firespeaker.org

20:09:20 [oberon]: You have sun dials because you hope the sun will show up. Without sun, sun dials don't work.

20:09:28 [oberon]: You have universities because you hope 18 year old women will show up.

20:09:31 [oberon]: Same basic argument.

21:08:53 [me]: well, I thought "file has vanished" was an interesting way of informing me of it

21:09:09 [oberon]: Well, as far as rsync was concerned, that's what happened

21:09:20 [oberon]: one minute there's a file, the next minute there's not a file

21:09:43 [me]: yeah

21:09:49 [me]: I suppose that could be called vanishing

21:09:51 [oberon]: Would you prefer "file has committed glorious harikari, and will ride the divine wind to its 70 virgins"?

21:11:07 [me]: heh

21:11:08 [me]: yes

21:11:44 [oberon]: So go edit the rsync source =P

21:11:50 [oberon]: or even the binary

21:11:54 [oberon]: just ask grep...

21:12:21 [me]: nah

21:12:28 [me]: I already don't trust rsync

21:12:31 [oberon]: lol

21:12:32 [me]: not going to screw with its binary

21:17:27 [oberon]: Am I the only one who thinks that 70 number is kinda arbitrary?

21:17:33 [oberon]: I've always sorta wondered about that

21:17:43 [oberon]: I mean, it's not like they're all useful at once

21:18:07 [oberon]: The sort of thing you do with virgins is not something you can do with 70 without engineered infrastructure and supports

21:18:37 [oberon]: Is the next verse of the Qu'aran something about "and you will also receive a house so large, it requires 65 people to keep it clean?"

…

21:31:26 [oberon]: That's still counting on an awful lot of women to die virgins

21:31:34 [oberon]: And I don't think infant mortality counts here

21:34:05 [oberon]: Maybe 70 is just an average

21:34:09 [oberon]: and it's really determined by annual ratios

21:34:47 [oberon]: so, like, if you have a string of really unsexy years, 'cause the plague hits or the 70s happen or something, you get more virgins, so everyone gets 71.2 or something

21:35:47 [oberon]: So it's more like "I got 70 virgins*" and then in fine print: "*results not typical. Actual results may vary. Consult your doctor before..."

01:33:23 [me]: the commercial right before that one just now was a girl with a perfectly standard my-generation american accent, and I was admiring her very clear vowels. Enough so that I downloaded Praat.

01:34:11 [Tristan]: you're kidding me?

01:36:01 [Tristan]: "check out this girl's formants!"

(02:48:11) [me]: the song "ty poterjal" is great. "ty poterjal moi ruki i guby. ty poterjal potomu chto ty glupy"

(02:48:31) оберон(l): you lost my arms and something

(02:48:37) оберон(l): you lost because you're dumb

(02:49:14) [me]: my hands and my lips

(02:49:21) оберон(l): ah

(02:49:32) оберон(l): yes, the two most important parts of a woman *snicker*

(02:49:36) [me]: rofl

(02:49:53) оберон(l): seriously; who comes up with that crap?

(02:50:25) оберон(l): "Oh, but should I live to see another sunrise, even as the sun does bow before your splendor, I would be no richer, for I have bathed in the light of your beauty"

(02:50:28) оберон(l): yadda yadda yadda

(02:50:31) оберон(l): it really does sound like that

(02:50:50) оберон(l): seriously, that's not love

(02:51:00) оберон(l): that's "someone put some bitter crap in my coffee and I think I have the flu"

(19:22:29) kesuari: i'm probably the wrong person to be giving any sort of relationship advice/commentry i guess :)

(19:22:34) kesuari: or maybe :(

(13:32:30) Brenda: you check, i call him up to pick me up and drive me places and everytime he is happy to come and everytime he gets lost and i have to give up and catch a bus. like, what is the point of relationships? clearly there can be no love bc such cannot exist in the rotted and twisted hearts of men (no offense; it is a gender thing, not a sex thing, which means you're fine bc you are an individual who creates himself outside of societal presssures and definitions)

(13:32:53) Brenda: and men who have 16 hours hangovers and get lost right when you need them have otherwise no point

(01:08:08) Sarah: I say that I have a halo and they tell me it doesn't count if it's super-glued on.

