firespeaker.org

"No, I'm fine with vegetarians—they can eat anything they want—I just want more cow."

"Actually, I think Cuba's biggest export is Floridians."

Jon: "Who left the iced tea pitcher with 2 shots in it?"

Vickie: "Wait, you don't measure iced tea in shots."

Nat & Jonathan simultaneously: "Jon measures everything in shots."

"They blasted Dragostea Din Tei on all the Israeli busses. I thought to myself, `No wonder the palestinians want to blow those things up.'"

"I don't think I've had enough to drink. I can still type all my passwords."

"This chocolate gives me female orgasms."

Vickie: "Yes, you can change positions. Refusing to change your positions just means your pig-headed and stubborn and stupid."

Jonathan: "That makes me sad."

[anon]: "Drink up, Jonathan. That's the leader of the `free world'."

oberon: "Yeah, they're not even allowed to talk to eachother. It's not even a debate, it's a joint press conference."

Matt: "That's why the only appropriate way to respond to the political system in this country is to imbibe alcohol."

"There's nothing that starts with chocolate and rum and ends with balls that's not good."

"We have a problem with marijuana in this building, mostly down at that end, but if you know anything about it, please tell me. Even if you're doing it and I don't notice, but you know someone else who is, rat them out."