[Jonathan crops anon's picture for his github profile]
[anon]: "What do you think women will think when they see this?"
Jonathan: "I don't think that's what github's for. ... Like, not all of the internet is for that."
[Jonathan crops anon's picture for his github profile]
[anon]: "What do you think women will think when they see this?"
Jonathan: "I don't think that's what github's for. ... Like, not all of the internet is for that."
"I've gotta remember to type ‘optimality theory’ before I google ‘domination latex’."
(03:55:29) taylskid: well they get the girl
(03:55:36) taylskid: so they don't care about the other stuff
(03:55:45) jonorthwash: yeah
(03:55:50) jonorthwash: "get"
(03:56:18) jonorthwash: not in the romance movie sense of the word
(03:56:38) jonorthwash: more like in the horror movie sense of the word
(03:44:57) taylskid: living in a notorious party area definitely has its pros and cons
(03:45:04) taylskid: on one hand, it's loud a lot of the time
(03:45:22) taylskid: on the other hand, you get to watch people make that awkward walk of shame home
(03:45:49) taylskid: tonight I saw a guy throw a punch and fall over, and some girl just puked in the street screaming "get turnt"
Ed: "Man, I wish they put that stuff in ads now: ‘Look at how we built our product!’ Instead of—"
Damion: "‘Hey look at the pretty women!’"
"No, no Noğays have ever wanted to sleep with me. To my knowledge."
(03:10:38) spectie: i've done it before with a russian girl
(03:10:41) spectie: so i know the principles
(23:37:02) Sarah: Is it bad that I want to take parts of Anne Rice's erotica, copy and paste it into a note on my Facebook, and tag my extremely conservative friends?
anon: "So is this worse than the topic you didn't bring up?"
Jonathan: "Yeah, sex goes fine with food."
Lennea: "And sometimes it makes it better!"
(22:16:04) jonathan: though the ty/vy forms are taking over :\
(22:16:40) jonathan: (hint: ty/vy = Russian)
(22:17:29) [anon]: wow
(22:17:36) jonathan: wow?
(22:17:58) [anon]: russians
(22:18:15) jonathan: russians = wow?
(22:19:40) [anon]: yeah.. . they are so sneaky.. conquering by inserting pronouns into other languages.
(22:21:11) [anon]: though i guess that's probably not all that gets inserted... and languages are probably not the only thing that gets err.. penetrated.. umm.. anyway
"But Vanya from the provinces is just as clueless about that sort of stuff as Timurbek."
(12:27:16) kesuari: so i'm perfectly content to live for, say, a million years and call it a day
(12:27:38) kesuari: hopefully i can contribute enough genetic code to the human race over that time that future generations are still backwards compatible
(12:27:50) kesuari: i've thought about this too much too
(03:58:15) Aladnsane: John, think for a minute. Average male. Prick. Both in attitude, and in thinking organ.
(03:58:29) [me]: true
(03:58:38) [me]: though most guys I know are half decent at least
(03:59:10) Aladnsane: Most guys you know are selected, remember?
(03:59:18) [me]: ?
(03:59:25) Aladnsane: I don't know any stupid people.
(03:59:31) Aladnsane: This isn't because there aren't any.
(03:59:37) Aladnsane: It's because you /can/ choose your friends.
(19:34:54) ***kesuari bags jon all the time, but jon doesn't always notice it
(19:35:12) [me]: no, I just can't tell
(19:35:15) [me]: I notice that something's up
(19:35:19) [me]: and consider that as a possibility
(19:35:25) [me]: but can't always tell if it's the right one
(19:35:37) kesuari: it's like shakespearean comedy, except with insults, not sex
(14:04:28) Michaela: but the central asian/tajik dating trick i learned is that the guys just gradually start attaching pictures of flowers to emails and see how the girl reacts
(18:45:25) kesuari: i never know how to assess girls
(23:13:38) Colum: that friend of mine kept saying that "they are trying. English isn't their first language!" But you don't try it on your merchandise!