(20:03:17) [Sarah]: Albert keeps telling me to not drink that much in Poland. I was like,"Poland = VODKA!"

(20:03:31) [me]: yeah

(20:03:36) [me]: but be careful when you do drink

(20:04:11) [me]: people try to take advantage of drunk people

(20:04:30) [Sarah]: Oh they don't want to fuck with me. The Mexicans have tried that.

(20:32:24) [Sarah]: I've started to speak to the Mexicans in Polish and Japanese so they'll leave me alone.

(20:35:27) [Sarah]: Well I have a sign on my forehead that says "EASY PIECE OF ASS! VEN AQUI!"

(20:40:30) [Sarah]: The last time I was in Walmart with a friend, I had a Mexican following me around and he was speaking in English and wouldn't leave me alone so I just started going,"Nie rozumiem. Nihongo ga rozumiesz?"

(20:43:49) [Sarah]: I was like,"What do you want?" "I just want to talk." "Mexicans NEVER want to just talk to me."

(04:02:04) [me]: let's do sheep based on land area now

(04:02:43) [me]: Kazakhstan: 15'217'700 / 2,724,900 km²

(04:03:06) [me]: Kyrgyzstan: 5'264'000 / 199,900 km²

(04:03:11) [me]: oops

(04:03:16) [me]: I think I'm doing humans :-P

(04:03:52) kesuari: unless you're kiwi, that's what I'd expect you to "do"

(04:21:50) Derek: somebody took my magical woman attracting kitten and made a Russian postcard out of it?

02:30:52 [Rianna]: Like being so into Rocky Horror Picture Show, that you're there all the time and sleeping with multiple cast members at the same time in the same room? :-p

02:31:45 [me]: well, that's not so sketchy for Rocky Horror if you're in the cast

02:31:57 [Rianna]: whoa, yeah, that is pretty weird

10:45:43 [redacted]: i think se coucher is reflexive for going to bed oneself

10:45:56 [redacted]: but "to bed, as in a woman" is probably not reflexive

10:46:30 [redacted]: (let's put it this way - if you se coucher, as in a woman, by yourself, god just killed a kitten)

[00:59] Ryan: It amuses me to see Jesus fish on cars. I always see sideways vagina.

00:57:59 [aladnsane]: egads! you mean.. WIKIPEDIA MIGHT BE WRONG ABOUT THE SEX LIFE OF A STAR TREK STAR?!?!?!?

00:58:06 [aladnsane]: My faith in the resource is dead.

00:58:24 [aladnsane]: /me hands you a towel to mop up the dripping sarcasm

20:27:37 [me]: btw, your husband seems to bear some uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise

20:28:23 [Amanda]: you think he looks like tom cruise?!

20:28:24 [Amanda]: that's awesome

20:28:28 [Amanda]: i think he looks like a chicken

20:28:32 [Amanda]: ... a cute one tho

(23:26:57) Ian: so what was that book that fucking chomsky would be more useful than?

(00:05:16) Jess: fucking chomsky would be more useful than this book

(02:11:04) [me]: aw, but that wasn't helpful :-P

(02:11:04) Оберон : Naked and wet.

(02:11:10) [me]: neither is that...

(02:11:10) Оберон: Sorry.

(02:11:13) Оберон: Monkey is all I can offer.

(00:35:54) Оберон: Dude

(00:35:58) Оберон: your dad is making up moon porn

(00:36:01) Оберон: and putting it on his resume

(08:56:24) Kesuari: [German Delikatessen, from pl. of Delikatesse, delicacy, from French délicatesse, from Italian delicatezza, fromdelicato, delicate, dainty, from Latin dlictus, pleasing. See delicate.]

(08:56:53) Kesuari: right country, wrong interepretation

(08:57:18) Kesuari: that word remains me of your server, though.

