firespeaker.org

"Asian food is like Cajun food, but without the /k/.... Using that fact you can derive the taste of /k/."

Jonathan: "It smells again."

oberon: "Of what?"

Jonathan: "Burning."

oberon: "All I smell's the beef."

"Why do people even sleep with each other? With woman it's like death; it's so scary."

Chef: "I don't even know what to put in these things [Calzones]. What veggies do we have?"

Manager: "Bacon."

"My mouth is tingling funny. As long as it doesn't go bang I'm fine."

"I'm saying i ~ ɪ; you're hearing the airhead."

"That's why Aramark doesn't need a hazardous waste disposal license. They can just make things like that."

"I saw much more of her than I wanted to. Her skirt was about 4 inches shorter than, like, 5 inches."

Dan: "...because Becky's ticklish after sex."

Becky: "So are you."

Dan: "Shut up."

"No, Dan. No naked air guitar."