(19:22:29) kesuari: i'm probably the wrong person to be giving any sort of relationship advice/commentry i guess :)
(19:22:34) kesuari: or maybe :(
(23:10:36) Jóhann: no thong?
(23:10:39) [me]: no
(23:10:54) [me]: but at the bazaar right next to the cards at one place they had a big pile of women's underwear
(23:11:04) [me]: probably including thongs; I didn't check
(23:11:10) Jóhann: im glad you didnt check
(23:11:42) [me]: why?
(23:13:44) Jóhann: because thats just perfectly normal for a guy who looks straight with red hair to go through a pile of women's underwear in a middle of an unorderly marketplace in Kyrgryzstan...nothing strange about that
(17:54:49) Brenda: a card is better than a red satin thong. i like you. you have class
(17:55:26) [me]: anyway, try giving a Central Asian girl a thong and see what happens
(17:55:40) [me]: actually, I'm not sure what would happen
(17:55:57) Brenda: she would floss with it
(23:33:41) Rianna: You "saw" her? Either you mean, that she says you did, but you don't recall or that you hallucinated her while incredibly drunk, because it's too cold there for mirages
(23:35:21) [me]: no, she says I saw her, but I don't really remember. She certainly saw me
(23:35:49) Rianna: Were you wearing one of your Kyrgyz pimp hats?
(13:54:40) [me]: the music videos are kind of Turkish too
(13:56:52) Michael: are they vaguely thuggish and/or have beautiful women prancing around in revealing outfits and silly visuals?
(13:57:05) [me]: only the silly visuals
(13:57:19) Michael: yeah, turks are into that
(13:57:25) [me]: one has a bunch of girls getting rained on
(13:57:33) Michael: just randomly?
(13:57:37) [me]: mm, no
(13:57:47) Michael: what a concept.
(13:58:00) Michael: so... you guys are just gonna sing like, you know, your concerts right. .
(13:58:45) Michael: and then, right in the middle, bam! rain.. no umbrellas, either.. then.. uh.. that was my only id ea
(13:32:30) Brenda: you check, i call him up to pick me up and drive me places and everytime he is happy to come and everytime he gets lost and i have to give up and catch a bus. like, what is the point of relationships? clearly there can be no love bc such cannot exist in the rotted and twisted hearts of men (no offense; it is a gender thing, not a sex thing, which means you're fine bc you are an individual who creates himself outside of societal presssures and definitions)
(13:32:53) Brenda: and men who have 16 hours hangovers and get lost right when you need them have otherwise no point
(01:08:08) Sarah: I say that I have a halo and they tell me it doesn't count if it's super-glued on.
Tristan: "Yeah, that's why you should ask out who you think you should ask out."
Jonathan: "That's a good policy."
Tristan: "I just need to know some girls."
Jonathan: "It probably doesn't help that you work as a computer programmer."
Tristan: "Yeah, that's half the reason I reckon I should go back to uni and get a masters."
"And she, like, uses the internet for everything it's meant to be used for—except maybe porn, maybe she doesn't use it for that."
"You see, it's different for you: Kyrgyz and Kazakh girls are actually attractive."
"Look at those two fireflies: they're flying close together and blinking. They must be mating! One's green and one's red. Oh. Wait, is that an airplane?"
(20:03:17) [Sarah]: Albert keeps telling me to not drink that much in Poland. I was like,"Poland = VODKA!"
(20:03:31) [me]: yeah
(20:03:36) [me]: but be careful when you do drink
(20:04:11) [me]: people try to take advantage of drunk people
(20:04:30) [Sarah]: Oh they don't want to fuck with me. The Mexicans have tried that.
(20:32:24) [Sarah]: I've started to speak to the Mexicans in Polish and Japanese so they'll leave me alone.
(20:35:27) [Sarah]: Well I have a sign on my forehead that says "EASY PIECE OF ASS! VEN AQUI!"
