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[TV blares in another apartment]

Rianna: "Wow, someone's TV is up later than we are."

[me]: "Maybe someone is actually up later than us."

Rianna: "Or maybe someone is up way earlier than us."

Derek: "Look, cheerleaders."

Jonathan: "And they're not wearing their uniforms."

...

"Okay, be careful when you're going to the bathroom, cause we don't want toilet paper falling in the toilet."

Gabe: "When people tell me they're vegan, I just feel like shoving a steak down their throat."

Derek: "I'm vegan." [opens mouth]

Rabbi Dan: "Turn to page 185. Someone once commented to me that these sidurim are like Choose Your Own Adventure books."

Gabe: "Yeah, open to a random page, and you get inscribed in the book of death."

"That's like pulling an assault rifle on a horde of bunnies! A horde of bunnies in a cage!"

Derek: "Agh!"

Rianna: "What's wrong with your spine?"

Derek: "It's made out of bones!"

"...and some students might actually understand it, but in such a convoluted way that they just end up confusing the other students they're trying to explain it to."

"Most of the students just want to learn what's going to be on the test, get their grade, and then they want to move on to finance, or business, or biology—you know, whatever isn't linguistics."

"When you are forced to read books for school, other pastimes besides reading become that much more appealing."