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oberon: "Well, this could be typical, and they'll have sex, or she'll kick him in the balls and it'll be really funny."

Vickie: "It's Sex and the City, what do you think?"

oberon: "This could be the city part."

Vickie: "I'm a year older than Matt."

Matt: "No you're not, because if you were, we wouldn't both be 21 right now."

Vickie: "Fine, I'm 9 months older than you."

Nat: "That's enough time to make a baby."

Vickie: "Yeah, I could be your mother."

everyone else in room confused.

oberon: "Uhm, that's not ... how ... it works."

[giggles] "Pain is funny."

Vickie: "Well, you vary plus-or-minus five pounds or so every day anyway."

Jon: "Yeah, I mean, I take a shit, and there goes ten pounds... I brush my teeth, and there's another five."

Jon: "Who left the iced tea pitcher with 2 shots in it?"

Vickie: "Wait, you don't measure iced tea in shots."

Nat & Jonathan simultaneously: "Jon measures everything in shots."

Jonathan: "The founders of modern anthropology and modern linguistics were both secular Jews."

Vickie: "The founder of modern psychology was a secular Jew."

Jon: "The founder of Christianity was a secular Jew."

Jonathan [referring to an incident that just happened]: "Well, if a weird shape appeared out from behind a wall and meowed at you, you'd be scared too."

Nat: "Yeah. I'm sorry I scared you, Vickie. I was calling you in your native tongue."

Vickie: "We can make margaritas, but we need a blender"

oberon: "Render? Burritos? Huh?"

"Shut the fuck up, you potty mouth."

Jon: "Ooh, we could so make a white Russian."

Jonathan: "With cranberry vodka?"

Vickie: "That would be a gay white Russian. It'd be a rainbow Russian."

"What is this? This is beginning to sound like the student union."

Nat: "If you keep speaking French, I'll be forced to hit you."

Jonathan: "What's wrong with French?"

Nat: "French sounds like ass."

Matt: "Nat, I don't know what your ass sounds like."

Nat: "I can show you."

Matt: "If it sounds like French, then okay."

"Only a Pole would put 'z's where he didn't know what letters go."

oberon: "We all have a little bit of 12-year-old girl inside. You're one to talk!"

Vickie: "I beat mine senseless and tie her up and rape her."

"Yay! Sexual Harrassment."

Vickie: "Vickie am hungry."

oberon: "Vickie am go in closet."

"Mostly because I had an overactive imagination. And my little sister was very stupid. Or, you know, little."

Vickie: "What country's flag is this?"

Jonathan: "Guess."

Vickie: "Mexico?"

Jonathan: "Uh, no..."

Vickie: "Spain?"

Jonathan: "Noo.."

Vickie: "Africa?"

Jonathan: "Uh, Vickie..?"

"That's an expensive relationship. He could find a cheaper one. He just doesn't know how to manage his money."

Vickie: "To sleep with Vickie."

Jon: "Uhm."

Vickie: "Yeah, you know, like `to bed with me'."

Matt: "I'm not disagreeing with any of the words you've been saying."

Nat: "Reciprocical could be a type of popsicle."

Jonathan: "You mean a `recipopsicle'?"

Vickie: "The popsicle that sucks you?!"

Matt: "Well, it would go numb after a while."

"Crack is rocks, cocaine is powder."

[Vickie pats Matt's head.]

"What?... One's for rich people and one's for poor people. I have to know which one to buy."

Matt: "Well, I'd rather be able to feed you than put jalapeños in it."

Vickie: "Why?"

Matt: "Because I like you more than I like jalapeños."

"This is soo cute. This is like middle school on crack."

"You see, cats are a lot more resourceful than plants."

oberon: "It's just funny that you have a picture of your boyfriend framed and labelled 'Kitty'. One of them you leave bowls of cream out for. One of them's a cat."

Ian: "No, one them you put bowls of cream out for; the other one puts bowls of cream out for you."

Vickie: "Your computer stole my hair!"

Matt: "It loves you too."

oberon: "It just wanted something to remember you by."

Matt: "It wants a lock of your hair to use as its favour in a jousting tournament. Oh, by the way, I told you I entered your computer in a jousting tournament, didn't I?"

Jonathan: "Всё. Пошли."

Nat: "I wonder if Vickie understands kick-to-the-shins."

Vickie: "Yes, you can change positions. Refusing to change your positions just means your pig-headed and stubborn and stupid."

Jonathan: "That makes me sad."

[anon]: "Drink up, Jonathan. That's the leader of the `free world'."

"Vickie, what has Brandeis taught you? You have Jesus in your livingroom and Hitler in your heart."

Nat: "Don't you want 50cc of chocolate ice cream?"

Vickie: "Oh! I need to call my mother!"

Jonathan: "Чё готовишь? [What're you making?]"

Vickie: "Cauliflower."

Jonathan: "С яйцами? [With eggs?]"

Vickie: "Yep."

Jonathan: "И с флафом?! [And with marshmallow fluff?!]"

Vickie: "Yep. And with paprika and Tony's."

Jonathan: "Whoa, there's all sorts of junk in there."

Vickie: "Yeah. It's a trash can."

Jonathan: "Well, there's like styrofoam and banana peals."

"Yeah, what's up with people who can't take naps? I think it's bisexual people—people who are bisexual can never take naps."

"Okay, well, none of you are 10-page papers, and none of you are due on Monday. Except possibly Vickie."

[in a seductive voice]

"You say you like prime numbers? Well.... I've got something that's only divisible by one.. and itself."

"Vicke, whoring out your boyfriend for your own amusement is not a good idea."