(08:57:21) Kesuari: a whore.

(08:57:35) Kesuari: been with every language...

(19:17:13) Оберон: http://www.goats.com/comix/0104/goats010402.gif

(19:17:37) Оберон: Some might say that's offensive because it depicts a man being reassured by the promise of cookies.

(19:17:49) Оберон: What those people miss is that, without women to reassure us and bring us cookies, men would be hopelessly lost.

(02:36:12) Оберон: Someone trying to probe my web server for Windows security holes is like someone trying to probe me for female holes

(02:36:36) Оберон: It may not be rape but it still leaves me feeling dirty

(13:46:43) [redacted]: i have so much fucking spanish to do

(13:46:53) [redacted]: where is spanish!? i need to fuck her!

(06:12:40) Оберон: If a woman walked up to you tomorrow and said "I bet you have a wonderful snapple, and I'm absolutely not asexual -- how about you come back to my place and do me?" would you assume she wanted to know the way to Usdan?

(06:12:51) [me]: I might...

(05:22:02) Оберон: I've learned to swim with the weasels somewhat

(05:22:19) Оберон: but trying to figure out what women think is attractive is like trying to build a 7 pointed cube

(05:23:03) Оберон: Weasels should have dorsal fins

(05:23:06) Оберон: it would help my analogies

(15:12:13) Alex: Oh, talking about eating - have you eaten any of your booty yet?

(03:23:23) Kesuari: (dʒɔnz søːvəz ə hoː)

(03:24:10) Kesuari: (jon's server's a whore)

(03:24:25) Kesuari: making reference the number of people who have webpages on it)

(22:25:36) Bryan: :-P i need a woman who wants to spread the joy

(05:12:05) Aarón: ok, nasty thought

(05:12:13) Aarón: remove thyselves from my brain!

(05:12:23) Aarón: aaaaaand theeeeey;re

(05:12:25) Aarón: still there

(05:12:26) Aarón: dammit!

In reference to "advice" he'd given

(04:52:31) Aarón: (this has been a service of AaronsLoveAdvice.com - you stalk 'em we talk [to] 'em)

(18:48:17) Aaron: my my... there is ALSO a connection b/w Jess Frisch and freudian/sex

(21:08:48) Оберон: you should link that new quote to the old one

(21:08:51) Оберон: or it's not funny

(21:09:00) [me]: and how do you propose I do that?

(21:09:40) Оберон: ...with this "hypertext markup language" thing which is all the rage nowadays?

(21:10:08) Оберон: see, you use an "anchor tag", and then you give it a "property" called the "href" which...

(21:10:27) Оберон: y'see, Jon, when a mommy webpage and a daddy webpage really love eachother...

(21:10:33) Оберон: ...not sure where that last bit came from

(21:10:38) Оберон: but it seemed appropriate

(21:11:19) Оберон: perhaps because at this point I expect you to know at least as much about HTML as you do about sex

(21:11:24) Оберон: hell, at this point, you should know a lot more

(01:45:50) оберон: Women are like my broken window shade.

(01:45:58) оберон: You can pull as hard as you want, but it's not going to change anything

(01:46:08) оберон: and the only solution is to jam them between your bed and the wall with a heavy blanket

(01:46:26) оберон: see, I have the gift if stupalogy

(01:46:29) оберон: it's not quite stupid

(01:46:33) оберон: and it's not quite an analogy

(01:46:38) оберон: and people are just so shocked they smile and nod

(01:46:57) оберон: and don't think to question how it is, exactly, that women are like a piece of plastic rolled over a metal bar.

(01:47:16) оберон: if they did, though, I'd calmly explain that it has to do with the sprinsg.

(01:47:18) оберон: springs, even.

(01:47:55) оберон: Life is like a fire alarm: you wish it would just stay nice and quiet but it never does and you always end up all wet.

