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"Maybe you should implement the medieval system, where if one of the grad students misbehaves, they whip one of the undergrads."

Gabe: "So in other words, every time something stupid came into your head, you'd have to do it immediately."

Jonathan: [playing with something on the table at a restaurant] "Like me!"

Gabe: "When people tell me they're vegan, I just feel like shoving a steak down their throat."

Derek: "I'm vegan." [opens mouth]

Jonathan: "Why did the French decide to settle Louisiana? What were they thinking, with the bayous and the prehistorical aligator-looking thingies that eat you?"

Gabe: "Well, the French are frogs, right?"

Jonathan: "Well, they eat frogs."

Derek: "Maybe they were looking for Yoda."

"There's some sort of weird issue between the Papuan part and the New Guinea part—you know, local geopolitical stuff."

Rabbi Dan: "Turn to page 185. Someone once commented to me that these sidurim are like Choose Your Own Adventure books."

Gabe: "Yeah, open to a random page, and you get inscribed in the book of death."

"RMS: poor man's absolute value, rich man's decadent absolute value."