"Hey guys, this just in on the Wouldn't've happened under Gore channel: . . . ."
Quotes
Interesting things said in my presence
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"Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."
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"Good morning [spiderplants?]. Have we photosynthesised our breakfast today?"
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"I'm Turkish; I can eat as many fortune cookies and get as many fortunes as I want."
immediately after opening his third fortune cookie in 5 minutes (the first fortune he ate with the cookie claiming that's how they're eaten in China, (and then Turkey when we told him no), and the second fell out of the cookie when he dropped it on the floor. The third came out fine.)
culture, stupidity, food, turkisms
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"Broccoli is a tool of the devil. It looks like a green brain."
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"Yeah, I'm at Brandeis—what's this place called?"
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"Did you just say 'Robo Williams'?"
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"'Shoelock, shoelock' -- when me and my friends used to pretend we were black and we didn't know any of the slang, we used to make up our own."
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"Tongue in cheek—that sounds like such a Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie."
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"I'm the one who's sleep deprived. Why are *you* delusional?"
