Quotes
Interesting things said in my presence
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other categories found with "sarcasm": stupidity (9), language (9), hyperbole (8), sadness (7), politics (7)
[ sort: date / rating, ↑ ↓ ]
[edit] added: 24 July 2012
[edit] added: 27 April 2012
(00:09:00) [anon]: spreche kann nicht deitch
(00:09:03) [anon]: deuitch
(00:09:07) [anon]: deutcsch
(00:09:09) [anon]: deutsch
(00:09:10) [anon]: or something
(00:09:13) [me]: those are all dialects
[edit] added: 14 July 2008
[Чоң шамал келгенде]
"Казанды карма!"
[edit] added: 19 March 2008
мен: "Таңга чейин чай иче алам."
Тралик: "Давай спор!"
[edit] added: 26 February 2008
(17:02:31) [me]: I can't think of anything to make from potatoes
(17:03:34) kesuari: mashed potatoes?
(17:03:43) [me]: nah
(17:04:12) [me]: I mean, soup, mashed potatoes, and omlit (tortilla española) all come to mind
(17:04:18) [me]: but I don't want any of those
...
(17:05:51) [me]: maybe I'll just make that really good curry again
(17:10:05) kesuari: you can also make stamps out of potatoes
(17:10:17) [me]: I was thinking of food
(17:10:23) [me]: not .. other stuff
(17:10:27) [me]: that I have no use for :-P
(17:10:37) kesuari: given you're talking to me, you really should've specified
[edit] added: 13 February 2008
(14:54:07) Michaela: in english school can refer to either a university or an elementary school--as long as it's an educational institution
(14:55:12) [me]: no, in American English
(14:55:29) Michaela: true
(14:55:39) Michaela: but really, i mean, we know who's running the show these days
(14:55:44) Michaela: i'm not ethnocentric, but come on
[edit] added: 24 December 2007
Jonathan: "Well, I mean, if you own land, and the value goes down, that's something you worry about, and you look to the cause."
Mandy: "Yeah, 'cause black people themselves actually make property values go down, just by standing there. Why don't we just shoot them all."
Jonathan: "Well, I'm not disagreeing with you guys—"
everyone: [jaws drop]
Jonathan: "Nono, that's not what I mean!"
[edit] added: 18 December 2007
Jonathan: "Hey, look, the eternal flame's going. That's good to know."
Lara: "Yeah, that's different."
[edit] added: 16 December 2007
(22:29:20) Michael: she has some best friends from HS that she hasn't told yet 'cause they are really busy
(22:29:37) [me]: but not busy enough to not be on facebook
(22:30:23) Michael: no.
(22:30:29) Michael: who is that busy, honestly :)
(22:30:39) Michael: i was only that busy maybe 2 days this quarter
[edit] added: 8 December 2007
(15:17:35) [me]: you just have to think like me is all, and then you'll understand things like this :-P
(15:17:46) kesuari: yeah
(15:18:06) kesuari: i, on the other hand, got my thinkingways from a more reputable dealer than you, i think
(15:18:14) kesuari: you probably got yours from a kyrgyz bizarre
[edit] added: 1 December 2007
[a woman cuts ahead in line at store to get a dirty, brown, unappetising-looking root vegetable weighed]
guy at head of line to woman: "Это бесплатно, наверно."
[edit] added: 3 November 2007
"And she, like, uses the internet for everything it's meant to be used for—except maybe porn, maybe she doesn't use it for that."
[edit] added: 5 September 2007
"You guys had lots of things growing up that other people had never heard of, like broccoli cookies."
[edit] added: 20 July 2007
[wine keeps causing X to crash]
(03:26:24) [me]: wine sucks
(03:37:21) kesuari: well, at least it's emulating windows well
[edit] added: 20 June 2007
(01:55:22) [me]: and using beamer to do my slides
(01:55:29) kesuari: use powerpoint then :)
(01:55:47) kesuari: *use powerpoint then $\ddot{\smile}$
[edit] added: 3 April 2007
Jonathan: "So I was working on my thesis the other day, and I had to read through all this stuff."
Stefan: "Dude. You're in grad school. You're working on your thesis. And you had to read stuff? No way!"
