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"You know those circus freak shows where there are people who can fit inside tennis rackets and shit? It'd be cool if you had like a guy who could fit inside a tennis racket dressed up just like Hitler. And then you have a Mussolini tennish racket guy and another one for Emperor Hirohito. And then you have these giants like eight feet tall with four arms each. And they're all dressed up like Churchill, Stalin, and Roosevelt. And they look like Vishnu. So, you know, you have this Hitler Oompaloompa and this Stalin Vishnu."

"That's the white trash thing to do to chocolate."

"Define democracy, and then shove it up Bush's ass—that's what you should do."

"Ow. That was G-d getting back at me for saying 'stupid asshole Christian'."

"It blows fat-tailed sheeps—purple fat-tailed sheeps!"

"Come on, nobody cares about the Ukraine—they just have nuclear melt-downs and become the butt of jokes"

"Not only does it suck, but it sucks in a foreign language."

"This is worse than like F-type Turkish prisons."

"Actually AIMI is cheating on Oscar with Oscar. AIMI gives Oscar what Oscar gives her."

"I sing about nothing like nobody else."