(01:48:23) оберон: Now in actuality, a fire alarm is a device which goes "BUZZ" and life is a bunch of organic compounds wiggling about. But people buy it anyway

(01:45:30) оберон: Women are like telephones. They ring when you don't want them to, they don't ring when you want them to, and they have a tendency to wake you in the middle of the night.

(01:44:27) оберон: Women are like toasters. You've got to wait for a bit, and then they go ding. And if you keep waiting, you get a fire. And then you get a guy beating you senseless with a chair.

(17:13:06) Qatharsis: Then again, you live in a country where knowing some French make you a Sex God.

(19:49:51) ¡Luz!: got a fortune cookie tonight:

(19:50:16) ¡Luz!: "A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Ouch!"

(01:05:24) оберон - desktop: I code.

(01:05:27) оберон - desktop: Almost constantly.

(01:05:29) оберон - desktop: I code all day at work

(01:05:31) оберон - desktop: I come home

(01:05:35) оберон - desktop: pick up my girlfriend

(01:05:37) оберон - desktop: go to my room

(01:05:39) оберон - desktop: lock the door.

(01:05:42) оберон - desktop: put her on the bed.

(01:05:44) оберон - desktop: and go and code more.

(01:05:49) оберон - desktop: She reads.

(20:09:08) Kathryn: i might not be able to understand it, but i know french when i hear it

(20:09:15) Kathryn: it's like pornography

(22:38:28) [me]: did you get that song?

(22:38:35) [Kathryn]: yes

(22:39:40) [Kathryn]: shit

(22:39:41) [me]: what do you think?

(22:39:46) [Kathryn]: this is a good song

(22:39:55) [me]: =)

(22:40:33) [Kathryn]: Jesus

(22:40:40) [Kathryn]: you know my taste in men and in music

(22:40:43) [Kathryn]: that's creepy

(16:39:22) [me]: and also, scratch the "isn't sex" part. it is sex, just not full-blown sex. (pun *NOT* intended)

(16:39:36) Qatharsis: LOL

(16:40:11) Qatharsis: Yeah, such unintended puns *suck*, don't they.

(16:40:21) [me]: hehe

(16:40:48) Qatharsis: You had it coming. ;-)

(16:40:54) [me]: oy

(20:42:57) LunaCamilla: it's a sad state of affairs when you're single b/c you're not geeky enough

[08:44:16] [sn withheld]: maybe if Apple gets their act together with darwinports

[08:44:25] [sn withheld]: so I can get some guaranteed working command line player love

[08:44:33] [sn withheld]: but so far the "love" has all been of the "fuck you" form.

[11:45:21] LunaCamilla: like, it's a porn or something like that

[11:29:54] LunaCamilla: fuck you and the horse you rode in on

[18:18:48] LunaCamilla: hard core isn't even a verb!

[20:48:28] LunaCamilla: it just annoys me that i get more action in other ppl's imaginations than i do in reality

(23:33:41) Rianna: You "saw" her? Either you mean, that she says you did, but you don't recall or that you hallucinated her while incredibly drunk, because it's too cold there for mirages

(23:35:21) [me]: no, she says I saw her, but I don't really remember. She certainly saw me

(23:35:49) Rianna: Were you wearing one of your Kyrgyz pimp hats?

18:03:03 [anon]: hell, I think I got more action in high school than at brandeis

(17:54:49) Brenda: a card is better than a red satin thong. i like you. you have class

...

(17:55:26) [me]: anyway, try giving a Central Asian girl a thong and see what happens

(17:55:40) [me]: actually, I'm not sure what would happen

(17:55:57) Brenda: she would floss with it

(23:10:36) Jóhann: no thong?

(23:10:39) [me]: no

(23:10:54) [me]: but at the bazaar right next to the cards at one place they had a big pile of women's underwear

(23:11:04) [me]: probably including thongs; I didn't check

(23:11:10) Jóhann: im glad you didnt check

(23:11:42) [me]: why?

...