(20:40:30) [Sarah]: The last time I was in Walmart with a friend, I had a Mexican following me around and he was speaking in English and wouldn't leave me alone so I just started going,"Nie rozumiem. Nihongo ga rozumiesz?"
(20:43:49) [Sarah]: I was like,"What do you want?" "I just want to talk." "Mexicans NEVER want to just talk to me."
(04:02:04) [me]: let's do sheep based on land area now
(04:02:43) [me]: Kazakhstan: 15'217'700 / 2,724,900 km²
(04:03:06) [me]: Kyrgyzstan: 5'264'000 / 199,900 km²
(04:03:11) [me]: oops
(04:03:16) [me]: I think I'm doing humans :-P
(04:03:52) kesuari: unless you're kiwi, that's what I'd expect you to "do"
(04:44:13) [me]: nz has more sheep/km² than china has people
(04:44:20) kesuari: indeed
(04:44:48) kesuari: this is the basis for why the chinese, in general, breed with other chinese; but new zealanders often breed with sheep.
"‘Venus’ and ‘venerial’ are related. Venus is the Goddess of love, and venerial diseases happen when you're looking for love in the wrong places."
Jonathan: "Інің неге келмеді?"
Anara: "Потому-что there is no қыздар."
"You celibate whore! Oh, wait…"
"What do you want me to get you in Montana? A cowboy? I need to get me one of those too."
"How do you say ‘to get dressed’ in Turkish? Well, soymak is ‘to strip’.."
"It was cool, you know? I got intimate with her voice, or something."
anon1: "Whatever, I don't have a problem with a girl being flirty and hitting me if I say something stupid. It's not like she'd actually beat me."
anon2: "Yeah, you'd just stand up and grab her boob."
anon1: "That's so wrong."
anon2: "Tit for tat."
Anara: "There's naked girls in these music videos."
[everyone continues playing poker, but half watches for a while]
Jonathan W: "So she's not naked yet."
Anara: "It's Alsu."
Jonathan W: "Oh, she's Tatar. She'll never get naked."
Jonathan C: "That's my experience. Unless you start dropping the blue chips." [tosses in a blue chip, worth the highest value: 100]
(04:21:50) Derek: somebody took my magical woman attracting kitten and made a Russian postcard out of it?
"Father winter is groping my inner thighs."
Derek: "Look, cheerleaders."
Jonathan: "And they're not wearing their uniforms."
02:30:52 [Rianna]: Like being so into Rocky Horror Picture Show, that you're there all the time and sleeping with multiple cast members at the same time in the same room? :-p
02:31:45 [me]: well, that's not so sketchy for Rocky Horror if you're in the cast
02:31:57 [Rianna]: whoa, yeah, that is pretty weird
Jonathan: "Yeah, it's a couple people taking advantage of one group's suffering to take advantage of another group's generosity to take advantage of another group's money."
Rianna: "It's like one big orgy of screw-overage."
"Basically, if you can read a double entendre into it, do it. No pun intended."
10:45:43 [redacted]: i think se coucher is reflexive for going to bed oneself
10:45:56 [redacted]: but "to bed, as in a woman" is probably not reflexive
10:46:30 [redacted]: (let's put it this way - if you se coucher, as in a woman, by yourself, god just killed a kitten)
Jurgen: "Promiscuity means ‘proximity’ in French."
Jonathan: "It would."
"Do a little evil, do a little monkey, get down tonight."
"Bartending in America is just making a lot of blowjobs and sex on the beach for sorority girls. If you don't have standards and you don't have a fear of venereal diseases, then bartending in America can be a good way to get a lot of blowjobs and sex on the beach from sorority girls. However, I have standards and a fear of venereal diseases."
[00:59] Ryan: It amuses me to see Jesus fish on cars. I always see sideways vagina.
00:57:59 [aladnsane]: egads! you mean.. WIKIPEDIA MIGHT BE WRONG ABOUT THE SEX LIFE OF A STAR TREK STAR?!?!?!?
00:58:06 [aladnsane]: My faith in the resource is dead.
