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"But in America, there are lots of—how do you call them?—homosexuals."

"No, you see, it doesn't work that way—it's dark half the year, so you commit suicide, and the other half of the year, it's light, and you're dead."

"It was cool, you know? I got intimate with her voice, or something."

"Unfortunately, all my finals [for grading] for [anonymous class] look good so far."

anon1: "Whatever, I don't have a problem with a girl being flirty and hitting me if I say something stupid. It's not like she'd actually beat me."

anon2: "Yeah, you'd just stand up and grab her boob."

anon1: "That's so wrong."

anon2: "Tit for tat."

"I did have the dishes washed..."

Derek: "Blood sucks."

Jonathan: "Then it'd be a vampire, but blood can't be a vampire—then it'd be cannibalistic."

Jonathan: "Kazakh isn't that hard—I don't know why all the materials that teach it are so bad."

Ardak: "I think it's because the Soviet system made things unnecessarily complicated."

"It was funny when Derek had a question, you could tell—it was like watching a puppy. ‘Got a morphology problem boy?’"

"Okay, look dude: one thigh, two thigh, butt, back."