(23:13:44) Jóhann: because thats just perfectly normal for a guy who looks straight with red hair to go through a pile of women's underwear in a middle of an unorderly marketplace in Kyrgryzstan...nothing strange about that

(13:54:40) [me]: the music videos are kind of Turkish too

(13:56:52) Michael: are they vaguely thuggish and/or have beautiful women prancing around in revealing outfits and silly visuals?

(13:57:05) [me]: only the silly visuals

(13:57:19) Michael: yeah, turks are into that

(13:57:25) [me]: one has a bunch of girls getting rained on

(13:57:33) Michael: just randomly?

(13:57:37) [me]: mm, no

(13:57:47) Michael: what a concept.

(13:58:00) Michael: so... you guys are just gonna sing like, you know, your concerts right. .

(13:58:45) Michael: and then, right in the middle, bam! rain.. no umbrellas, either.. then.. uh.. that was my only id ea

(23:13:38) Colum: that friend of mine kept saying that "they are trying. English isn't their first language!" But you don't try it on your merchandise!

(18:45:25) kesuari: i never know how to assess girls

(14:04:28) Michaela: but the central asian/tajik dating trick i learned is that the guys just gradually start attaching pictures of flowers to emails and see how the girl reacts

(19:34:54) ***kesuari bags jon all the time, but jon doesn't always notice it

(19:35:12) [me]: no, I just can't tell

(19:35:15) [me]: I notice that something's up

(19:35:19) [me]: and consider that as a possibility

(19:35:25) [me]: but can't always tell if it's the right one

(19:35:37) kesuari: it's like shakespearean comedy, except with insults, not sex

(12:27:16) kesuari: so i'm perfectly content to live for, say, a million years and call it a day

(12:27:38) kesuari: hopefully i can contribute enough genetic code to the human race over that time that future generations are still backwards compatible

(12:27:50) kesuari: i've thought about this too much too

(03:58:15) Aladnsane: John, think for a minute. Average male. Prick. Both in attitude, and in thinking organ.

(03:58:29) [me]: true

(03:58:38) [me]: though most guys I know are half decent at least

(03:59:10) Aladnsane: Most guys you know are selected, remember?

(03:59:18) [me]: ?

(03:59:25) Aladnsane: I don't know any stupid people.

(03:59:31) Aladnsane: This isn't because there aren't any.

(03:59:37) Aladnsane: It's because you /can/ choose your friends.

(22:16:04) jonathan: though the ty/vy forms are taking over :\

(22:16:40) jonathan: (hint: ty/vy = Russian)

(22:17:29) [anon]: wow

(22:17:36) jonathan: wow?

(22:17:58) [anon]: russians

(22:18:15) jonathan: russians = wow?

(22:19:40) [anon]: yeah.. . they are so sneaky.. conquering by inserting pronouns into other languages.

(22:21:11) [anon]: though i guess that's probably not all that gets inserted... and languages are probably not the only thing that gets err.. penetrated.. umm.. anyway

(23:37:02) Sarah: Is it bad that I want to take parts of Anne Rice's erotica, copy and paste it into a note on my Facebook, and tag my extremely conservative friends?

(04:44:13) [me]: nz has more sheep/km² than china has people

(04:44:20) kesuari: indeed

(04:44:48) kesuari: this is the basis for why the chinese, in general, breed with other chinese; but new zealanders often breed with sheep.

(03:10:38) spectie: i've done it before with a russian girl

(03:10:41) spectie: so i know the principles

(03:55:29) taylskid: well they get the girl

(03:55:36) taylskid: so they don't care about the other stuff

(03:55:45) jonorthwash: yeah

(03:55:50) jonorthwash: "get"

(03:56:18) jonorthwash: not in the romance movie sense of the word

(03:56:38) jonorthwash: more like in the horror movie sense of the word

(03:44:57) taylskid: living in a notorious party area definitely has its pros and cons

(03:45:04) taylskid: on one hand, it's loud a lot of the time

(03:45:22) taylskid: on the other hand, you get to watch people make that awkward walk of shame home

(03:45:49) taylskid: tonight I saw a guy throw a punch and fall over, and some girl just puked in the street screaming "get turnt"