Jonathan: "No, but like, I have to read through all this stuff to get data from it."
Stefan: ...
[edit] added: 1 April 2007
HS: But how did [G] become [g]? I thought usually the trend is the other way round.
Tristan: There’s no accounting for tastes :)
[edit] added: 21 March 2007
(00:31:27) [me]: btw, safeway's website claims that this one is 24hours
(00:31:32) [me]: is it sketchy to go there at 1am?
(00:31:39) Derek: yes
(00:31:47) Derek: you're probably a crack dealer
[edit] added: 16 January 2007
me: "Huh, if you go to the Jackson School's page, they have this graphic at the top that's a picture of some stream that doesn't look like it's on the UW campus."
Graham [looks at picture]: "Oh yeah, I've seen that place, it's on the other side of Lake Union."
me [reloads page, blinks]: "Hey look, now they have a picture of the Taj Mahal."
Graham: "Yeah, you haven't seen that? It's behind the forestry building."
[edit] added: 7 June 2006
(20:41:33) [Rianna]: uhh...what version of the windows virus are you runinng?
(20:42:01) [Laura]: The latest version of AVG.
[edit] added: 3 May 2006
00:57:59 [aladnsane]: egads! you mean.. WIKIPEDIA MIGHT BE WRONG ABOUT THE SEX LIFE OF A STAR TREK STAR?!?!?!?
00:58:06 [aladnsane]: My faith in the resource is dead.
00:58:24 [aladnsane]: /me hands you a towel to mop up the dripping sarcasm
[edit] added: 19 April 2005
(04:10:01) [me]: you mind/want your name cited?
(04:10:23) [me]: (by default, I'll say "Examples from personal communication with Christian Thalmann, 19 April, 2005.")
(04:11:17) Qatharsis: Cool. :)
(04:12:05) Qatharsis: Though "Christian 'm4st0r of teh univers' Thalmann" would be more proper. ;)
[edit] added: 18 September 2004
(06:27:36) Kesuari: i think i'm planning on going on exchange second semester next year. except that i'll go to the northern hemisphere, so i'll have three first semesters in a row and it will be spooky
(06:30:06) [me]: whereto exactly?
(06:30:31) Kesuari: europe, for preference. and somewhere they speak english, so that rules out the mainland and england.
[edit] added: 20 February 2004
"You see, that's what's wrong with the U.S.—we don't have rebels in the mountains who shoot at planes and no one wants to deal with."
[edit] added: 14 January 2004
(17:51:53) Aarón: that would be an interesting study
(17:51:58) Aarón: how sarcasm is denoted in text
(17:54:20) Aarón: how many weeks are there in the semester?
[edit] added: 3 December 2003
(21:26:44) Kathryn: i meant logically
(21:26:45) [me]: you mean how that has anything to do with the part before?
(21:26:50) Kathryn: yes
(21:27:17) [me]: that can stay ambiguous. There's some context here that makes it a little clearer. You'll see later
(21:27:30) Kathryn: o...k...
(21:28:25) [me]: I'm not on crack; I promise.
(21:28:37) Kathryn: riiight
[edit] added: 19 August 2003
Person behind register at Lowes: "I hear thunder."
My father, a minute later, sarcastically, and in jest: "Well, the rain has to come from somewhere."
[edit] added: 20 July 2003
(22:53:24) [me]: where does kde keep its icons?
(22:53:45) Kesuari: on my computer in /dev/null
[edit] added: 5 June 2003
(17:12:07) [me]: I have a new haircut too, but it's pretty normal for me. just shorter than most people are used to
(17:13:40) [Sarah]: lol. the jonathan. i think we should market it that way
[edit] added: 6 May 2003
"Yeah, and don't walk in on me in the shower, unless it's Tuesday."
[edit] added: 13 April 2003
"What is `innate'? What is `what'?"
[edit] added: unknown
"Define democracy, and then shove it up Bush's ass—that's what you should do."
[edit] added: unknown
"Ow. That was G-d getting back at me for saying 'stupid asshole Christian'."
