"I was standing there peeing and I thought to myself 'I know they took the cow'."
Interesting things said in my presence
other categories found with "animals": weirdness (17), food (16), cats (13), sex (12), provincialism (9)
[ sort: date / rating, ↑ ↓ ]
 added: 18 April 2004
 added: 3 December 2005
20:23:03 [Laura]: I want a pack of black flesh eating squirrels that i can command to attack people i don't like.
20:23:37 [Laura]: Hungry squirrels. It's better than say, hungry rats, because it's so much more degrading to be killed by a squirrel than a rat.
20:24:09 [Laura]: Wouldn't you love to sic a pack of meat-eating squirrels on your enemies?
 added: 12 August 2007
"Look at those two fireflies: they're flying close together and blinking. They must be mating! One's green and one's red. Oh. Wait, is that an airplane?"
 added: 28 February 2007
"Okay, look dude: one thigh, two thigh, butt, back."
 added: 13 October 2006
Jonathan: "Hey, Derek, gonna get tested for rabies?"
Derek: "Yeah, I guess I should—I wouldn't want to infect the squirrels."
 added: 5 May 2006
Aladnsane: "Don't tip this. There's a beverage involved."
Jonathan: "But I like tipping things with beverages involved… like cows."
 added: 30 November 2003
(23:39:00) Mark: I always wanted to be a toy monkey. such a carefree life
(23:39:02) Mark: no homework
(23:39:19) Mark: get to see all sorts of exotic tourist destinations
 added: 18 September 2004
Jonathan: "Hm, something messed up."
oberon: "Because you don't own files."
Jonathan: "No, it's the Monkees."
oberon: "Yes, Jon, it's the monkeys."
Jonathan: "The Monkees aren't working. Root owns the Monkees."
[oberon starts ignoring me]
 added: 1 March 2007
"It was funny when Derek had a question, you could tell—it was like watching a puppy. ‘Got a morphology problem boy?’"
 added: 30 December 2005
me: "So how did the fishies that evolved originally get to lake Baikal? By air?"
my genious scientist father: "Probably."
 added: 10 December 2004
"I appreciate sound changes—I'm talking about duck lenition!"
 added: 24 October 2004
"Little do you know. It looks like Maple is watching you use your computer, but she's actually watching you type your root password."
 added: 2 October 2004
"No, I'm fine with vegetarians—they can eat anything they want—I just want more cow."
 added: 19 March 2004
Matt: "People who dislike homosexuals should support gay marriage because everyone knows after you get married, you stop having sex."
Jonathan: "How do you know that?"
oberon: "Well, we do know your birthday."
Matt: "I do have younger brothers, though."
Ian: "Are your brothers married?"
Matt: "I have two younger brothers and two cats. You do the math."
oberon: "That leaves three days of the week."
 added: 12 October 2004
Jonathan [referring to an incident that just happened]: "Well, if a weird shape appeared out from behind a wall and meowed at you, you'd be scared too."
Nat: "Yeah. I'm sorry I scared you, Vickie. I was calling you in your native tongue."
 added: 6 October 2004
(01:11:36) Matt S: Lemurs stole my syllabery.
(01:11:42) [me]: ?
(01:11:56) Matt S: They tricked me, they said they just wanted to borrow it, and now they're all, like, "What syllabery?"
(01:12:05) [me]: oh?
(01:12:18) Matt S: Yeah. Well, just wanted to let you know to be on the lookout.
 added: 15 January 2007
(19:48:35) [Aladnsane]: Kosher slaughter generally seems a good idea to me. Simple. Effective. Not Traif.
 added: 19 December 2007
(19:25:03) Adam B: There's only maybe 4 or 5 outside the US that are certified by the US, letting their graduates practice in the US
(19:25:14) Adam B: Glasgow is one of them, which is why we are here
(19:30:25) Adam B: And they speak English here
(19:30:27) Adam B: Sort-of
(19:30:33) Adam B: Close enough
 added: 16 December 2007
(01:29:38) Amanda: look at my smileys
(01:29:46) Amanda: >:o angry!
(01:30:44) [me]: ..
(01:31:37) Amanda: you see my lo9bster?
(01:32:00) [me]: what?
(01:32:39) Amanda: no my smiley faces are lobsters
(01:32:55) [me]: oh
(01:32:58) [me]: yeah, they kind of are
(01:32:59) [me]: it's weird
(01:33:14) Amanda: no they're literally lobsters
(01:33:22) Amanda: do you see them?
