar. oiejg = had some beer. oijoij = going to bed now

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 8 June 2014
[edit] added: 8 June 2014

(16:47:29) spectre: ok, now you have a twol rule

(16:47:34) spectre: that is {A}:a / {A}:e

(16:47:54) spectre: but your twol rule has to combine with this {A}b{A}bbbbbb{A}

(16:47:57) spectre: when does it finish ?

...

(16:51:11) spectre: firespeaker,

(16:51:16) spectre: DON'T TRY AND MENTALLY PROCESS IT

(16:51:26) spectre: YOU WILL GO INTO AN INFINITE LOOP

(16:52:13) fpetkovski: he's gone

(16:52:14) fpetkovski: too late

...

(16:57:07) firespeaker: ^C^C^C^C^C^C^C^C

(16:57:08) firespeaker: phew

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 June 2014
[edit] added: 4 June 2014

Inari: "Wait..."

Fran: "Are we in Finnish?"

Jonathan: "No, we're in English with Finnish pronunciation."

Tommi: "That's the bestest!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 February 2014
[edit] added: 24 February 2014

Brian: "Do you know why circular reasoning is so fun to make fun of?"

Jonathan: "Why?"

Brian: "Because it's fun to make fun of it."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 November 2013
[edit] added: 11 November 2013

[11:42] <tw2113> did you scale it down to just 1 user ID?

[11:42] <jonorthwash> I suppose I could do that

[11:42] <tw2113> via something like phpmyadmin

[11:42] * jonorthwash whips up a query

[11:42] <tw2113> or if you're fancy, sequelpro

[11:42] <jonorthwash> real men telnet to the mysql port

[11:43] <Limp_Trizkit> telnet to the mysql port? psssh. real men open the DB files in a hex editor

[11:43] <myosotis> hex editors are just a crutch for stream editor n00bs

[11:43] <tw2113> i read my mysql databases in binary

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 27 June 2013
[edit] added: 27 June 2013

(18:31:03) jimregan: well, if you own bagpipes, why *wouldn't* you add pyro?

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 May 2013
[edit] added: 4 May 2013

Ed: "Man, I wish they put that stuff in ads now: ‘Look at how we built our product!’ Instead of—"

Damion: "‘Hey look at the pretty women!’"

Ed (AB8UU) and Damion (K9DAJ)
sex, sexism, money
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 15 March 2013
[edit] added: 15 March 2013

Sam: "I'm going to sing a Mongolian song."

[Sam clears throat]

Niko: "That's actually the name of the song."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 March 2013
[edit] added: 12 March 2013

I was a homebody by Austin standards

which has made me social chair by ACES standards

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 February 2013
[edit] added: 1 February 2013

"So Korean dramas are all the rage in lots of countries in Asia. And in China, when they imitate this recurring phrase from the Korean dramas—[Korean...], ‘I love you’—because that's what they do in Korean dramas, they love each other—they repeat it with an affricate."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 February 2013
[edit] added: 1 February 2013

JH: "Well, this was accepted to a major international conference, so it can't be useless."

RS: "Wrong."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 January 2013
[edit] added: 11 January 2013

"I wonder if they make almond-shaped marzipan candy."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 7 January 2013
[edit] added: 7 January 2013

Orgil: "...and I don't get as much of an Anthropology perspective from prof. Atwood and prof. Kara—my advisor, and the other great Mongolist in the—"

other student: "—world."

[comment] [rate] no rating




[link] heard: 24 July 2012
[edit] added: 24 July 2012
Ain't my job to save languages. Talk to the speakers who don't want to use them any more. It's their fault. *points*
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 July 2012
[edit] added: 2 July 2012

you remember what i am talking about? i thought that the song was about michael jackson, but they were just using the future tense ;)

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 March 2012
[edit] added: 21 March 2012

(18:36:18) spectie: macedonian, bulgarian, {serbian, croatian, bosnian, montenegrin}, slovenian, english, ...

(18:36:37) krvoje: hey, our language is not a regex :p

in freenode#apertium
computers, programming, geekiness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 3 March 2012
[edit] added: 4 March 2012

[shows slide with poster]

"I don't have to say much about this poster. You can all see who's handing who the baby."

RK presenting at the ACES conference
russian, ethnocentrism, common-sense, sadness, SSSR, friends
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 January 2012
[edit] added: 1 February 2012

[чаң]

[...]

мин: "Бер генә булдымы? .. Юк, сәгать өч икән! Нигә бер генә ди?"

[чаң]

мин: "Аа, ике икән."

[... чаң]

мин: "Өч. Булды."

Ростәм: "Белмим, чиркәүдә дүрт тә булырга мөмкен."

мин: "Нигә?"

Ростәм: "Чиркәү булса, һәр ничек була"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 January 2012
[edit] added: 1 February 2012

Андрей: "А почему свинину не кушаешь?"

я: "Моя мама еврейка, и поэтому у нас такая семейная традиция есть."

Андрей: "А мой дед был Удмурт, и поэтому я все кушаю."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 January 2012
[edit] added: 25 January 2012

"Если человек не понимает слово, это не проблема перевода - это проблема человека."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 January 2012
[edit] added: 1 February 2012

я: "Здесь, когда хотим повернуться нет никакого светофора, а раньше, когда хотели просто побыстрее ехать, полно было. Вот закон подлости!"

Илшат: "Да, вот единственный закон который в России работает."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 January 2012
[edit] added: 18 January 2012

(00:36:40) crawfora: the "read more" page does actually explain that the use of easily-disabled javascript was deliberate; they want to make it possible for people to access the site in emergencies

(00:36:59) firespeaker: crawfora: hmm, wikipedia for emergencies?

(00:37:06) jarrettwold2: someone on a cell phone looking up medical information

(00:37:07) twb: crawfora: like "oops I stabbed a guy now how do I do first aid... ask wikipedia"

(00:37:15) ***TomyLobo searches "what is the number of 911?"

(00:37:16) jarrettwold2: twb: that's how it is now :)

(00:37:18) crawfora: twb: I'm sure it happens

(00:37:30) firespeaker: uhm

(00:37:36) vry: "what color is blood?!? quickly, open wikipedia"

(00:37:43) firespeaker: and they're going to what, figure out how to disable the javascript?

(00:37:52) firespeaker: on their blackberry

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 January 2012
[edit] added: 11 January 2012

(21:25:55) faggot: We and 200 guys are going to send in you in an inexistance

(21:26:01) faggot: with a special DDOS app

(21:26:10) faggot: except debian.org to be down for hours

(21:26:47) faggot: it begins in a half hour

(21:26:53) faggot: also we`ll take down freenode after that

...

(21:27:23) faggot: we have already lavished the money from the Debian`s paypal account

...

(21:27:33) faggot: it was like 4000$ there

(21:27:35) faggot: poor guys

...