00:58:24 [aladnsane]: /me hands you a towel to mop up the dripping sarcasm
"I should run a seminar: 'I'm ugly and foul-mouthed and I get laid.'"
18:03:03 [anon]: hell, I think I got more action in high school than at brandeis
20:27:37 [me]: btw, your husband seems to bear some uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise
20:28:23 [Amanda]: you think he looks like tom cruise?!
20:28:24 [Amanda]: that's awesome
20:28:28 [Amanda]: i think he looks like a chicken
20:28:32 [Amanda]: ... a cute one tho
20:09:20 [oberon]: You have sun dials because you hope the sun will show up. Without sun, sun dials don't work.
20:09:28 [oberon]: You have universities because you hope 18 year old women will show up.
20:09:31 [oberon]: Same basic argument.
21:08:53 [me]: well, I thought "file has vanished" was an interesting way of informing me of it
21:09:09 [oberon]: Well, as far as rsync was concerned, that's what happened
21:09:20 [oberon]: one minute there's a file, the next minute there's not a file
21:09:43 [me]: yeah
21:09:49 [me]: I suppose that could be called vanishing
21:09:51 [oberon]: Would you prefer "file has committed glorious harikari, and will ride the divine wind to its 70 virgins"?
21:11:07 [me]: heh
21:11:08 [me]: yes
21:11:44 [oberon]: So go edit the rsync source =P
21:11:50 [oberon]: or even the binary
21:11:54 [oberon]: just ask grep...
21:12:21 [me]: nah
21:12:28 [me]: I already don't trust rsync
21:12:31 [oberon]: lol
21:12:32 [me]: not going to screw with its binary
21:17:27 [oberon]: Am I the only one who thinks that 70 number is kinda arbitrary?
21:17:33 [oberon]: I've always sorta wondered about that
21:17:43 [oberon]: I mean, it's not like they're all useful at once
21:18:07 [oberon]: The sort of thing you do with virgins is not something you can do with 70 without engineered infrastructure and supports
21:18:37 [oberon]: Is the next verse of the Qu'aran something about "and you will also receive a house so large, it requires 65 people to keep it clean?"
21:31:26 [oberon]: That's still counting on an awful lot of women to die virgins
21:31:34 [oberon]: And I don't think infant mortality counts here
21:34:05 [oberon]: Maybe 70 is just an average
21:34:09 [oberon]: and it's really determined by annual ratios
21:34:47 [oberon]: so, like, if you have a string of really unsexy years, 'cause the plague hits or the 70s happen or something, you get more virgins, so everyone gets 71.2 or something
21:35:47 [oberon]: So it's more like "I got 70 virgins*" and then in fine print: "*results not typical. Actual results may vary. Consult your doctor before..."
01:33:23 [me]: the commercial right before that one just now was a girl with a perfectly standard my-generation american accent, and I was admiring her very clear vowels. Enough so that I downloaded Praat.
01:34:11 [Tristan]: you're kidding me?
01:36:01 [Tristan]: "check out this girl's formants!"
me: "How far back is his Cornish ancestry?"
my father: "Five or six generations."
me: "So he's got a lot of other stuff mixed in then?"
my father: "I wouldn't count on it."
me: "How inbred is he?!"
Hannah: "That's how he got that colour hair."
Nic: "Me & Kristin hung out and watched the movie Sideways. So we got to spend time together."
Jonathan: "Mm. … Sideways?"
"You call it silly string, I call it semen."
"What you need is groupies who are willing to make out with you randomly, and you're set."
"Now I can use the line later, `What, you've never used a whip on your RA?'"
"I want my genie to come."
"My theory is that she's allergic to joy, so I don't think a boyfriend will do her any good."
Shawn: "He's so gay. He must spend at least 3 hours on his moustache alone in the morning!"
Michaela: "Oh, come on–you know you like girls who do that."
Kevin: "As far as society is concerned, she's set."
Shawn: "Well, yeah, she's got tits and a vagina."
Kevin: "As do a lot of mammals."
