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"There's nothing that starts with chocolate and rum and ends with balls that's not good."

"We have a problem with marijuana in this building, mostly down at that end, but if you know anything about it, please tell me. Even if you're doing it and I don't notice, but you know someone else who is, rat them out."

oberon: "Well, this could be typical, and they'll have sex, or she'll kick him in the balls and it'll be really funny."

Vickie: "It's Sex and the City, what do you think?"

oberon: "This could be the city part."

Jon: "Ooh, we could so make a white Russian."

Jonathan: "With cranberry vodka?"

Vickie: "That would be a gay white Russian. It'd be a rainbow Russian."

"So I was behind Ziv commons carrying all the archery stuff waiting for people to come for archery, and along comes an angry mob of hundreds of people carrying signs saying `Ban the assault rifles!' and they saw me. And I was scared, but I should've been all like `Yeah, down with the assault rifles!' Then I'd be in charge."

Jonathan: "Well, emacs has its advantages..."

Aaron: "Yeah, like it's an operating system. I'd rather use emacs as my OS than Windows."

"I was flipping channels and it said `in Chicago it's partly cloudy; no delays are expected at O'Hare,' but I read it as `O'Hare is partly destroyed.' Then I flipped back to that channel—"wait, that's not a normal forecast.""

oberon: "In one of those tests linked to on Jon's test page, there's a question that asks 'Do you frequently make references to things that you have heard or read?'"

Matt: "No, most of my conversations are smell-based."

Nat: "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."

Jonathan: "What's Microsoft encumbered technology?"

oberon: "SOAP. That's why Nat never showers."

Jonathan: "Wait, what? ... Oh."

oberon: "I think chunks of shampoo are owned by Sun."

oberon wanted to try a brandy-filled chocolate

Greer: "Sorry, you don't get that kind because there's only one left."

Jonathan: "You can have my half if you want."

oberon: "That's okay, a vodka and a lawyer are enough for me."