(21:28:38) faggot left the room.

...

(21:29:28) firespeaker: we should DoS him ourselves

(21:29:48) gnarface: he's in romania you'd DoS the whole country

from freenode#debian
SSSR, computers, linux, hyperbole
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 31 October 2011
[edit] added: 31 October 2011

Bus driver: "No one's complimented me today on my bus driver costume."

Guy on bus: "It's very scary, sir."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 31 October 2011
[edit] added: 31 October 2011

(18:42:02) spectie: Flammie, did you get the abstract in on time ?

(18:43:42) Flammie: I did, though it was kindof short and wishywashy

(18:43:52) spectie: you should have seen mine and firespeaker's

(18:44:50) firespeaker: we didn't even read ours

(18:44:52) spectie: yeah

(18:45:11) firespeaker: and I think it just sounds like a bunch of disconnected facts about Kyrgyz morphology

(18:45:19) firespeaker: and phonology

(18:45:33) firespeaker: which is basically what talking to me sounds like I guess

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 July 2011
[edit] added: 24 July 2011

(17:24:59) ragib: in fact, I'm bangladeshi

(17:26:53) zfe: are there still tigers there?

(17:34:52) ragib: yes, the royal bengal tiger :D

(17:37:25) zfe: cool

(17:42:24) zfe: can you privately own one

(17:42:28) zfe: in bangladesh?

...

(17:45:47) ragib: zfe, no i guess

(17:46:16) zfe: :(

(17:46:21) zfe: i wanted to be like scarface

(17:46:23) zfe: in bangladesh

(17:46:24) zfe: my villa

(17:46:27) zfe: my tiger

(17:46:27) ragib: oh

(17:46:29) zfe: my cocaine addict wife

(17:46:31) zfe: :(

(17:46:46) firespeaker: zfe: first you have to join the mafia though

(17:46:57) firespeaker: ... *be* the mafia

(17:46:59) ragib: hm

(17:47:18) zfe: "be" is more proper

(17:47:30) firespeaker: I suspect if you were that rich, you probably could own a tiger

(17:47:47) TinoDidriksen: Legally, only if you build a zoo.

(17:47:50) firespeaker: whatever laws exist could be avoided by payments to the right officials

(17:48:01) firespeaker: TinoDidriksen: I'm not talking legally

(17:48:08) firespeaker: TinoDidriksen: this is Bangladesh we're talking about

(17:48:19) TinoDidriksen: True true

(17:48:23) zfe: well, buying a zoo license

(17:48:30) zfe: is not that expensive probably

(17:48:41) firespeaker: zfe: but there would probably be restrictions associated with it

(17:48:46) firespeaker: like letting people in to see your tiger

(17:48:52) zfe: sure

(17:48:58) zfe: but who told you i will keep the tiger in a cage?

(17:49:14) zfe: food for tiger √

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 15 July 2011
[edit] added: 14 July 2011

(02:11:24) Gekz: You are overcomplexifying irrelevance

(02:11:29) Gekz: so this is what linguistics is

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 April 2011
[edit] added: 17 May 2011

Monolingual people are so paranoid!

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 March 2011
[edit] added: 4 March 2011

Traci: "So yeah, you should submit to the Online Working Papers!"

Elijah: "You see, that has the word ‘work’ in it..."

Aaron A: "We should rename it ‘Relaxing Papers in Linguistics.’"

Traci, Aaron, and Elijah
linguistics, puns, sadness, time
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 February 2011
[edit] added: 10 February 2011

"In Azərbaycan when someone is stupid we call them a Mongol."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 0 April 2010
[edit] added: 14 April 2010

Тэмүүжин: "‘Дулаахан’ means ‘slow’, right?"

Everyone: "No."

Тэмүүжин: "‘Дулаан’ then?"

... [everyone pauses]

Тэмүүжин: "I'm getting colder, aren't I?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 January 2010
[edit] added: 26 January 2010

Чулуун: "Okay, so the second group will just be two lines behind the entire song. Does that make sense?"

[everyone nods]

Чулуун: "Okay, so, first group? Second group?"

[pause while everyone looks around]

Багш: "Баатар!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 December 2009
[edit] added: 6 December 2009

(15:15:10) Өвгөнхүү: it'll b jank, but desperate times call for duct tape snakes

Öwgönxüü needed a snake
ghetto-talk, bad-ideas, geekiness, imagination
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 October 2009
[edit] added: 16 October 2009

"So if you encountered a strange dialect of English on some island where they don't do flapping, ..."

John H.G. Scott
provincialism, linguistics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 September 2009
[edit] added: 26 September 2009

"The letter ‹q› is just hanging around waiting for English to gain uvular stops."

Övgönxüü on spelling reform
phonetics, klingonisms, coolness, linguistics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 20 September 2009
[edit] added: 20 September 2009

"Journal of Germanic Linguistics uses a modified LSA style that requires full first names instead of initials. I mean, there's apparently more than one Suzuki out there writing on Linguistics. If there's more than one Suzuki, think about names like Smith!"

John H.G. Scott
badness, linguistics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 19 July 2009
[edit] added: 19 July 2009

Jonathan: "Yeah, I remember being in the dark about stuff a lot when my Russian and Kazakh weren't very good: ‘Where are we? Why're we here?’"

Tekla: "‘Why's there a sheep boiling in the front yard?’"

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 19 March 2009
[edit] added: 19 March 2009

(03:00:00) Аймона: i was sort of writing this cover letter. i mean, why on earth you would need a cover letter for fin. aid from the person who comes from KG

(03:00:05) Аймона: KG speaks for itself

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 29 January 2009
[edit] added: 29 January 2009

anon: "So is this worse than the topic you didn't bring up?"

Liv: "Nah."

Jonathan: "Yeah, sex goes fine with food."

Lennea: "And sometimes it makes it better!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 August 2008
[edit] added: 23 August 2008

"This is a reminder that all electronic devices must be turned off. This includes Blackberries, strawberries, blueberries, and lemon meringue pies."

a flight attendant
technology, badness, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 July 2008
[edit] added: 24 July 2008

(01:54:44) [me]: (i.e., it's not so much rule-based (=something you can learn))

(01:54:53) [me]: ((...easily))

(01:55:06) Almar: you learnt russian

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 14 July 2008
[edit] added: 14 July 2008

[Чоң шамал келгенде]

"Казанды карма!"

Султан аке
sarcasm, hyperbole, weather, silliness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 May 2008
[edit] added: 10 May 2008

Left-over master's thesis? Those things are like a surgeon's tool that gets left inside the body.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 8 May 2008
[edit] added: 8 May 2008

Тралик: "Түнкү канал эрте көрсөтүлүп калган экен."

