firespeaker.org

"I really don't understand people who like opera, and I mean like Klingon opera and Wagner. And yes, I equate those two."

Ian: "With slight modifications, the iPod could greatly benefit the blind."

Nat: "With slight modifications, the iPod could be made into a tricorder."

Matt: "With slight modifications, the iPod could be made to be sentient."

Jonathan: "But then how would you know the iPod is sentient and not just the sentience inside?"

Matt: "I'm not allowed to discuss that."

"Crack is rocks, cocaine is powder."

[Vickie pats Matt's head.]

"What?... One's for rich people and one's for poor people. I have to know which one to buy."

Nat: "Reciprocical could be a type of popsicle."

Jonathan: "You mean a `recipopsicle'?"

Vickie: "The popsicle that sucks you?!"

Matt: "Well, it would go numb after a while."

"Yeah, there's only one chick in software engineering. Unless you count Kolb."

[discussion about birth control in Kazakhstan]

Jess: "Well, there are always used kvas bottles."

Jonathan [hands Jess a glass bottle]: "Here. You know where to put it. Be my guest."

Ian: "Well, if the condom breaks, you'll know right away."

[Whole room cringes in pain.]

Ian: "Mental note: no glass condoms."

Matt: "Well, there goes my version of Cinderella ."

"Oh, that's not a fur coat, that's an animal!"