(01:33:47) [me]: ....
(01:33:53) [me]: then how about I say "no" this time
(01:34:01) [me]: no
(01:34:03) [me]: I haven't seen them
(01:34:08) Amanda: 'm confused
 added: 27 November 2007
(06:20:41) kesuari: hang it on an article of clothing, hang that on the line near the tree, it'll be gone by tomorrow
 added: 31 October 2007
"There's almost as many crows as there was percent alcohol in that beer."
 added: 1 July 2007
(23:36:42) Jade Solitude: I love free software
(23:36:51) Jade Solitude: But I love some propriety software, too
(23:36:51) Jade Solitude: =þ
(23:37:02) Jade Solitude: I love Winamp, for example
(23:38:38) kesuari: hah! people still use winamp. how cute. you should cage him, etc.
 added: 30 June 2007
(23:27:50) kesuari: (also, it's annoying for people on dialup, because it makes it take much longer to download)
(23:28:00) kesuari: (but that's largely no longer a concern in the west)
(23:28:28) [me]: I'm actually talking to someone who's on dial-up right now
(23:28:53) kesuari: ooh wow, you should cage her and put her in the zoo with that windows friend of yours who uses gaim
 added: 24 June 2007
(04:44:13) [me]: nz has more sheep/km² than china has people
(04:44:20) kesuari: indeed
(04:44:48) kesuari: this is the basis for why the chinese, in general, breed with other chinese; but new zealanders often breed with sheep.
 added: 24 June 2007
(04:02:04) [me]: let's do sheep based on land area now
(04:02:43) [me]: Kazakhstan: 15'217'700 / 2,724,900 km²
(04:03:06) [me]: Kyrgyzstan: 5'264'000 / 199,900 km²
(04:03:11) [me]: oops
(04:03:16) [me]: I think I'm doing humans :-P
(04:03:52) kesuari: unless you're kiwi, that's what I'd expect you to "do"
 added: 8 May 2007
"I have a much harder time being mean to furry cute animals than to other living things."
 added: 11 February 2007
Brenda: "That's the Chinese word for pig: ‘Jū’."
Stefan: "Yeah, where do you think the word ‘Jew’ comes from?"
 added: 9 January 2007
(04:21:50) Derek: somebody took my magical woman attracting kitten and made a Russian postcard out of it?
 added: 5 November 2006
"If I were a buffalo, and I tasted this good, I'd want to be factory farmed."
 added: 7 October 2006
"That's like pulling an assault rifle on a horde of bunnies! A horde of bunnies in a cage!"
 added: 5 June 2006
10:45:43 [redacted]: i think se coucher is reflexive for going to bed oneself
10:45:56 [redacted]: but "to bed, as in a woman" is probably not reflexive
10:46:30 [redacted]: (let's put it this way - if you se coucher, as in a woman, by yourself, god just killed a kitten)
 added: 27 May 2006
"Do a little evil, do a little monkey, get down tonight."
 added: 22 March 2006
01:34:57 [Tristan]: there's a windows-user who uses gaim?
01:35:06 [Tristan]: i didn't realise such things existed!
01:35:16 [Tristan]: you should capture him and put him in a zoo!
01:35:53 [Tristan]: or stuff him and put him in a museum!
 added: 12 March 2006
Shoshana: "Hey, this seahorse looks like it's pregnant."
Josh: "Well, I don't know—it says here that it's a 'pot-bellied seahorse.'"
 added: 5 March 2006
20:27:37 [me]: btw, your husband seems to bear some uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise
20:28:23 [Amanda]: you think he looks like tom cruise?!
20:28:24 [Amanda]: that's awesome
20:28:28 [Amanda]: i think he looks like a chicken
20:28:32 [Amanda]: ... a cute one tho
 added: 23 March 2006
21:24:31 [Hannah]: http://community.livejournal.com/baaaaabyanimals/1902984.html?#cutid1
21:24:32 [Hannah]: eew?
21:28:01 [me]: rofl, what is that, an aardvark?
21:28:19 [Hannah]: yeah
21:28:23 [me]: it's like a proto-mamal
21:28:26 [Hannah]: lol
21:28:28 [me]: it is!