"I had a dorky girlfriend once. We had a lot of sex, though–that wasn't so dorky."
"I had a girlfriend once who had problems with 'l's and 'r's, but the mail-order bride company said that wasn't going to be a problem."
"Who wants to play push, fuck, or marry me?"
"Laura, no fucking fire."
"For you, walking backwards is forward."
(23:26:57) Ian: so what was that book that fucking chomsky would be more useful than?
(00:05:16) Jess: fucking chomsky would be more useful than this book
(02:11:04) [me]: aw, but that wasn't helpful :-P
(02:11:10) [me]: neither is that...
(02:11:10) Оберон: Sorry.
(02:11:13) Оберон: Monkey is all I can offer.
"The raw act of boy fellating man would not go down well in mainstream America. No pun intended."
"This is soo cute. This is like middle school on crack."
"It makes me calm every time I take a sip."
Vickie: "I'm a year older than Matt."
Matt: "No you're not, because if you were, we wouldn't both be 21 right now."
Vickie: "Fine, I'm 9 months older than you."
Nat: "That's enough time to make a baby."
Vickie: "Yeah, I could be your mother."
everyone else in room confused.
oberon: "Uhm, that's not ... how ... it works."
"Four straight hours of Star Trek watching.... I wish that was a euphamism."
McIntosh: "Naked mole rats—that sounds like a sitcom!"
Jackendoff: "Not `naked mall rats'?"
McIntosh: "That's pay-per-view."
"I get a lot of complaints about my url being too long."
"It's hard to write porn from the point of view of Plato."
"My laptop's drive is never floppy; it's always hard."
Nat: "Reciprocical could be a type of popsicle."
Jonathan: "You mean a `recipopsicle'?"
Vickie: "The popsicle that sucks you?!"
Matt: "Well, it would go numb after a while."
"Yeah, there's only one chick in software engineering. Unless you count Kolb."
[discussion about birth control in Kazakhstan]
Jess: "Well, there are always used kvas bottles."
Jonathan [hands Jess a glass bottle]: "Here. You know where to put it. Be my guest."
Ian: "Well, if the condom breaks, you'll know right away."
[Whole room cringes in pain.]
Ian: "Mental note: no glass condoms."
Matt: "Well, there goes my version of Cinderella ."
Matt: "Wait, how does nudity get rid of variables?"
oberon: "Because clothes are variable—everyone's always wearing different things."
Jonathan: "What class is this?"
oberon: "Temporal pain, Pustegofuckhimself."
"Well, let's just say I'll land my Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria at her Plymouth Rock."
Vickie: "To sleep with Vickie."
Vickie: "Yeah, you know, like `to bed with me'."
Matt: "I'm not disagreeing with any of the words you've been saying."
Jonathan: "I mean, what sort of person founds an all girls school? I guess you have to be a rich guy with weird dreams."
"Why would I want to be in a commercial? I mean, I could run around naked on the roof of Ziv and say 'Hey, look, I'm that guy in the police logs,' but that also has no appeal."
"That's an expensive relationship. He could find a cheaper one. He just doesn't know how to manage his money."
Matt: "We haven't dated, but I have gone on dates with her."
oberon: "You do know how past tense works in English, right?"
"Yay! Sexual Harrassment."
oberon: "We all have a little bit of 12-year-old girl inside. You're one to talk!"
Vickie: "I beat mine senseless and tie her up and rape her."
oberon: "It's just funny that you have a picture of your boyfriend framed and labelled 'Kitty'. One of them you leave bowls of cream out for. One of them's a cat."
Ian: "No, one them you put bowls of cream out for; the other one puts bowls of cream out for you."
"The throbbing in your heart? It doesn't go there..."
"I'd sleep with President Bush for money. It'd create a huge scandal."
"I think I'm addicted to violence like you're addicted to gay porn."
"Vicke, whoring out your boyfriend for your own amusement is not a good idea."
"Isn't that what freshman do? Drink, sleep around, and move in herds?"
Nat: "If you keep speaking French, I'll be forced to hit you."
