firespeaker.org

"Are you guys getting me a chancellorship for Hannukah? I want to be chancellor of Germany for Hannukah."

"First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns and I speech nothing because I no verbs."

"I think s'more Schnapps is the best idea ever. Do they make that? Graham cracker liquour?"

"I appreciate sound changes—I'm talking about duck lenition!"

Jonathan: "What class is this?"

oberon: "Temporal pain, Pustegofuckhimself."

oberon: [whistles beginning of The Good, The Bad, The Ugly theme]

Jon: [walking away, completes the theme with "wahn wahn wahn"]

"Well, let's just say I'll land my Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria at her Plymouth Rock."

Vickie: "To sleep with Vickie."

Jon: "Uhm."

Vickie: "Yeah, you know, like `to bed with me'."

Matt: "I'm not disagreeing with any of the words you've been saying."

Matt: ".. and I still have a paper to write."

Jonathan: "You're still writing it?"

Matt: "Well, I'm done, but it's not long enough."

Jonathan: "How many pages do you have left?"

Matt: "Four."

Jon: "Matt, is it a 3-5 page paper?"

"Okay, well, none of you are 10-page papers, and none of you are due on Monday. Except possibly Vickie."