мен: "Анткени азыр саат 12ден кийин эч кимде шам жок."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 19 April 2008
[edit] added: 19 April 2008

To celebrate passover, i tried to make bread. Guess what? It didn't rise.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 March 2008
[edit] added: 24 March 2008

me: "What's that called when you express things with sounds?"

Austin: "You mean speaking?"

Jonathan meant interjections, or something, but Austin made an accurate generalisation..
linguistics, language, phonetics, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 March 2008
[edit] added: 19 March 2008

мен: "Таңга чейин чай иче алам."

Тралик: "Давай спор!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 March 2008
[edit] added: 19 March 2008

Тралик: "Чай ичесиңби?"

мен: "Уф, жок, болдум."

Тралик: "Давай, паслений стакан."

мен: "Макул. Элүү грам."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 17 March 2008
[edit] added: 16 March 2008

Жыкы: "Америкада ушундай свободность жок."

Jonathan: "Туура, биз көчөдө пиво ичсек, полиция көрсө, биз сразу качып кетиш керек эле."

Жыкы: "Быякта наоборот, милиция көрсөң, сразу "Ооо!" деген..."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 17 March 2008
[edit] added: 16 March 2008

Жыкы: "Орустарда, ‘семья-мемья’ деген бар."

Jonathan: "Сиздерчи? ‘Үй-бүлө—сүй-бүлө’?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 March 2008
[edit] added: 19 March 2008

Elmira: "Oops, I think I did something to [i.e., spilled something on] your pants."

Soviet: "That's okay, you're the one who's going to wash them [by hand]."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 March 2008
[edit] added: 5 March 2008

[ўзбекча менен кыргызча билген Араб менен сүйлөшкөндө]

Гүлмира: "А казакча билесизби?"

Араб: "Жок."

Гүлмира: "Бирок казакча менен кыргызча почти бир тил."

Араб: "Разница бар!"

Гүлмира: "Ии, кечиресиз. Разница бар десеңиз, сизге ишенем."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 February 2008
[edit] added: 22 February 2008

"‘Stop hugging strange men and sit down.’ … Oh, that's actually what's happening."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 February 2008
[edit] added: 22 February 2008

"It's Friday night and you're writing quotes‽"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 February 2008
[edit] added: 22 February 2008

[band plays rock song]

Natalie: "It's really talking to my heart."

Katy: "The beer?"

Natalie and Katy
music, alcohol
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 20 February 2008
[edit] added: 22 February 2008

Nick: "Actually [ˈgæɹəʤ] is a whole genre of music."

all: "You mean [gɻ̩ˈɑʒ]."

Nick: "It's quite different actually."

Nick being the sole Brit among a crowd of Americans
phonetics, patriotism, germanics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 19 February 2008
[edit] added: 18 February 2008

[телесынык карап жатканда]

Траллик: "Жакшынакай экен."

мен: "Ал ким?"

Траллик: "Билбейм."

мен: "Бирок аты ким?"

Траллик: "Билбейм."

[жазылып туруп койот]

Траллик: "Айтурган экен."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 19 February 2008
[edit] added: 19 February 2008

[MTVде уйду соосу көрсөтүлөт]

мен: "Неге саап жатат?"

Траллик: "Саабаса болбойт."

мен: "Жок, сааганын неге көрсөтөт?"

Траллик: "Просто, реклама, билбейм."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 February 2008
[edit] added: 10 February 2008

Назгүл: "Я хочу взяться за это дело."

мен: "Кандай?"

Назгүл: "Ошол ишти баштайын деп элем."

мен: "А ‘взяться’ деген не?"

Назгүл: "‘Алуу’ деген мааниси берет."

мен: "Бирок кыргызча котормосунда ‘алуу’ деген сөздү айткан жоксуң."

Назгүл: "Я не профессионал."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 January 2008
[edit] added: 30 January 2008

[Пирожки сатып алган киоскта турганда]

Эже: "Пирожки [что-то что-то орусча]?".

Мен: "Кетти, азыр келет."

Эже: "Нет, пирожки [что-то что-то орусча]?"

Мен: "Көрбөй турасызбы? Пирошки бар, ээси азыр келет."

Эже: "Нет, Вы меня не поняли. Пирожки [что-то что-то орусча]?"

Мен: [Жарайт, деп ойлоп атам.] "Түшүнбөдүм. Орус эмесмин."

Эже: "Почему?"

Мен: "Орус эмесмин го."

Эже: "Неге?"

Мен: [ийинимди көтөрөм]

Эже: "Чынында орус эмессизби? Анда сиз кимсиз?"

Мен: "Америкалыкмын."

Эже [өзүнө]: "Мм, орусча билбейт экен."

Мен: "Жок, орусча билем, сиздин айтканыңызды эле түшүнбөдүм."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 January 2008
[edit] added: 3 January 2008

Jonathan: "Суп жақсы екен."

Қали: "Суп емес—повор жақсы."

Қали brags about his soup.
machoism, kazakh, omnipotence, puns
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 December 2007
[edit] added: 24 December 2007

"I think when you hit a human being, that's sub-standard driving."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 December 2007
[edit] added: 24 December 2007

"I hope I'm not this crazy when I'm old."

Lara, referring to Tara
craziness, irony
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 December 2007
[edit] added: 24 December 2007

Jonathan: "In the south, there are these people who stay at Walmart all day and get bored and when you go in they try to socialise with you."

Kimberly: "Wait, aren't those called ‘greeters’?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 December 2007
[edit] added: 24 December 2007

Jonathan: "Well, I mean, if you own land, and the value goes down, that's something you worry about, and you look to the cause."

Mandy: "Yeah, 'cause black people themselves actually make property values go down, just by standing there. Why don't we just shoot them all."

Jonathan: "Well, I'm not disagreeing with you guys—"

everyone: [jaws drop]

Jonathan: "Nono, that's not what I mean!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 17 December 2007
[edit] added: 18 December 2007

"Yeah, it's like a bonus—if you've got hair that's fuzzy or warm, you should get that haircut, you know?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 December 2007
[edit] added: 17 December 2007

Я: "Алло?"

Телефон: "Пойдите на выбор!"

Я: "Но я не могу, я иностранец."

Телефон: "Хозяйка есть у вас? Ей можно сказать."

Я: "Нету хозяйки у меня."

Телефон: "Вообще нет? Тогда пожалуйста, всем скажите."

Я: "Ладно."

trying to solicit my participation in a foreign election, а теперь всем сказал :)
russian, SSSR, annoyingness, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 December 2007
[edit] added: 4 December 2007

"It [the bottle of vodka] is not a microphone. Drink."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 December 2007
[edit] added: 1 December 2007

[a woman cuts ahead in line at store to get a dirty, brown, unappetising-looking root vegetable weighed]

guy at head of line to woman: "Это бесплатно, наверно."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 November 2007
[edit] added: 25 November 2007

Thatcher: "And her father was the largest contractor in Kenya—"

Colin: "He was huge!"