21:28:41 [Hannah]: not cute is what it is
21:29:10 [me]: like, its feet are kind of prehistoric-looking, it's body is generic mamal, and it's head's evolved for sniffing out and sucking up ants
21:29:20 [me]: it's head's like the only part of it that's evolved
 added: 15 January 2006
06:58:41 [Laura]: Did you know
06:58:50 [Laura]: that there is a real movie coming out
06:58:58 [Laura]: called, "Snakes on a plane"
06:59:02 [me]: wtf
06:59:14 [Laura]: Snakes on a Plane.
06:59:24 [Laura]: As in, i can tell you the plot of the movie already.
06:59:31 [Laura]: There will be snakes on a plane.
 added: 19 August 2005
[00:00] Aaron B: eel is like fish that got mutated...
[00:00] Aaron B: i bet if you genetically combined a sheep and a fish, the first few would come out like eels.
 added: 4 July 2005
Kevin: "As far as society is concerned, she's set."
Shawn: "Well, yeah, she's got tits and a vagina."
Kevin: "As do a lot of mammals."
 added: 6 April 2005
(00:40:12) [me]: why do you keep comparing me to a squirrel?
(00:40:19) Оберон: I dunno.
(00:40:19) [me]: don't you have some sort of vendetta against them?
(00:40:35) Оберон: Not really, I just think they're tree-rats
(00:40:42) Оберон: whereas Anna thinks they're like little cats with big tails
 added: 5 April 2005
(00:35:10) Оберон: I get the vision of a squirrel eating
(00:35:18) Оберон: you know how they eat with rapid, tiny bites, looking around furtively?
(00:35:24) Оберон: the way you qualify the same statement about four times
(00:35:34) Оберон: it makes me think you're waiting for something with binocular vision to eat you
 added: 3 April 2005
"You see, cats are a lot more resourceful than plants."
 added: 14 January 2005
"Oh, that's not a fur coat, that's an animal!"
 added: 14 November 2004
oberon: "It's just funny that you have a picture of your boyfriend framed and labelled 'Kitty'. One of them you leave bowls of cream out for. One of them's a cat."
Ian: "No, one them you put bowls of cream out for; the other one puts bowls of cream out for you."
 added: 23 October 2004
"Isn't that what freshman do? Drink, sleep around, and move in herds?"
 added: 3 May 2004
(18:20:28) Оберон: I'd never miss free, easily accessible food
(18:20:35) Оберон: Though I'm afraid dinner may consist largely of tainted cow
(18:22:01) Оберон: ...which would make a much better band name than entree
 added: 19 April 2004
"You searched for 'real honest-to-G-d tank' and got 'how to install linux on a dead badger'? You win."
 added: 13 April 2004
"Let's google Lemur noises."
 added: 29 March 2004
Jonathan: "But I love Chernobylian shoulder parrots."
oberon: "Polly wanna meltdown."
 added: 24 February 2004
(05:22:02) Оберон: I've learned to swim with the weasels somewhat
(05:22:19) Оберон: but trying to figure out what women think is attractive is like trying to build a 7 pointed cube
(05:23:03) Оберон: Weasels should have dorsal fins
(05:23:06) Оберон: it would help my analogies
 added: 3 November 2003
"You don't see the connection between a weasel and a tube? Get me a weasel and a tube and I'll show you."
 added: 4 September 2003
"So the Russians are still trading in squirrels? That could explain the value of the rouble."
 added: 24 August 2003
(01:41:03) [me]: my modem doesn't like handshaking
(01:41:18) Kesuari: my cat doesn't either.
 added: 31 July 2003
[standing by an orange tree trying to get down a good orange]
me: "Ooh, try to get that one up there."
Mahesh: "I'm not a monkey, man."
 added: 9 June 2003
(02:45:01) [me]: hm, I have class in less than 6 hours
(02:45:15) [Shreyas]: yeah, i should go to bed or something too
(02:47:12) [me]: what timezone you in?
(02:47:17) [Sheryas]: eastern
(02:47:25) [me]: oh lord
(02:47:34) [me]: you must be at home
(02:47:53) [me]: (at home, meaning have nothing better to do than stay online all night =P)
(02:47:59) [Shreyas]: yes.
(02:48:03) [Shreyas]: i couldn't sleep
(02:48:17) [Shreyas]: visions of sugarplums, strange white birds, that kind of thing
 added: 9 January 2008
"Most animals that are scared of guys aren't scared of me."
 added: 19 February 2008
[MTVде уйду соосу көрсөтүлөт]
мен: "Неге саап жатат?"
