firespeaker.org

Matt: "Well, I'd rather be able to feed you than put jalapeños in it."

Vickie: "Why?"

Matt: "Because I like you more than I like jalapeños."

"My laptop's drive is never floppy; it's always hard."

"J'ai почти todo этого фильма."

"I have to file taxes in like 5 states."

"My father likes ketchup on knishes. My father also likes ketchup on latkes. But he's a goy."

Jonathan: "The founders of modern anthropology and modern linguistics were both secular Jews."

Vickie: "The founder of modern psychology was a secular Jew."

Jon: "The founder of Christianity was a secular Jew."

"You know, why do all the buildings on campus have people's names on them? They didn't give that money out of the kindness of their heart. They wanted their name on a god-dammed building."

"Er hot andere fish to fry."

"I smell incense. That incensitive bastard."