Thatcher: "Yeah, he was like 400lbs."

Colin: [buffs up, effects burly voice] "Want me to build you a shed!?"

Colin messes with Thatcher's story
machoism, misparsings, randomness, provincialism
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 November 2007
[edit] added: 25 November 2007

"You don't know Central Asia if you think eating trumps toasts."

Colin, in reference to a toast during Thanksgiving dinner
food, sadness, SSSR, kyrgyz, patriotism
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 22 November 2007
[edit] added: 25 November 2007

"There's something about mountain people and alcohol—you know, they're not strangers."

James, during a Thanksgiving toast
people, SSSR, anthropology, humanity, kyrgyz, provincialism
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 November 2007
[edit] added: 12 November 2007

me: "Do you know any numbers for a taxi to Karakol?"

all: "Taxi? Take a marshrutka. They're cheap and fast."

me: "Aren't taxis faster?"

Leo: "Yeah, but do you really want to go that fast?"

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 6 November 2007
[edit] added: 6 November 2007

(18:56:03) Altynay: Bishkekte emne kylyp atasin

(18:56:32) [me]: кыргыз тилин жакшылоо үчүн практика кылып жатам

(18:57:14) Altynay: abdan jakshi

(18:57:41) Altynay: sen ushul Bishkekte kalip Kyrgyzdarga Kyrgyzcha sabak beret okshoysun :)

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 November 2007
[edit] added: 1 November 2007

Thatcher: "So what was that half-hour-long toast about?"

Tamunia: "It's about love; it doesn't translate into English."

tear-jerking toasts in Georgia
not-heard-myself, love, SSSR, language
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 October 2007
[edit] added: 23 October 2007

"Кантип жаңгак ача албайсың? Таш бар го?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 October 2007
[edit] added: 23 October 2007

"Well, he just came from America, where people have jobs and have to do stuff, but now he's in Central Asia, where people drink tea."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 October 2007
[edit] added: 23 October 2007

"You see, it's different for you: Kyrgyz and Kazakh girls are actually attractive."

Sarah, on Central Asian guys
kazakh, SSSR, relationships, sex, sadness, insults
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 September 2007
[edit] added: 16 October 2007

Баха: "Ты исследователь?"

Jonathan: "Да."

Баха: "Или шпион?"

Jonathan: "Ладно, я шпион."

Баха: "Где ты учился тогда?"

Jonathan: "Назвается ‘Шпионский Институт Америки.’"

Баха: "А! Мы всегда знали!"

Jonathan: "Ты знаешь как сокращается называние этого института? C.I.A.—‘Шпионский Институт Америки.’"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 19 September 2007
[edit] added: 16 October 2007

[kid cries and points]

mother: "Ты трогал это, что-ли?"

[kid nods and continues to cry]

mother: "Зачем ты трогал это, зачем?!"

[kid cries louder]

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 September 2007
[edit] added: 6 September 2007

my father: "Wait, why's it that much cheaper?"

employee at undisclosed fast-foodery: "I gave you the senior discount. ...Not sayin' there're any seniors around here—I just hooked y'all up."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 August 2007
[edit] added: 22 August 2007

[arrives on plane for connecting flight 5 minutes before scheduled take-off (40 minutes before actual take-off), and finds seat taken]

me: "You're in my seat."

other passenger: "Uh, well, we had to to, uhm—"

flight attendant: "Just sit anywhere."

[other passengers laugh]

I apparently missed some musical chairs…
weirdness, confusion
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 July 2007
[edit] added: 12 July 2007

[English department turns off lights and opens door because it's hot out]

[Confused undergrads misconstrue this to mean they're closed, so English department puts up sign]

Sign reads: "We're open. Come on in!"

Jonathan: "Hey, you ended a sentence with a preposition! Two even!"

Secretary 1: "… Oh no!" [tears down sign]

Jonathan: "Yeah, what'll people think of the English department‽"

Secretary 1: "Yeah, we have to fix that!"

Jonathan: "How're you gonna fix it?"

Secretary 1: "… Uhm… We could maybe leave just one preposition? ‘We're open; come in.’ But no, I guess we need to get rid of both. ‘We're open; come!’"

Jonathan: "Yeah, that might work. Good thing we caught it!"

Secretary 2: "Yeah, they're going to shame me and fire me tomorrow when they find out about this!"

[Jonathan tells Joyce the story]

Joyce: "You shouldn't mess with people like that."

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 4 July 2007
[edit] added: 4 July 2007

Jonathan: "The Cuyahoga River Fire prompted the Clean Water Act of 1969. Wow, that's an important fire."

Gretchen: "Yeah, it's bad when water catches on fire. It's like ‘maybe we should stop letting our kids swim in the river now…’"

Michael: "‘Hey mommy, I float better over here.’"

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 14 June 2007
[edit] added: 17 June 2007

"And you'll be in beautiful downtown Nepal, …"

Michael Goodman, tax advisor to Fulbright scholars
conferences, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 12 June 2007
[edit] added: 17 June 2007

"I apologise for the delays getting off the ground, but it looks like we'll have some head-winds to help us arrive on time."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 June 2007
[edit] added: 2 June 2007

"I'm going to be in the art building tomorrow at noon, with beer, rocks, and paint."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 April 2007
[edit] added: 29 April 2007

[oven beeps]

Gretchen: "Yay, food that isn't peanut butter and jelly!"

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 25 April 2007
[edit] added: 25 April 2007

Joyce: "Now I'm really sorry for referring that woman to the Tlingit wikipedia article. It makes it sound terrifying."

Jonathan: "Why's it terrifying?"

Amy: "Because she's not a linguist, and every ejective possible doesn't sound like a good thing."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 April 2007
[edit] added: 23 April 2007

Derek: "No, Joyce, what you should be saying is ‘[in effeminite voice] atashi.’"

Meghan: "Is that the female you?"

Derek: "No, that's the Hello Kitty me."

Derek, Meghan, and Joyce in one big misunderstanding
language, misunderstandings, sexuality
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 17 April 2007
[edit] added: 17 April 2007

"You're not married, and you haven't got a girlfriend—and you don't watch Star Trek? …Good lord."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 April 2007
[edit] added: 9 April 2007

on phone:

"What do you want me to get you in Montana? A cowboy? I need to get me one of those too."

Michelle, on the way to Montana
sex
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 31 March 2007
[edit] added: 1 April 2007

HS: But how did [G] become [g]? I thought usually the trend is the other way round.

Tristan: There’s no accounting for tastes :)

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 29 March 2007
[edit] added: 30 March 2007

"Hey, look at that red hair, like a Viking. Vikings don't cry, they… pillage."

John tells a 3-year-old not to cry.
pain, hair, badness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 March 2007
[edit] added: 26 March 2007

Jurgen: "So I don't mess it up, how do you pronounce your name?"

