firespeaker.org

[oven beeps]

Gretchen: "Yay, food that isn't peanut butter and jelly!"

Jonathan: "Look at all the different kinds of mould in there! There's white ones, black ones, grey ones, and green ones."

Derek: "And they're all living in harmony."

Derek: "Something about the word ‘Kyrgyz’ sounds agressive."

Jonathan: "What about [qr̩ˈʀz̩] sounds agressive?"

Joyce: "Now I'm really sorry for referring that woman to the Tlingit wikipedia article. It makes it sound terrifying."

Jonathan: "Why's it terrifying?"

Amy: "Because she's not a linguist, and every ejective possible doesn't sound like a good thing."

"You celibate whore! Oh, wait…"

Derek: "No, Joyce, what you should be saying is ‘[in effeminite voice] atashi.’"

Meghan: "Is that the female you?"

Derek: "No, that's the Hello Kitty me."

"I'm not like you. I got all these vowels from my parents… and some consonants from these Klingons."

"Do not put your baby in front of my car."