[edit] added: unknown
(16:40:37) Luna Camilla: yeah. so i had to see what witticism had sprung from my fingers this time
[edit] added: unknown
"What would the trigger happy twin of Jesus do? That would make a good bracelet."
[edit] added: unknown
"Damn nuclear fusion, or fission, or whatever makes the sun shine."
[edit] added: unknown
"She's like that Justice Brandeis guy come back as a Turkish girl!"
[edit] added: unknown
(00:05:32) firespeaker: I wrote some last night
(00:05:44) firespeaker: added to the story I've been writing. also edited it considerably
(00:05:48) ¡Luz! Je viens du ciel et les étoiles entre elles / ne parlent que de toi...: what langue?
(00:06:11) firespeaker: what langue do you think? it's a story that may become an epic...
(00:06:19) firespeaker: It's in Tjelwu of course!
(00:06:23) firespeaker: j/k.. English =P
[edit] added: unknown
"Zuxt oys in a verterbux - I'm not responsible for the meaning of German words."
[edit] added: unknown
[23:22:18] LunaCamilla: now i'm stupid!
[23:22:34] firespeaker org: I should put that on the quotes page
[23:22:40] LunaCamilla: it's SARCASM
[23:22:43] firespeaker org: I know
[23:22:47] firespeaker org: but out of context it isn't
[23:22:50] LunaCamilla: you don't put sarcasm on the quotes page!
[23:22:58] LunaCamilla: you shit male dumbhead you!
[edit] added: unknown
[21:41:53] LunaCamilla: my biscotti tells me that if it makes me happy, to do it at least once
[21:42:08] firespeaker org: that's not always possible
[21:42:18] LunaCamilla: yeah, i was thinking that
[21:42:23] LunaCamilla: i told the biscotti that
[21:42:27] LunaCamilla: but it wouldn't listen
[21:42:32] LunaCamilla: so i ate it
[edit] added: unknown
"Real Linux users don't use directories!"
[edit] added: unknown
"I've been reading about all these crazy Jewish cultures which may or may not have to do with my research project."
[edit] added: unknown
"Let me revel in my funniness for a few minutes before telling me I'm delusional."
[edit] added: unknown
LunaCamilla: oh good. i love how all i have to do is bitch at you, and my demands are met. that's lovely.
[edit] added: unknown
"I can't read your mind yet—I'm still working on it."
[edit] added: unknown
"Not only does it suck, but it sucks in a foreign language."
[edit] added: unknown
"Writing like a lousy heavy metal song is so easy."
[edit] added: unknown
"I'm sticking with FOX News—I like getting upset."
[edit] added: unknown
"I'm against beating children, but if my kids ever call french fries freedom fries, I'm going to seriously beat them."
[edit] added: unknown
"Hey guys, this just in on the Wouldn't've happened under Gore channel: . . . ."
[edit] added: unknown
"'Shoelock, shoelock' -- when me and my friends used to pretend we were black and we didn't know any of the slang, we used to make up our own."
[edit] added: unknown
(20:58:11) LunaCamilla: with friends like you and alex, who needs enemies?
(20:58:31) [me]: that's getting quote-listed
(20:59:00) LunaCamilla: good. it's about time the world realized what i'm dealing with.
[edit] added: unknown
"Uh, just place it on the floor. ...Right side up. Yeah, I know I have to be pretty specific when I'm talking to you."
[edit] added: unknown
(17:40:09) Qatharsis: What's with that dark-on-black text style? It's a major rectal dolence!
[edit] added: unknown
"Pin it all on me. I'm so influential."
[edit] added: unknown
[11:49:53] LunaCamilla: you piece of shit male you
[edit] added: unknown
[11:32:10] LunaCamilla: don't rush me! i'm hurrying!
[edit] added: unknown
[11:30:35] LunaCamilla: bah. everything i say is on the quotes page. you might as well just post most of our conversations. seriously.
[edit] added: unknown
[11:29:54] LunaCamilla: fuck you and the horse you rode in on
[edit] added: unknown
"I didn't know people didn't speak Latin until you all started telling me all the time, and then I was like, 'Whoa, no one speaks Latin anymore! Whoa, it's a dead language! That explains so much!'."