Dan: "Dan."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 March 2007
[edit] added: 1 March 2007

"It was funny when Derek had a question, you could tell—it was like watching a puppy. ‘Got a morphology problem boy?’"

Sarah comments on Derek at the review session for our students
linguistics, people, humanity, animals, stupidity, gradschool
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 1 March 2007
[edit] added: 1 March 2007

Jonathan: "Kazakh isn't that hard—I don't know why all the materials that teach it are so bad."

Ardak: "I think it's because the Soviet system made things unnecessarily complicated."

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 18 February 2007
[edit] added: 19 February 2007

Anara: "There's naked girls in these music videos."

[everyone continues playing poker, but half watches for a while]

Jonathan W: "So she's not naked yet."

Anara: "It's Alsu."

Jonathan W: "Oh, she's Tatar. She'll never get naked."

Jonathan C: "That's my experience. Unless you start dropping the blue chips." [tosses in a blue chip, worth the highest value: 100]

Jonathan C relates to Anara's Russian music videos
sex, SSSR, scariness, money, russian
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 17 February 2007
[edit] added: 18 February 2007

"IE 6 is the Netscape 4 of today."

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 2 February 2007
[edit] added: 12 February 2007

Girl at check-out: "You just want the bagel?"

Derek: "Yeah. But I want the stuff inside too. Is that okay?"

Girl at check-out: "Sure."

[comment] [rate] 4.5/5


[link] heard: 29 January 2007
[edit] added: 11 February 2007

"Kazakh is sweet piece of cake comparing to Russian.. Russian is even more harder than English..."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 16 January 2007
[edit] added: 16 January 2007

me: "Huh, if you go to the Jackson School's page, they have this graphic at the top that's a picture of some stream that doesn't look like it's on the UW campus."

Graham [looks at picture]: "Oh yeah, I've seen that place, it's on the other side of Lake Union."

me [reloads page, blinks]: "Hey look, now they have a picture of the Taj Mahal."

Graham: "Yeah, you haven't seen that? It's behind the forestry building."

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 12 January 2007
[edit] added: 13 January 2007

"His father's like ‘Don't fly too close to the sun Icharus.’ And he's like ‘This freakin' rocks! Woohoo!’"

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 12 January 2007
[edit] added: 13 January 2007

Meghan: "People used to throw batteries at me because they thought I was gay."

Julia: "And they thought you needed the batteries why?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 7 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

"We don't just want you to think that we're software designers with no understanding of theoretical linguistics. Then you wouldn't sit next to us in the coffee shop, and that would be bad."

Jason Riggle, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
insults, computers, programming, linguistics, people, conferences, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

Ray: "Most of these people [taking intro to linguistics] won't become majors—"

Mark: "And shouldn't."

Ray Jackendoff and Mark Liberman, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
insults, sadness, college, linguistics, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

Ray: "Phonetics can be a turn off."

Mark: "Depends on how you teach it, Ray."

Ray Jackendoff and Mark Liberman, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
conferences, insults, sadness, college, linguistics, professors, gradschool
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 5 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

"And you're going to think, ‘Oh, the big thing is OT Pragmatics—I should do that.’"

Mark Aronoff, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
weirdness, linguistics, conferences, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

"I myself am a theoretical phonologist, but in the late '80s, my eyes were beginning to glaze over and I was saying ‘I don't care where to hang [lateral].’"

Bruce Hayes, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
linguistics, sadness, wisdom, conferences, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

"Linguistic theory is your friend."

Bruce Hayes, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
wisdom, friends, linguistics, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

"Why do we keep weird strong verbs around for thousands of years?"

Paul Kiparsky, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
wisdom, conferences
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 January 2007
[edit] added: 9 January 2007

"[In phonology,] you can't just say ‘Oh, that's PF.’"

Paul Kiparsky, at the 2007 LSA annual meeting
irony, insults, wisdom, linguistics, tautologies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 December 2006
[edit] added: 9 December 2006

"It's always unfair to the women! Especially in Central Asia.."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 20 November 2006
[edit] added: 21 November 2006

"I like that bus—they're all gettin' on him. Oh, rats, they found me!"

The driver of the 73X bus as it stopped at 42nd and the Ave right behind another 73X bus.
annoyingness, randomness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 October 2006
[edit] added: 24 October 2006

Derek: "Amy, you live in a boat."

Amy: "Yes, I do, and I was kept up last night because it was stormy."

Derek: "Oh, that'd be cool! Did you get sea-sick?"

Derek and Amy, discussing life at sea
coolness, sickness, sleep
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 20 October 2006
[edit] added: 23 October 2006

"I tried to structure this talk so there's something for everyone, but that means there's also something that'll annoy everyone."

Mark Johnson, at the beginning of his MSUW symposium talk
conferences
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 October 2006
[edit] added: 7 October 2006

Rabbi Dan: "Turn to page 185. Someone once commented to me that these sidurim are like Choose Your Own Adventure books."

Gabe: "Yeah, open to a random page, and you get inscribed in the book of death."

in response to Rabbi Dan's comment in Yom Kippur services
books, death
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 7 June 2006
[edit] added: 7 June 2006

(20:41:33) [Rianna]: uhh...what version of the windows virus are you runinng?

(20:42:01) [Laura]: The latest version of AVG.

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 May 2006
[edit] added: 29 May 2006

kid in car: "Hey, I know you!"

Jonathan: "Do you?"

older girl in car: "He's 11."

Jonathan: "Oh, okay."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 May 2006
[edit] added: 29 May 2006

Sharon: "So now there's this book on Iraqi Arabic with MP3s."

Noah: "I'm sure the army's all over that."

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 2 May 2006
[edit] added: 4 May 2006

Avram: "Yeah, it's hard to work on a paper when playing rugby."

Poppy: "Hard to work on a paper a few days after playing rugby too…"

Avram Blum and Poppy Slocum
papers, badness, sports, college, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 2 May 2006
[edit] added: 4 May 2006

Jurgen: "You know, some people say I'm hard—I don't think I'm that hard."

Jonathan: "Well, you're flexible."

classmate: "You're the xantham gum of professors."

Avram: "Flexible, but still with integrity."

Jurgen, Avram Blum, and another classmate
puns, weirdness, science, college, analogies, gradschool
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 28 April 2006
[edit] added: 28 April 2006

"This guy could kick your ass—he's a muscle-bound semanticist."

Jason Kandybowicz in reference to David Schueler
machoism, ghetto-talk, sketchiness, linguistics, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 April 2006
[edit] added: 21 April 2006

"This tastes like melted lollipops."

about Manischewitz
food, bad-ideas, religion, analogies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 April 2006
[edit] added: 9 April 2006

[15:34:45] rory096: wtf is happening?

[15:34:51] Elisson: Somebody set us up the joinflood?

