firespeaker.org

"And now that I don't get stoned anymore, I do my dishes every day!"

"For this speaker, odds are he's never going to reach 500Hz, unless he's getting run over by something."

Derek: "Amy, you live in a boat."

Amy: "Yes, I do, and I was kept up last night because it was stormy."

Derek: "Oh, that'd be cool! Did you get sea-sick?"

"RMS: poor man's absolute value, rich man's decadent absolute value."

"I tried to structure this talk so there's something for everyone, but that means there's also something that'll annoy everyone."

"Women are like the eternal food source. They make things like beverages, and meats."

Richard: "They did a spelling reform and got rid of all those extra circonflexes."

Jonathan: "Really? Did it apply to Canadian French?"

Richard: "Nothing applies to Canadian French."

"Why is it that the Kazakh flag strikes me as Romulan somehow?"

"That's interesting: if you eat spicy food with the back of your mouth, the back part gets burned."

[Derek feeds squirrel bread]

Jonathan: "Hey, Derek, gonna get tested for rabies?"

Derek: "Yeah, I guess I should—I wouldn't want to infect the squirrels."