firespeaker.org

(02:53:13) оберон(l): I own most of your recent quotes page

(02:53:27) оберон(l): I'm like some weird expansionist empire

(02:53:50) оберон(l): with an army of contextlessness and a desire solely for territory

(02:53:54) оберон(l): or possibly not.

(02:53:58) оберон(l): not at all, really.

(02:54:05) оберон(l): But I like the phrase "army of contextlessness"

(02:48:11) [me]: the song "ty poterjal" is great. "ty poterjal moi ruki i guby. ty poterjal potomu chto ty glupy"

(02:48:31) оберон(l): you lost my arms and something

(02:48:37) оберон(l): you lost because you're dumb

(02:49:14) [me]: my hands and my lips

(02:49:21) оберон(l): ah

(02:49:32) оберон(l): yes, the two most important parts of a woman *snicker*

(02:49:36) [me]: rofl

(02:49:53) оберон(l): seriously; who comes up with that crap?

(02:50:25) оберон(l): "Oh, but should I live to see another sunrise, even as the sun does bow before your splendor, I would be no richer, for I have bathed in the light of your beauty"

(02:50:28) оберон(l): yadda yadda yadda

(02:50:31) оберон(l): it really does sound like that

(02:50:50) оберон(l): seriously, that's not love

(02:51:00) оберон(l): that's "someone put some bitter crap in my coffee and I think I have the flu"

(01:45:50) оберон: Women are like my broken window shade.

(01:45:58) оберон: You can pull as hard as you want, but it's not going to change anything

(01:46:08) оберон: and the only solution is to jam them between your bed and the wall with a heavy blanket

(01:46:26) оберон: see, I have the gift if stupalogy

(01:46:29) оберон: it's not quite stupid

(01:46:33) оберон: and it's not quite an analogy

(01:46:38) оберон: and people are just so shocked they smile and nod

(01:46:57) оберон: and don't think to question how it is, exactly, that women are like a piece of plastic rolled over a metal bar.

(01:47:16) оберон: if they did, though, I'd calmly explain that it has to do with the sprinsg.

(01:47:18) оберон: springs, even.

(01:47:55) оберон: Life is like a fire alarm: you wish it would just stay nice and quiet but it never does and you always end up all wet.

(01:48:23) оберон: Now in actuality, a fire alarm is a device which goes "BUZZ" and life is a bunch of organic compounds wiggling about. But people buy it anyway

(01:45:30) оберон: Women are like telephones. They ring when you don't want them to, they don't ring when you want them to, and they have a tendency to wake you in the middle of the night.

(01:44:27) оберон: Women are like toasters. You've got to wait for a bit, and then they go ding. And if you keep waiting, you get a fire. And then you get a guy beating you senseless with a chair.