Траллик: "Саабаса болбойт."
мен: "Жок, сааганын неге көрсөтөт?"
Траллик: "Просто, реклама, билбейм."
 added: 26 March 2008
"Well, it's like a protein bar."
 added: 13 April 2008
"So I was reading this ethnography written by this Russian guy who went to what's now Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan in 1913. Apparently, in the jayloo, the women do everything, even up to herding the animals; the men sit around on a rock or sit around and sun themselves; when they get bored, they pull out their shotgun and shoot a marmot, and skin it while the women cook dinner. All they've done is brought that system down into the city."
 added: 15 April 2008
Lara: "Hm, it smells like animals in here."
anonymous: "It's all the Kyrgyz."
 added: 24 July 2008
(16:10:49) kesuari: can black kids come from white parents?
 added: 25 February 2010
"Он взял хлеб, потом убежал чють-чють подальше и там стоял и кушал. Не друг, то есть, а белка."
 added: 11 April 2003
"What does gizmo mean?"
 added: 24 July 2011
(17:24:59) ragib: in fact, I'm bangladeshi
(17:26:53) zfe: are there still tigers there?
(17:34:52) ragib: yes, the royal bengal tiger :D
(17:37:25) zfe: cool
(17:42:24) zfe: can you privately own one
(17:42:28) zfe: in bangladesh?
(17:45:47) ragib: zfe, no i guess
(17:46:16) zfe: :(
(17:46:21) zfe: i wanted to be like scarface
(17:46:23) zfe: in bangladesh
(17:46:24) zfe: my villa
(17:46:27) zfe: my tiger
(17:46:27) ragib: oh
(17:46:29) zfe: my cocaine addict wife
(17:46:31) zfe: :(
(17:46:46) firespeaker: zfe: first you have to join the mafia though
(17:46:57) firespeaker: ... *be* the mafia
(17:46:59) ragib: hm
(17:47:18) zfe: "be" is more proper
(17:47:30) firespeaker: I suspect if you were that rich, you probably could own a tiger
(17:47:47) TinoDidriksen: Legally, only if you build a zoo.
(17:47:50) firespeaker: whatever laws exist could be avoided by payments to the right officials
(17:48:01) firespeaker: TinoDidriksen: I'm not talking legally
(17:48:08) firespeaker: TinoDidriksen: this is Bangladesh we're talking about
(17:48:19) TinoDidriksen: True true
(17:48:23) zfe: well, buying a zoo license
(17:48:30) zfe: is not that expensive probably
(17:48:41) firespeaker: zfe: but there would probably be restrictions associated with it
(17:48:46) firespeaker: like letting people in to see your tiger
(17:48:52) zfe: sure
(17:48:58) zfe: but who told you i will keep the tiger in a cage?
(17:49:14) zfe: food for tiger √
 added: 24 October 2011
"Wow, their cows look pretty cool. Oh wait, they're yaks."
 added: 1 February 2012
Андрей: "А почему свинину не кушаешь?"
я: "Моя мама еврейка, и поэтому у нас такая семейная традиция есть."
Андрей: "А мой дед был Удмурт, и поэтому я все кушаю."
 added: 28 March 2012
me: "Hm, this talk looks like it's going to be about how some researchers make animal communication look more similar to language than it is."
Tolgonay: "‘Meow.’ What did I say?"
 added: 9 November 2012
(11:51:13) Francis Tyers: do you have christmas lists in america ?
(11:51:42) jonathan: uhm
(11:51:44) jonathan: maybe?
(11:52:00) jonathan: I feel like there's some extra piece of pragmatics attached to what you have in mind
(11:52:49) jonathan: like, a wishlist that you might show your relatives before Christmas?
(11:52:54) Francis Tyers: yeah
(11:52:56) jonathan: yeah, sure
(11:52:59) Francis Tyers: that you hang on a tree
(11:52:59) jonathan: we have that :-P
(11:53:02) jonathan: whoa
(11:53:02) Francis Tyers: for the christmas robin
(11:53:03) jonathan: wait
(11:53:05) Francis Tyers: to collect
(11:53:08) Francis Tyers: the christmas robin
(11:53:12) jonathan: wtf man
(11:53:14) Francis Tyers: takes the list to father christmas
 added: 15 September 2013
Я: "Lucky точно так думает: ‘Я королева джунгли!’ деп."
Толгонай: "У родителей точно джунгли."