[15:34:59] TonySt: Elisson: yes, and/or the bomb

people in #wikipedia on freenode, while wikipedia was down and hundreds of people were joining and leaving all at the same time, which ended up crashing my irc client a few minutes later
insanity, confusion
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 April 2006
[edit] added: 9 April 2006

[18:51] firespeaker: wikipedia's back up, and OpenBSD is the featured article ;)

[20:43] doiuf: maybe they should switch to openbsd to fix the uptime problem :-P

[20:57] yi: yes, we all know openbsd cures powerfailures ;)

[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 22 February 2006
[edit] added: 22 February 2006

Zoe: "Ребята, можно серьезно спросить?—Извини – ты говоришь по-русски?"

George: "Uh, … Меня зовут George."

[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: 15 February 2006
[edit] added: 15 February 2006

Guy at checkout: "What is that?"

me: "That's a rutabaga."

Guy at checkout: "Uh, how do you spell that?" [fumbles through code guide]

me: "R-U-T-A-B-E-G-A"

Guy at checkout: [finds code and punches it in]

me: "What is this world coming to?"

Guy at checkout: "Well, sir, we have a lot of produce, and I don't know what it all is."

The guy at the checkout at Safeway; and for the record, Safeway does not have a lot of produce.
stupidity, food, obliviousness, incompetence
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 15 February 2006
[edit] added: 18 February 2006

me: "Are people allowed to use cellphones in here?"

help-desk guy: "No, but I'm not going to do anything."

me: "Oh. Well, there's this really annoying girl on her phone at that computer over there."

help-desk guy: "In that case, I will do something."

help-desk person at the library
books, computers, incompetence
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 7 January 2006
[edit] added: 8 January 2005

"Phonology happens."

Mark Aronoff in response to a comment on his presidential address at the 2006 LSA conference
science, wisdom, time-travel, conferences
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 6 January 2006
[edit] added: 12 January 2006

"I'm proudly in the last generation that knows what they said about the Irish. Two-hundred years ago."

a comment made at the 2006 LSA meeting
pride, patriotism, conferences
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 5 January 2006
[edit] added: 12 January 2006

"Speakers can't converge on a common rule because no one knows what anyone else is doing."

Jeff Mielke, in a talk on the English /r/ at the 2006 LSA conference, in reference to the fact that there seem to be 8 or 9 acoustically equivalent production strategies, each with its own allophonic variation.
linguistics, insightfulness, conferences
[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: 13 August 2005
[edit] added: 13 August 2005

Nic: "Me & Kristin hung out and watched the movie Sideways. So we got to spend time together."

Jonathan: "Mm. … Sideways?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 August 2005
[edit] added: 10 August 2005

Leslie: "[In Central Asia], at least as a girl they don't make you drink."

Chay: "Go to Kyrgyzstan."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 August 2005
[edit] added: 6 August 2005

"Now I can use the line later, `What, you've never used a whip on your RA?'"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 August 2005
[edit] added: 6 August 2005

"What you need is groupies who are willing to make out with you randomly, and you're set."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 August 2005
[edit] added: 6 August 2005

"You call it silly string, I call it semen."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 July 2005
[edit] added: 31 July 2005

"Here, I'll recite a Pushkin poem. Say one and I'll repeat it."

[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: 30 July 2005
[edit] added: 31 July 2005

"Spaniards, they are son of the bitch."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 30 July 2005
[edit] added: 31 July 2005

"Everything is a euphamism; you can't really say it; you have to do it."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 July 2005
[edit] added: 25 July 2005

"Measuring an artlang by the number of speakers is like measuring the importance of a painting by the number of postcards sold with its picture on it."

Jan van Steenbergen
analogies, artsiness, wisdom, conlangs
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 21 July 2005
[edit] added: 25 July 2005

"Don't swallow endings, Scott. Otherwise you'll be getting fat."

Zaure, to Scott
kazakh, swseel, food
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 July 2005
[edit] added: 17 July 2005

Jonathan: "Yeah, there's something about you that says Ohio."

Patrick: "Probably me, since I'm always talking about the place."

Patrick
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 13 July 2005
[edit] added: 13 July 2005

"I want my genie to come."

Scott, in response to learning that "my genie comes" means "I'm mad" in Kazakh
weirdness, sex, magic, language, kazakh, inappropriateness, anger
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 July 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

"What kind of listen do you guys music to?"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 July 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

girl: "I'm gonna go downtown."

Shawn: "What's that, some kind of slang?"

some girl, and Shawn
ghetto-talk, swseel
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 July 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

"I had a dorky girlfriend once. We had a lot of sex, though–that wasn't so dorky."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 1 July 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

Kevin: "As far as society is concerned, she's set."

Shawn: "Well, yeah, she's got tits and a vagina."

Kevin: "As do a lot of mammals."

Kevin and Shawn
animals, culture, swseel
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 14 May 2005
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

"Worf, you're a Klingon. What's a little genocide in the name of self defense?"

Garak, on Star Trek DS9 - Broken Link
war, sketchiness, cardassianisms, bad-ideas
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 March 2005
[edit] added: 21 March 2005

"Vickie, what has Brandeis taught you? You have Jesus in your livingroom and Hitler in your heart."

Floria Volynskaya in reference to Viktoriya
non-p.c.ness, religion
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 14 January 2005
[edit] added: 14 January 2005

"Oh, that's not a fur coat, that's an animal!"

while watching the Magic Christian
religion, misunderstandings
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 5 January 2005
[edit] added: 5 January 2005

"Human bonding rituals often involve a great deal of ... talking, and dancing, and crying."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 December 2004
[edit] added: 28 December 2004

"It's like a little thing in the breakfast nook that's in their way and blares at them at newstime."

my Uncle Richard, on my grandparents and their TV set
sadness, scariness, time-travel, technology, analogies
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 11 December 2004
[edit] added: 11 December 2004

"First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns and I speech nothing because I no verbs."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 8 December 2004
[edit] added: 10 December 2004

"I appreciate sound changes—I'm talking about duck lenition!"

Amy Rose Deal
randomness, animals
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 25 November 2004
[edit] added: 25 November 2004

"Hey, do you know how to use Windows?"

Keith Brafford, to Jonathan
computers, evil, linux
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 23 November 2004
[edit] added: 23 November 2004

"Don't confuse your inability to learn the operating system with problems with the operating system itself."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 7 November 2004
[edit] added: 7 November 2004

Picard: "Everything is impossible until it isn't!"

Data: "Yes, sir."

Picard
deepness, power
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 October 2004
[edit] added: 22 October 2004

"You know you're a classics major if you see a door labelled 'Attic Access' and you immediately think 'Dude! A secret portal to Greece!'"

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 8 October 2004
[edit] added: 8 October 2004

"Apparently some people see the glass as half-full, and some see it as a dragon."