Jonathan: "What's wrong with French?"
Nat: "French sounds like ass."
Matt: "Nat, I don't know what your ass sounds like."
Nat: "I can show you."
Matt: "If it sounds like French, then okay."
[in a seductive voice]
"You say you like prime numbers? Well.... I've got something that's only divisible by one.. and itself."
Jon: "I've got a sugary beverage in my pants."
oberon: "Uh, Jon, that's not a beverage."
Jon: "No, more like a protein shake."
followed by oberon confused and grossed out, spending 30 seconds trying to come up with a "shaken, not stirred" joke and failing
"I took off my pants because, like, they were bothering me."
(00:35:54) Оберон: Dude
(00:35:58) Оберон: your dad is making up moon porn
(00:36:01) Оберон: and putting it on his resume
"This chocolate gives me female orgasms."
"There's nothing that starts with chocolate and rum and ends with balls that's not good."
oberon: "Well, this could be typical, and they'll have sex, or she'll kick him in the balls and it'll be really funny."
Vickie: "It's Sex and the City, what do you think?"
oberon: "This could be the city part."
(08:56:24) Kesuari: [German Delikatessen, from pl. of Delikatesse, delicacy, from French délicatesse, from Italian delicatezza, fromdelicato, delicate, dainty, from Latin dlictus, pleasing. See delicate.]
(08:56:53) Kesuari: right country, wrong interepretation
(08:57:18) Kesuari: that word remains me of your server, though.
(08:57:21) Kesuari: a whore.
(08:57:35) Kesuari: been with every language...
"Languages are always playing with themselves."
(19:17:13) Оберон: http://www.goats.com/comix/0104/goats010402.gif
(19:17:37) Оберон: Some might say that's offensive because it depicts a man being reassured by the promise of cookies.
(19:17:49) Оберон: What those people miss is that, without women to reassure us and bring us cookies, men would be hopelessly lost.
"Who has bestiality porn on—Oh, wait, that's a saxophone."
(02:36:12) Оберон: Someone trying to probe my web server for Windows security holes is like someone trying to probe me for female holes
(02:36:36) Оберон: It may not be rape but it still leaves me feeling dirty
Matt: "People who dislike homosexuals should support gay marriage because everyone knows after you get married, you stop having sex."
Jonathan: "How do you know that?"
oberon: "Well, we do know your birthday."
Matt: "I do have younger brothers, though."
Ian: "Are your brothers married?"
Matt: "I have two younger brothers and two cats. You do the math."
oberon: "That leaves three days of the week."
"Insertion is a good warm-up."
(13:46:43) [redacted]: i have so much fucking spanish to do
(13:46:53) [redacted]: where is spanish!? i need to fuck her!
"I bought the coolest book this weekend, and we can play really fun games with it. And it isn't the Kama Sutra."
Jonathan: "Freckles are good."
Jess: "Yeah, they're like little specks of chocolate."
(06:12:40) Оберон: If a woman walked up to you tomorrow and said "I bet you have a wonderful snapple, and I'm absolutely not asexual -- how about you come back to my place and do me?" would you assume she wanted to know the way to Usdan?
(06:12:51) [me]: I might...
(05:22:02) Оберон: I've learned to swim with the weasels somewhat
(05:22:19) Оберон: but trying to figure out what women think is attractive is like trying to build a 7 pointed cube
(05:23:03) Оберон: Weasels should have dorsal fins
(05:23:06) Оберон: it would help my analogies
(15:12:13) Alex: Oh, talking about eating - have you eaten any of your booty yet?
"Why do people even sleep with each other? With woman it's like death; it's so scary."
"I saw much more of her than I wanted to. Her skirt was about 4 inches shorter than, like, 5 inches."
Dr. Cool: "We're going shopping."
Aaron: "Boy shopping?"
Dr. Cool: "Yes."
Aaron: "Hello?" [points at self] "Best buy!"
