(01:45:50) оберон: Women are like my broken window shade.
(01:45:58) оберон: You can pull as hard as you want, but it's not going to change anything
(01:46:08) оберон: and the only solution is to jam them between your bed and the wall with a heavy blanket
(01:46:26) оберон: see, I have the gift if stupalogy
(01:46:29) оберон: it's not quite stupid
(01:46:33) оберон: and it's not quite an analogy
(01:46:38) оберон: and people are just so shocked they smile and nod
(01:46:57) оберон: and don't think to question how it is, exactly, that women are like a piece of plastic rolled over a metal bar.
(01:47:16) оберон: if they did, though, I'd calmly explain that it has to do with the sprinsg.
(01:47:18) оберон: springs, even.
(01:47:55) оберон: Life is like a fire alarm: you wish it would just stay nice and quiet but it never does and you always end up all wet.
(01:48:23) оберон: Now in actuality, a fire alarm is a device which goes "BUZZ" and life is a bunch of organic compounds wiggling about. But people buy it anyway