John Stewart of the Daily Show, about Bush seeing weapons of mass destruction in Iraq
patriotism, pessimism, D&D
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 October 2004
[edit] added: 4 October 2004

"I'm sorry, you can't buy that here, we don't sell those. You'll have to put it back."

cashier at Java City in reference to a bottle of water someone was carrying, as reported by Josh Rachlin
food, sadness, stupidity, incompetence, not-heard-myself
[comment] [rate] 5/5


[link] heard: 29 September 2004
[edit] added: 29 September 2004

"We have a problem with marijuana in this building, mostly down at that end, but if you know anything about it, please tell me. Even if you're doing it and I don't notice, but you know someone else who is, rat them out."

my CA (Community Advisor)
brandeis, bad-ideas
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 September 2004
[edit] added: 10 September 2004

"Are you TAing any business yet?"

Sarabeth Reingold, to Jonathan
brandeis, school, gradschool
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 4 September 2004
[edit] added: 10 September 2004

Aaron: "So how was Israel?"

Preston: "It was great. I mean, what can I say? I got disillusioned with some things, illusioned with others."

Aaron, and Preston Neal
religion, stupidity
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 August 2004
[edit] added: 4 July 2005

"I think they would fall down on their asses laughing if Jay-Z came out in traditional Kazakh garb and started keepin’ it real with his dombra."

Danielle Ross, in response to the group Bangor
patriotism, music, scariness, kazakh
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 13 July 2004
[edit] added: 13 July 2004

Jonathan: "Это маленький мир."

Руслан: "Это большая деревня."

Руслан Болатбеков
mistranslations, alcohol, russian, SSSR
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 0 June 2004
[edit] added: 13 July 2004

Jonathan: "Database."

Руслан: "Я это не понимаю. Derbes, это пиво."

Руслан Болатбеков
russian, alcohol, computers, technology, phonetics, multilingualisms
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 5 May 2004
[edit] added: 5 May 2004

"Nothing is imposible if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about."

"No, that's what being a magical elf is all about."

some people on futurama
physics, magic
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 27 April 2004
[edit] added: 27 April 2004

yolin(24): damn only fuck i talk and i get misunderstood!!

on FICS (a chess server oberon frequents)
language, games, inappropriateness
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 6 April 2004
[edit] added: 7 April 2004

"Why on this night do we eat .. Shmats or Matzah ..."

Corey Sands, reading the Four Questions
language
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 21 February 2004
[edit] added: 21 February 2004

Anne: "Doves are anything but holy."

Nicholas: "They poo on our windows."

Anne and Nicholas in The Others
religion
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 February 2004
[edit] added: 10 February 2004

"Why do people even sleep with each other? With woman it's like death; it's so scary."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 February 2004
[edit] added: 10 February 2004

Chef: "I don't even know what to put in these things [Calzones]. What veggies do we have?"

Manager: "Bacon."

Usdan. As overheard by oberon
brandeis, sketchiness, incompetence, not-heard-myself
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 28 January 2004
[edit] added: 28 January 2004

"Why does the diet coke here [Usdan] taste different than at Sherman?"

Jojo Lazar worries. As she should.
food, sketchiness, conspiracies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 January 2004
[edit] added: 25 January 2004

Amy: "My grandmother had back surgery today."

Aaron: "Yay!"

Aaron responds inappropriately to Amy Cotton's comment
incompetence, culture, family
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 9 January 2004
[edit] added: 9 January 2004

(22:25:36) Bryan: :-P i need a woman who wants to spread the joy

Bryan Rautenberg
freudian
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 7 December 2003
[edit] added: 4 February 2004

Dan: "...because Becky's ticklish after sex."

Becky: "So are you."

Dan: "Shut up."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 October 2003
[edit] added: 20 October 2003

"Have you seen that guy—Matt Sachs? He's such a stud!"

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 16 September 2003
[edit] added: 16 September 2003

oberon: "So what was in the box?"

Dan: "Goodies."

oberon: "Can I have some goodies?"

Dan: "They're my goodies!"

oberon: "Sharing means caring."

Dan: "But I don't like you."

Dan Miner, a suitemate of oberon's
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 11 September 2003
[edit] added: 20 October 2003

"Jackendoff. That was the link between drinking and Flash in the Night."

someone at bbr... forget who
linguistics, brandeis, weirdness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 August 2003
[edit] added: 22 August 2003

Cinga: Ah. Now I get a java.net:UnknownHostException.

Cinga: There seems to be an Exception for every situation.

Rentantilus: it's like the English language!

[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: 12 August 2003
[edit] added: 19 August 2003

Person behind register at Lowes: "I hear thunder."

My father, a minute later, sarcastically, and in jest: "Well, the rain has to come from somewhere."

[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 31 July 2003
[edit] added: 31 July 2003

"Captain, I'm reading bio signs on the planet. To quote Dr. Frankenstein, `It's alive!`"

T'pol, Star Trek Enterprise, Season 2 Episode 20
weirdness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 31 July 2003
[edit] added: 31 July 2003

[standing by an orange tree trying to get down a good orange]

me: "Ooh, try to get that one up there."

Mahesh: "I'm not a monkey, man."

Mahesh—a friend of Marat's—and me
animals, food
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 July 2003
[edit] added: 26 July 2003

"What if you lose? I'll have to ... socialise with him."

T'pol's great great grand-mother, Star Trek Enterprise, Season 2, Episode 2
vulcanisms
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 26 July 2003
[edit] added: 26 July 2003

Archer: "So, how long was it?"

Malcolm: "I counted 10 seconds."

Archer: "Ten? It was more like 20."

Malcolm: "Respectfully, sir, it was 10."

Archer: "I'm not going to argue with you Malcolm. It was 20. That's an order."

Archer and Malcolm, Star Trek Enterprise Season 2, Episode 3
omnipotence
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 25 July 2003
[edit] added: 26 July 2003

T'pol: "I still don't believe in time travel."

Archer: "The hell you don't."

T'pol & Archer, Star Trek Enterprise Season 2, Episode 1
physics, weirdness, time-travel
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 19 July 2003
[edit] added: 19 July 2003

Nathan: "Take his keys."

Me: "He's walking home."

Nathan: "Take them anyway; he might drive his house into something."

me and Nathan Kuhlman, in reference to Marat
craziness, alcohol, driving
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: 19 July 2003
[edit] added: 19 July 2003

"I just want something that's `I can't believe it doesn't taste like crap.'"

Spencer Alexander, shopping for butter
wisdom
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 18 July 2003
[edit] added: 18 July 2003

"The universe is a spheroid region 705 metres in diametre."

The Enterprise's Computer (Star Trek TNG, season 4, episode 5) in response to the question "What is the nature of the universe?"
physics, weirdness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 July 2003
[edit] added: 10 July 2003

"You're only so good as your last sound byte."

