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"Don't confuse your inability to learn the operating system with problems with the operating system itself."

"And they had this story about these two bozos—what were their names? Remus and Vulcan?"

"Why would I want to be in a commercial? I mean, I could run around naked on the roof of Ziv and say 'Hey, look, I'm that guy in the police logs,' but that also has no appeal."

"That's an expensive relationship. He could find a cheaper one. He just doesn't know how to manage his money."

Jonathan: "If the flour turns into pie crust, then how do those kids in plays deal with getting it out of their hair?"

Nat: "They don't put flour in their hair—they put shoe polish or baby powder in their hair."

Jon: "Or Kool-Aid."

Vickie: "What country's flag is this?"

Jonathan: "Guess."

Vickie: "Mexico?"

Jonathan: "Uh, no..."

Vickie: "Spain?"

Jonathan: "Noo.."

Vickie: "Africa?"

Jonathan: "Uh, Vickie..?"

"Mostly because I had an overactive imagination. And my little sister was very stupid. Or, you know, little."

"How come in the Windows installer my mouse doesn't work, and then when I put the CD in the other drive and reboot, it does?"

"Yeah, value judgements ... bad."