(03:23:23) Kesuari: (dʒɔnz søːvəz ə hoː)
(03:24:10) Kesuari: (jon's server's a whore)
(03:24:25) Kesuari: making reference the number of people who have webpages on it)
"American Tongues sounds like a porno."
(22:25:36) Bryan: :-P i need a woman who wants to spread the joy
Dan: "...because Becky's ticklish after sex."
Becky: "So are you."
Dan: "Shut up."
"No, Dan. No naked air guitar."
(05:12:05) Aarón: ok, nasty thought
(05:12:13) Aarón: remove thyselves from my brain!
(05:12:23) Aarón: aaaaaand theeeeey;re
(05:12:25) Aarón: still there
(05:12:26) Aarón: dammit!
In reference to "advice" he'd given
(04:52:31) Aarón: (this has been a service of AaronsLoveAdvice.com - you stalk 'em we talk [to] 'em)
Aaron: "This guy on my hall is taking his girlfriend to dinner in Sherman in a tux for her birthday. And this other guy from our hall who plays violin is going to play for them."
Danny & Jonathan, in unison: "Freshmen.."
Ben: "But my girlfriend is here."
Matt: "She's understanding."
Sarah: "Not that understanding."
me: [getting ready to leave a class of Adam's I went to with him] "I can't take another hour of this... How do you guys put up with it?"
Adam: [gestures towards his laptop, types "www.porn.com" at his web browser]
(18:48:17) Aaron: my my... there is ALSO a connection b/w Jess Frisch and freudian/sex
(21:08:48) Оберон: you should link that new quote to the old one
(21:08:51) Оберон: or it's not funny
(21:09:00) [me]: and how do you propose I do that?
(21:09:40) Оберон: ...with this "hypertext markup language" thing which is all the rage nowadays?
(21:10:08) Оберон: see, you use an "anchor tag", and then you give it a "property" called the "href" which...
(21:10:27) Оберон: y'see, Jon, when a mommy webpage and a daddy webpage really love eachother...
(21:10:33) Оберон: ...not sure where that last bit came from
(21:10:38) Оберон: but it seemed appropriate
(21:11:19) Оберон: perhaps because at this point I expect you to know at least as much about HTML as you do about sex
(21:11:24) Оберон: hell, at this point, you should know a lot more
(02:48:11) [me]: the song "ty poterjal" is great. "ty poterjal moi ruki i guby. ty poterjal potomu chto ty glupy"
(02:48:31) оберон(l): you lost my arms and something
(02:48:37) оберон(l): you lost because you're dumb
(02:49:14) [me]: my hands and my lips
(02:49:21) оберон(l): ah
(02:49:32) оберон(l): yes, the two most important parts of a woman *snicker*
(02:49:36) [me]: rofl
(02:49:53) оберон(l): seriously; who comes up with that crap?
(02:50:25) оберон(l): "Oh, but should I live to see another sunrise, even as the sun does bow before your splendor, I would be no richer, for I have bathed in the light of your beauty"
(02:50:28) оберон(l): yadda yadda yadda
(02:50:31) оберон(l): it really does sound like that
(02:50:50) оберон(l): seriously, that's not love
(02:51:00) оберон(l): that's "someone put some bitter crap in my coffee and I think I have the flu"
(01:45:50) оберон: Women are like my broken window shade.
(01:45:58) оберон: You can pull as hard as you want, but it's not going to change anything
(01:46:08) оберон: and the only solution is to jam them between your bed and the wall with a heavy blanket
(01:46:26) оберон: see, I have the gift if stupalogy
(01:46:29) оберон: it's not quite stupid
(01:46:33) оберон: and it's not quite an analogy
(01:46:38) оберон: and people are just so shocked they smile and nod
(01:46:57) оберон: and don't think to question how it is, exactly, that women are like a piece of plastic rolled over a metal bar.
(01:47:16) оберон: if they did, though, I'd calmly explain that it has to do with the sprinsg.
(01:47:18) оберон: springs, even.
(01:47:55) оберон: Life is like a fire alarm: you wish it would just stay nice and quiet but it never does and you always end up all wet.