Nigel de Gruchy, in a speech on 05 April 2002
wisdom
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 0 June 2003
[edit] added: 15 June 2003

Fri 13 Jun:

(16:43:15) [me]: this keeps coming up entirely randomly... I'm running gaim 0.64 with rox+waimea as my session+window managers:

** (gaim:1141): CRITICAL **: file prefs.c: line 358 (gaim_prefs_get_bool): assertion `pref != NULL' failed

(17:48:08) [me]: this killed gaim 0.64:

(gaim:1273): GLib-GObject-WARNING **: gvalue.c:86: cannot initialize GValue with type `gpointer', the value has already been initialized as `gpointer'

Sat 14 Jun:

(23:25:07) [me]: you guys really need to fix this:

(gaim:7407): GLib-GObject-WARNING **: gvalue.c:86: cannot initialize GValue with type `gpointer', the value has already been initialized as `gpointer'

(23:25:07) SeanEgn : SLEEPING IN ALL CAPS AGAIN!

Sun 15 Jun:

(07:59:37) SeanEgn: no we don't

(08:02:50) [me]: oh? something I did...?

(08:03:10) [me]: or a gtk2 problem?

(08:03:45) SeanEgn: It's just that we don't really need to do anything

(08:04:04) [me]: oh, true :-P

(08:04:35) [me]: well, I found that 0.64 crashed every 10 mins or so using waimea as a wm, and now with xfwm4 only crashes once every couple hours.

(08:04:43) [me]: so I'm sticking with xfwm4 for now

(08:05:08) [me]: but 0.64 definitely has some issues that should be resolved eventually

(08:05:44) [me]: and as long as you're on the line, I have a question: is there any way to merge multiple instances of the same buddy, like 0.60 did?

(08:06:05) SeanEgn: 0.60 didn't do that

(08:06:09) [me]: it did for me

(08:06:17) SeanEgn: nope, you're wrong

(08:06:20) [me]: I have a cvs version in /opt that I can start up to prove it

(08:06:42) SeanEgn: How does a cvs version prove what 0.60 did?

(08:06:57) [me]: okay, *my* version of 0.60 does

(08:07:11) [me]: I think once you guys merged the edit buddies window and the online buddies window you got rid of that "feature" / "bug"

(08:07:11) SeanEgn: no, no version of 0.60 ever merged buddies

(08:07:15) [me]: mine did

(08:07:29) SeanEgn: No, stop being contrary and wrong.

(08:07:41) [me]: you're the one being contrary and wrong

(08:07:48) [me]: maybe you never saw it do that

(08:07:50) [me]: but it does for me

(08:07:51) SeanEgn: I'm the one who's going to stop talking to you

(08:07:59) [me]: okay, take care then

me, reporting gaim bugs to Sean Egn (a gaim developper) when the problems start to become annoying enough to warrant it.
randomness, computers, stupidity, gaim-pidgin, craziness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 6 May 2003
[edit] added: 6 May 2003

"You don't mess with the boop."

Ayham Bahnassi, in reference to a secret street handshake
weirdness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 27 April 2003
[edit] added: 27 April 2003

"Mumbo, perhaps; jumbo, perhaps not!"

a robot in futurama
tv
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 27 April 2003
[edit] added: 27 April 2003

"I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe."

a robot in futurama
religion, tv
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 24 April 2003
[edit] added: 24 April 2003

"Forget that 'all-for-one' shit. I'm a minority of a minority of a minority and no one supports my ass."

Hooper in Chasing Amy
movies, sexuality, inappropriateness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 April 2003
[edit] added: 22 April 2003

"An image is one thing; a human is another."

Elvis Presley
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 10 March 2003
[edit] added: unknown

(2.5) extreme tabooing in Aboriginal languages (Trask 1996):

a) In 1975 tribe member named Djäyila died, verb djäl- "want" became taboo, was replaced with duktuk- (borrowed from a neighbouring language)

b) In 1950 tribe member named Ngayunya died, pronoun ngayu "I" was tabooed and replaced by nganku; a subsequent death made nganku taboo, and therefore ngayu was revived

Handout in historical linguistics, 10.Mar.2003
linguistics, weirdness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 October 2002
[edit] added: unknown

"And if it says on the [box?], 'Banana from Iceland,' then they need to check it."

Omid Omidvar on C-SPAN
common-sense, politics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 October 2002
[edit] added: unknown

"So BWT means 'Big Weird Things' and if they work, they work tremendously."

Omid Omidvar on C-SPAN
politics
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 October 2002
[edit] added: unknown

"I just think that cutting taxes is being disengenuous."

Gov. Jeb Bush on C-SPAN
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 October 2002
[edit] added: unknown

"And he shouldn't just repudiate the words, but he should repudiate the man."

Gov. Jeb Bush on C-SPAN
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: 22 October 2002
[edit] added: unknown

"I don't think someone who holds those beliefs should be listened to—I think he should be repudiated—and the American Jewish Committee agrees with me."

Gov. Jeb Bush on C-SPAN
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"Don't fight your own battle; let God fight it! When he does, it's clean, it's [complete?], it's total!"

Pat Francis—apparently a big-time televangelist.
religion, scariness, inappropriateness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"Have you ever fought an idea, Picard? It has no weapon to destroy, no body to kill!"

[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."

Chorreographer from Bring It On
wisdom, movies, inappropriateness
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: 19 August 2003

"They are not interested in many things which are interesting. And that's the American way."

Vitaly V. Shevoroshkin, referring to American linguists
politics, linguistics, people, provincialism, patriotism, sadness, indifference, insults
[comment] [rate] 3/5


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"If you want the red-headed smiley, you have to bid right now."

The host at the bachelor auction
hormone-driven
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"Faith is believing what ya know ain't so."

Mark Twain
philosophy, wisdom
[comment] [rate] 4/5


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"How'd we get on the ceiling? Did you pay the gravity bill?"

Stewart and Eddy in Threesome
movies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"You look up. Like, you know, you look like you're up."

some frat guy
stupidity, child-like
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: unknown

"Good morning [spiderplants?]. Have we photosynthesised our breakfast today?"

Mr. Lisbon in Virgin Suicides
weirdness, movies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: 18 April 2003

"Dreams die hard and you hold them in your hand even long after they turn to dust."

Bowen, in Dragonheart
movies
[comment] [rate] no rating


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: 19 August 2003

"Needless to say, a poem in any proto-language translated into one of its decendants after ten or fifteen millennia have passed, will no longer rhyme."

Robert Wright, in his article "Quest for the Mother Tongue", The Atlantic Monthly, April 1991.
language, randomness, obviousness
[comment] [rate] 2/5


[link] heard: unknown
[edit] added: 31 August 2003

"We struggle against all odds to bring new technologies to those who don't understand until eventually they can't imagine life with out it."

[comment] [rate] no rating




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by Jonathan North Washington
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