(01:48:23) оберон: Now in actuality, a fire alarm is a device which goes "BUZZ" and life is a bunch of organic compounds wiggling about. But people buy it anyway
(01:45:30) оберон: Women are like telephones. They ring when you don't want them to, they don't ring when you want them to, and they have a tendency to wake you in the middle of the night.
(01:44:27) оберон: Women are like toasters. You've got to wait for a bit, and then they go ding. And if you keep waiting, you get a fire. And then you get a guy beating you senseless with a chair.
(17:13:06) Qatharsis: Then again, you live in a country where knowing some French make you a Sex God.
(19:49:51) ¡Luz!: got a fortune cookie tonight:
(19:50:16) ¡Luz!: "A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Ouch!"
(01:05:24) оберон - desktop: I code.
(01:05:27) оберон - desktop: Almost constantly.
(01:05:29) оберон - desktop: I code all day at work
(01:05:31) оберон - desktop: I come home
(01:05:35) оберон - desktop: pick up my girlfriend
(01:05:37) оберон - desktop: go to my room
(01:05:39) оберон - desktop: lock the door.
(01:05:42) оберон - desktop: put her on the bed.
(01:05:44) оберон - desktop: and go and code more.
(01:05:49) оберон - desktop: She reads.
(20:09:08) Kathryn: i might not be able to understand it, but i know french when i hear it
(20:09:15) Kathryn: it's like pornography
(22:38:28) [me]: did you get that song?
(22:38:35) [Kathryn]: yes
(22:39:40) [Kathryn]: shit
(22:39:41) [me]: what do you think?
(22:39:46) [Kathryn]: this is a good song
(22:39:55) [me]: =)
(22:40:33) [Kathryn]: Jesus
(22:40:40) [Kathryn]: you know my taste in men and in music
(22:40:43) [Kathryn]: that's creepy
"Who wants to do do it all night with me?"
"Actually AIMI is cheating on Oscar with Oscar. AIMI gives Oscar what Oscar gives her."
(16:39:22) [me]: and also, scratch the "isn't sex" part. it is sex, just not full-blown sex. (pun *NOT* intended)
(16:39:36) Qatharsis: LOL
(16:40:11) Qatharsis: Yeah, such unintended puns *suck*, don't they.
(16:40:21) [me]: hehe
(16:40:48) Qatharsis: You had it coming. ;-)
(16:40:54) [me]: oy
(20:42:57) LunaCamilla: it's a sad state of affairs when you're single b/c you're not geeky enough
"I don't want any balls in my pants."
"Just give it to me orally."
"*I'll* take two of them."
[11:45:21] LunaCamilla: like, it's a porn or something like that
"Wait! Don't fuck things up: I'm so anal!"
"When she got drunk, she was a whorenog, man."
or "When she got drunk, she was a horndog, man."
"The back of my computer is female."
"You two go get ass; I'm doing my work."
[08:44:16] [sn withheld]: maybe if Apple gets their act together with darwinports
[08:44:25] [sn withheld]: so I can get some guaranteed working command line player love
[08:44:33] [sn withheld]: but so far the "love" has all been of the "fuck you" form.
"And you know, your four-year-old comes home and is like 'Mom, can I buy a vibrator?'"
"Dude, they're going to sodomise you with corn on the cob!"
"Obscene has bad connotations. Sexual is just good."
"If you want the red-headed smiley, you have to bid right now."
[11:29:54] LunaCamilla: fuck you and the horse you rode in on
[18:18:48] LunaCamilla: hard core isn't even a verb!
"... and sex is your female."
"Oh, carpet samples.. is that what they call it these days?"
"No! I watch it for plot too! The writers are good because Benjamin Bratt's on!"
"WHOA! If you say, 'Fucking fuck the fucking fuckers,' 'fucking' is used as two different parts of speech!"
[20:48:28] LunaCamilla: it just annoys me that i get more action in other ppl's imaginations than i do in reality